What someone may find, if they were to reflect on their behaviour, is that they have the tendency to put things off. So, this can relate to one area of their life or it could relate to how they are in general.
If this relates to how they are in one area of their life, it might have much of an impact. Then again, even if this only relates to one area, it could still have a big impact on their life. One Area For example, if this relates to their job or career, it can mean that they won’t be able to make progress or they could stay in a position that they don’t want to be in. Either way, how they feel about this one area can prevent them from being able to enjoy other areas of their life. And, of course, the longer that this goes on, the more they will suffer and the harder it will be for them to take action. Therefore, it is clear to see they will be undermined in a variety of ways even when they only put one thing off. One Approach If there is one area of their life that they keep putting off, it could be said that it’s because they lack motivation. As they lack the drive that they need, they are unable to get things moving. In this case, the key will be for them to find a way to get themselves moving. To do this, they can change their diet, take certain supplements and focus on how bad their life will be in a few years time if they don’t take action. Another Approach Alternatively, the reason why they can’t get themselves moving can be due to them having ‘low self-esteem’. Thus, as they don’t feel good about themselves, they won’t feel that they deserve to move forward in one, or a number of areas in their life. Additionally, they might not believe that they have what it takes to move forward or to achieve something, for instance. Ergo, by putting something off, they won’t have to fail at something and end up feeling totally worthless. Another Angle But, putting something off is also likely to have a negative impact on how they feel. In this case, the key will be for them to raise their self-esteem. However, there is also the chance that they are not putting something off because they simply lack motivation and/or have low self-esteem. Instead, this can be a sign that, deep down, they don’t really want to do something. Two Selves The part of them that wants to do something is then going to be in conflict with another, stronger part of them that doesn’t. The part of them that wants to do something can relate to their false self, while the part that doesn’t can relate to their true self. For the former, the priority will be to please others, while for the latter; the priority will be to do things that are in alignment with who they are. Taking this into account, the key will be for them to connect to what it is that they actually want to do and allow their life to be driven by who they are, not who they think they should be. Going Deeper What is going on for them could be a sign that they lack motivation, have low self-esteem and/or are out of touch with their essence. There could be far more to it than this, though, as it could show that they are in a collapsed physiological state. As a result of this, they are going to lack the energy and thus, the drive, to get themselves moving. To use an analogy, they are going to be like a car that doesn’t have an engine or an engine that only works from time to time. What’s going on? What this can illustrate is their early years were a time when their mother and perhaps their father were emotionally unavailable and out of reach. They might have also been verbally and physically abused by one or both of their parents. Naturally, this would have greatly deprived and deeply wounded them. To handle what was going on, they would have gradually lost touch with their feelings and a number of their needs, losing touch with their body in the process. Self-Alienation This would have also involved their body going into a collapsed, shut down and frozen state, to keep their pain out of their conscious awareness and allow them to keep it together and function. If they hadn’t become estranged from themselves and gone into this state, they might not have survived. The material that is held outside of their conscious awareness can also cause their conscious mind to be flooded, making it hard for them to focus and concentrate. With so much going on at a mental level, they can often be overwhelmed and unable to do anything. Moving Forward For them to be able to focus and freely take action, they are going to need to reconnect to their body. By being rooted in their body and connected to their needs and feelings and feeling safe, they will be able to do what they need to do. For this to take place, they are likely to have a lot of inner work to do. This will take courage, patience and persistence. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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