Needs: Can Someone Disconnect From Their Needs If They Experienced Trauma As A Child?

When it comes to someone’s needs, these are one of the things that allow them to have their own experience on this earth. This is not to say that they, unlike others, are the only ones with needs; it is that in each moment they will have their own set of needs.
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At times, what they need will be the same thing as what another person needs; while at others, what they need will be totally different to what another person needs. Having this connection to their needs, and being able to fulfil them on a regular basis, is going to have a positive effect on their life.

Integrated

One will have mental, physical and emotional needs, and so most of their needs will be found in their body. Ergo, when one has a good connection to their needs, it will show that they have a good connection to their body.

This could be the case when they are around others or by themselves, with them staying connected to this part of their being. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one will be in touch with their true-self.

Inner Compass

This part of their being, not their mind, will be what allows them to live a life that is in alignment with who they are. Their needs, along with their feelings and intuition, will tell them if something if right for them or not or if they should say yes or no, for instance.

Thanks to this, there will be no need for them to follow others or to rely on others to tell them what to do in life. The information that is inside them will be there to guide them on their own unique path – a path that no one else will have walked.

The Norm

If one was to take a step back and to reflect on how long their life has been this way for, they may find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember. They may then have had moments when they have lost touch with themselves but it won’t have been anything that has lasted for a sustained period of time.

At the same time, this might not have been how they have always experienced life. Perhaps they have only been this way for a few years, with them living a life that was very different a short while ago.

A Different Reality

Someone like this will know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence. When someone doesn’t have a good connection to their needs, they are unlikely to fulfil them on a regular basis.

In fact, one might rarely fulfil their needs, and this is likely to mean that will they lead a very frustrating existence. When they are around others and when they are by themselves, they may typically be unaware of what their needs are.

No Self

During the moments when they are around others, they could simply go along with what these people are doing. Not only this, they could create the impression that they are happy to do so.

Therefore, although one will be going against themselves, it won’t be possible for most people to realise this. However, living in this way is likely to mean that they will experience a fair amount of anger and frustration.

Two Experiences

When they are by themselves, they might end up coming into contact with how they really feel. In addition to feeling angry and frustrated, they could feel powerless and as though they have no control over their life.

Then again, they could do what they can to keep their feelings at bay. They could do this by watching something and/or eating something, or whatever else will allow them to keep their painful feelings at bay.

Waking Up

If one was able to take a step back and to reflect on what is going on, they could struggle to understand why they spend so much time being out of touch with their own needs. What could add more confusion to this is if they are able to connect to their needs when they are by themselves.

The thing about needs is that a lot of them will be met by others. So if one finds it hard to stay connected to them when they are around others, it is going to stop them from being able to meet a lot of their needs.  

What’s going on?

The reason that one generally loses touch with their needs, and thus their body, when they are around others, can be because they are carrying trauma. To stop themselves from being overwhelmed, they end up disconnecting from their body.

What this means is that they are not this way due to their being something inherently wrong with them; they are this way due to their beings need to stop them from being wiped out. This could show that something happened in their adult life or during their early years, that overwhelmed their whole being.

Back In Time

If it goes back to what place when they were a small child, it could show that they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. Whether this was a one-off experience or something that took place throughout this time in their life, it would have been too much for them to handle.

Many years have passed since this stage of their life, but all the arousal that they experienced will have stayed inside them. Being around their caregiver/s will have been dangerous, which will have caused them to associate closeness as something that was dangerous, and this is then why they disconnect from themselves around others.

Awareness

For one to no longer leave their body when they are around others and to stay connected to themselves, they will most likely need to work through the trauma that is inside them. This will stop them from being pushed out of their body.

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk   ​