Self-Doubt: Can Someone To Suffer From Self-Doubt If They Had A Critical Parent?

Someone can be good at something, but that doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept this. When it comes to what this relates to, it can be what they do for a living.

Thanks to this, instead of being able to move forward, they can end up staying in the same position. If so, they will have put in the work and be ready to move forward, but they won’t move forward.

A Number of Areas

Along with what is going on in this area of their life, there can be other areas of their life that are very similar. So, they could be single and question if another person would want to be with them.

Or, they could be in a relationship but continually question if their partner is going to walk away. And, they could have one or a number of hobbies that they are good at but, once again, they might not be able to accept this.

Another Expression

There could also be one or a number of things that they want to do but they could continually talk themselves out of it. What could cross their mind is if they would be able to do it and if something might go wrong.
For example, they might want to join a running club or they might want to run a marathon. Then again, they might want to travel to another country or travel to a number of countries.

An Analogy

Irrespective of what it is that they want to do, they are going to be like a car that typically has the brakes on. This car might go into first gear and even into higher gears but this won’t take place very often.

Most likely, they are going to be very frustrated and angry about what is going on. They might wonder why they are like this and are unable to freely express themselves and feel confident and capable.

An Exercise

For them to gain a deeper understanding of what is going on, it will be a good idea for them to use their imagination. One option is for them to imagine that they are freely expressing themselves and are no longer being held back.

At first, they can experience a sense of liberation and feel alive and powerful. After this, they can feel grateful and relieved.

The Next Part

However, it might not be long until their inner experience starts to shift. They can soon end up experiencing anxiety and fear and have the need to go back to how they were before.

Yet, if they were to go deeper, they might find that they expect to be criticised, humiliated and rejected. This will then be a time when they feel exposed and unsafe and have the need to retreat, which will show that their survival instinct has kicked in.

A Closer Look

If this is what takes place, they can wonder why freely expressing themselves causes them to feel this way. However, if they were to reflect on their early years, what is going on for them might start to make sense.

What might soon enter their mind is that one of their parents was often very undermining. If this was the case, this parent might have often criticised and humiliated them.

A Battle

A stage of their life, when they needed support and encouragement, was then a stage when they were greatly undermined. And, not just by anyone but by someone who was supposed to be on their side.

In general, it might not have mattered what they did as they would have been sent the message that what they did wasn’t good enough. This may have caused them to believe that they had to be perfect in order to be accepted.

The outcome

Most likely, this parent had also been treated in the same way during their formative years. This parent would then have been unconsciously projecting repressed parts themselves into their child, which would have prevented them from being able to see them clearly.

But, although this parent wouldn’t have been able to see them and, thus, how they were treated wasn’t a reflection of their worth or lovability, as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place. Moreover, to handle what took place, their brain would have repressed the pain that they experienced and a number of their needs.

Moving Forward

What this shows is that they are not worthless, unlovable, incapable, or useless or anything else for that matter. It is just that they didn’t receive the support and encouragement that they needed at the stage of their life when their view of themselves was being formed.

For them to change their life, they are likely to have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through, and unmet development needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper