If someone had the desire to be in a relationship, they might think about what they can do to find the right person. This could then be a time when they will join at least one dating app and/or they might start going out a few times a week.
Now, this is not to say that they will end up going to a bar; what they could do is find other ways to socialise with others. For example, they could go to classes at a gym or they could decide to learn a certain style of dancing.
A Different Experience
Then again, they could be someone who is already fairly sociable, so they won’t need to make any big changes in their life. Through going out so much and meeting different people, it might not be long until they find a suitable partner.
This may also mean that they won’t feel the need to join a dating app. Perhaps they have taken this approach in the past and it hasn’t gone well, or maybe they just prefer to meet people in the real world.
One of the benefits of meeting people in the real world is that they will be able to get a sense of what they are really like. When it comes to online dating, anything can be written on a profile, pictures can be edited and anything can be said over a screen.
In the real world, it is not going to be possible for this to take place. So, if they are in tune with themselves, they will be able to get a sense of what another person is like when they meet them in person.
A Number of Traps
Still, even if someone does take this route, they can still end up being deceived. If, for example, they were to get too caught up in how they feel, this would make it harder for them to be present and to see if another person is actually right for them.
In the real world, people can still put on an act and wear things that can have a big effect on others. What this emphasises is how important it is for someone to operate as a whole human being, as opposed to one part of them taking over.
When they have found another person who they think is right for them, they may take the time to get to know them. Alternatively, it might not take place at such a slow pace, meaning a lot could happen in a relatively short period of time.
Even so, they might describe this person as: respectful, attentive and kind, amongst other things. If, on the other hand, this person wasn’t like this, they might feel uncomfortable and cut their ties.
It could be said that this will be the sensible approach to take; after all, if they didn’t do anything about it in the beginning, it would be a lot harder for them to walk away as time goes by. Through being around this kind of behaviour, they might end up becoming comfortable with it.
However, there are going to be others who end up feeling uncomfortable when another person treats them well. As a result of this, they will do what they can to end the relationship – that’s if they even get to this point.
Due to this, someone like this may have the tendency to end up with people who treat them badly. But while this could be what generally takes place, it doesn’t mean that they will be happy with this.
When this happens, they might think about what it would be like to be in a healthy relationship, for instance. But, if they do end up with another person who is different, they won’t be able to embrace them.
It is then likely to be rare for someone like this to get close to another person who treats them well. And, when this does happen, they could come up with all kinds of reasons as to why they are not a good match for them.
Yet, no matter what they say; the fact is that a big part of them only feels comfortable around people who treat them like dirt. The alternative would be to say that this person is just unlucky, but this is not the truth.
A Closer Look
If they were to get in touch with what is taking place at a deeper level, they may find that they feel completely worthless. This will cause them to believe that they don’t deserve to be with someone who treats them well.
And, if they are worthless and another person likes them, it will show that this person must have something wrong with them, too. If this wasn’t the case, there would be no reason for them to like them.
What this can show is that they were abused and/or neglected during their childhood years, which would have caused them to believe that they were flawed and less-than human. This would have permeated their whole being.
The years would then have passed and this would have caused them to disconnect from what took place. While this would have been a way for them to feel better, the downside is that this will stop them from being able to see why they are experiencing life in this way as an adult.
Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with who they are, and this is why it is vital that they reach out for the right support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.