In today’s world, it is relatively easy for a woman receive attention; the only thing that she needs is a social media account. And if one is not enough, then she can join a number of different sites.
A Big Audience
Once she has uploaded a few pictures of herself, it might only be a matter of time before she has a large following. That is something is likely to depend on what she looks like, as her appearance will have a big effect.
If she is classed as being physically attractive or even if she is seen as being relatively attractive, it might not be long until hundreds or even thousands of people are ‘liking’ and commenting on her pictures. What this shows is that it won’t have been necessary for her to achieve anything significant in order to receive attention.
This is why it has been said that while men are born poor and die rich, women are born rich and die poor - that is when it comes to their sexual market value. Another way of looking at it would be to say that men are human doings and women are human beings.
A lot has been done to try to change this, but a man’s value is often attributed to what he does, and a woman’s value is often attributed to what she looks like. This is then why women are often perceived as having more value than men when they are younger and why it can take a while for a man to be seen as being valuable.
The A Clear Example
The only thing a woman needs is to have good genes and she is likely to be seen as valuable; whereas a man will probably need to work hard and to produce something significant in order to be perceived in the same manner. This is something that stands out on social media.
And when a woman shares pictures online they could just be of her face, or she could share pictures of her body, too. On the one hand, this could be something that she does from time to time, while on the other, she could upload pictures every day.
It could then be as if this is someone who is obsessed with their appearance, and this is going to relate to their face and their body. But even if this is the case, most of their ‘followers’ are likely to overlook this.
This could mean that this person is a ‘model’, or maybe they work in the porn industry, for instance. Her body might not just be seen as another part of her – it could be seen as who she is.
To the majority of men who ‘follow’ her, she is not just going to be a women who is a human being; she will be some kind of goddess. There will be what they would like to do to her and then there will be what they would like to do for her.
And by receiving this kind of feedback, it can cause the women to believe that she is special and better than everyone else. Yet, if she receives hundreds of comments and messages a day, this is not going to be much of a surprise.
One way of looking at this would be to say that when a man behaves in this manner he is being fuelled by lust. His sexual desire is then what is defining his behaviour, as opposed to him having a real appreciation for the woman.
This doesn’t mean that his emotions are not having an effect, though, as the lust that he experiences could be a way for him to avoid how he feels. Deep down he could feel empty, and this is likely to show that he is out of touch with his own feminine aspect.
As a result of this, he ends up projecting the parts of himself that he hasn’t realised onto women; this will relate to being loved, supported, and feeling whole, among other things. Through being out of touch with his own feminine aspect, it will cause him believe that he needs to be with a woman to experience these things.
When it comes to a woman who needs so much attention, it would be easy to say that she is just doing this to express herself. Then again, it could also show that she lacks a strong sense of self and doesn’t value herself.
A Deep Hole
Like a bucket with a hole in, it might not matter how much positive feedback she receives as it will never be enough. It is then likely to show that there is something within her that is causing her to feel this way.
Her need to look perfect externally is then a way for her to counteract how flawed she feels on the inside. And if she does look practically perfect on the outside, it is generally going to be a challenge for people to see what is going on.
A Deeper Look
At one point in her life, she may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. This could have been during her adult years, or it could go back to what happened when she was younger.
Maybe she was physically or even sexually abused, which would have set her up to experience a lot of shame. It was then not that there was something wrong with the person or people who abused her - it was that there was something inherently wrong with her.
The years would then have passed and she would have done everything she could to avoid her true feelings. What this shows is how painful it is to experience toxic shame; it is probably the most painful feeling to experience.
At the same time, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that it is simply a feeling, as it is something that is likely to have penetrated her whole being. If a woman can relate to this, and she wants to change her life, it might be a good idea for her to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.