If someone is finding it hard to move forward and this is how their life has been for as long as they can remember, the last thing on their mind could be that this has got anything to do with their sibling. This is assuming that they have one, of course, and are not simply an only child.
As to why their life is this way, it could be seen as being due to what is going on ‘out there’. For example, they could believe that someone or something is holding them back or that people just like to stop them from having what they desire.
When it comes to their job or career, they might only have been able to get so far or they could make a breakthrough and then, before long, go back to how they were before. Most likely, this will cause them to experience a fair amount of anger and frustration.
In fact, they could often feel totally helpless and depressed, wondering if they can be bothered to carry on any longer. When it comes to the people in their life, most if not all of them may have been able to move forward.
As for their relationships, they may have good friends but they might not have been able to hold down an intimate relationship. If they have been in at least one intimate relationship, this might have soon ended.
It might have been going well and seemingly out of nowhere, it ended up coming to an end. Then again, they might see that it soon started to break down and they were left with many questions at the end.
Playing Their Part
Based on what they do, there is the chance that there is no reason for them to be in this position. They will then be doing all the right things and thus, should have been able to achieve a greater level of success.
A very surface way of looking at this would be to say that they have ‘low self-esteem’ and this is why they are unable to move forward. If they were able to raise this part of them, their life would change.
A Waste of Time
This is something that they could end up doing by using affirmations and talking positively to themselves. They may feel slightly better about themselves after a while and even make progress but it might not be long until they end up where they were before, or close to it.
Now, respective of whether they have or haven’t tried to increase their self-esteem, if it was put forward to them that the relationship that they have with their sibling is holding them back, they could struggle to understand how this is so. For one thing, they might not even be close to them and could seldom speak to them.
A Closer Look
When it comes to their sibling, they could be a lot older than them or they could be of a similar age or even younger. Along with this, they could be fairly successful in one or all areas of their life.
If they were to think about this sibling and to imagine that their own life is going well, so they have moved forward in their career, have a fulfilling intimate relationship and they are fulfilled, for instance, they may find that they feel good. After a while, though, they could end up feeling very uncomfortable.
A Strange Experience
Under this discomfort could be guilt, shame and they could feel as if they are going to be rejected and abandoned. What this is likely to show is that their survival is attached to them.
As a result of this, there are going to be certain things that they will need to do to avoid displeasing them and their life coming to an end. Part of this will be to avoid growing and expanding as this would cause them to overshadow their sibling, which will be seen as a risk.
A parental Figure
If this is the case, it could be said that this sibling will be seen as more like their mother or father. What this could illustrate is that during their younger years, this sibling did play this role and was there for them.
Their mother and father, on the other hand, might not have been available. Not having their parents love and support would have stopped them from receiving a lot of the nutrients that they needed to be able to grow and develop, and this would have caused them to suffer.
Having a sibling who was more available would have made it easier for them to adapt to what was going on. As an adult, just like when they were a child, pleasing this sibling, albeit unconsciously, will have been a way for them to stop themselves from coming into the pain that they experienced by rarely if ever having their developmental needs met by their parents.
With this understanding in place, what is going on will make complete sense. But, as this information will have been blocked out of their conscious awareness to protect them, it will have been normal for them to see themselves as being powerless and having no control.
If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.