Self-Ownership: Can Someone See Themselves As An Object If They Were Abused As A Child?

If someone were to take a step back and reflect on how they behave, what might stand out is that they don’t act like an individual who has their own needs and feelings. Instead, they act like an object that exists to meet other people’s needs.

So, what can be normal is for them to be focused on others and to do what they can to meet their needs. They can then meet their basic needs but they can typically overlook their other needs.

One Area

When it comes to the people in their life, then, they can do a lot for them but receive very little in return. And, if they are in an intimate relationship, this can be how it is with their partner.

As a result of this, being used will be a normal part of their life, and they are likely to often feel angry and frustrated. But, even though they are likely to feel this way, it doesn’t mean that they will always embrace these feelings.

Covered Up

In general, how they feel can be pushed out of their couscous awareness. This will then be something that takes place automatically, not something that they consciously choose to do.

The reason that they do this can be because they don’t feel safe enough to express how they feel. If they were to stay connected to how they feel and express themselves, they could feel anxious and fearful.

Another Element

Along with this, they can find that they don’t feel worthy or deserving of being treated differently and having their needs met. Therefore, they just have to put up with what is going on and do their best to keep going.

The people in their life will have the right to express their feelings and meet their needs, but they won’t have this right. Their life will then be something that they have to do their best to endure as opposed to enjoy.

What’s going on?

At this point, they could wonder why they behave in this way, feel as they do, and don’t have the sense that they deserve to express how they feel and meet their needs. They could be at the stage where they can’t bear to live in this way any longer.

But, as they will be used to being taken advantage of and being deprived, this is not going to be a surprise. They will be living a life where they are just surviving, not thriving, and this will have worn them down.

A Closer Look

When it comes to why they are experiencing life in this way, it can be due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were not seen as an individual who had their own needs and feelings.

Throughout this stage of their life, they might have been treated as though they were an object who was there to meet their parent or parent’s needs. The outcome of this is that, apart from their basic needs being met, they would have been greatly deprived and this would have deeply wounded them.

A Brutal Time

Thus, being used and violated would have been something that took place on a regular basis and as they were powerless and dependent, there wasn’t anything that they could do. Moreover, as they were egocentric, they would have come to believe that their needs and feelings were bad and that they had no rights.

Not receiving the attunement and care that they needed would have stopped them from being able to create a felt sense of safety, value and lovability, among other things. When it comes to why they were treated in this way, it is likely that their parent or parents had also been deprived and were unable to provide them with what they needed.

Moving Forward

Most likely, their parent or parents didn’t heal any of their inner wounds, which would have played a big part in why they repeated what was done to them. Taking this into account, how they were treated was not a reflection of their worth or lovability or a sign that they had no rights.

For them to change their life, they are likely to have beliefs to question and pain to face and work through. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk