Survival: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Their Survival If They Experienced Childhood Trauma?

What someone may find is that although they want to experience life in a certain way, it is not possible for them to do so. If they were to think about how long their life has been this way for, they may find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember.

Consequently, they may wonder if their life will ever change, and they might even start to question if they have any control over their life. So, taking into account how long their life has been this way for, they could be in a very desperate position.

Going Deeper

Now, although they may believe that they have no control over what is taking place, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the case. What this is likely to illustrate is that a big part of them doesn’t want their life to change.

To this part of them, what is taking place will be associated as what is safe. Thus, even though what is taking place will stop them from living a fulfilling existence, there will be a hidden benefit to it.

Two parts

At this point, one could struggle to understand what is going. It could be as though something else, something that is completely out of their control, is in control of their life.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that it is their unconscious mind that is sabotaging their life. This part of them will have far more control over their life than their conscious mind.

Two Extremes

As this part of them wants something else and it has far more control, it won’t matter what their conscious mind wants. For their life to change, then, they will need to get this part of them on board.

Once this takes place, their life will have to change. Through being aware of this, what could consume one’s mind is why what is taking place in their life would be associated as what is safe at a deeper level.

Shining the light

To understand why this is so, they may need to take the time to reflect on what their early years were like. If their mind has blocked out this stage of their life, this won’t be an option right now.

However, if they were able to connect to this stage of their life, they may find that it wasn’t very harmonious or loving. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

A Traumatic Time

This wouldn’t have been a time when they received what they needed to receive in order to grow and develop. Instead, it would have been a time when they had to do what they could to survive.

As they were powerless, dependent and incapable, they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on. But, thanks to their strength and ability to both adapt and to dissociate, they were able to handle what took place by disconnecting from the experience.

At a Great Cost

Still, while they lived to tell the tale, so to speak, what took place would have left a mark on their whole system. It would have affected their brain and nervous system and mental and emotional self.

In addition to this, there would have been the beliefs/associations that their mind formed during this stage of their life. Forming these would have allowed them to handle what was going on at this stage of their life, but now that what took place is over, these will do more harm than good.

A Closer Look

As a result of what they went through as a child, they may have some, if not all, of the following beliefs:

• That they can only survive if they are not seen
• That they can only survive if they are not heard
• That they can only survive if they please others
• That they can only survive if they hide who they are
• That they can only survive if they hide their feelings
• That they can only survive if they hide their needs
• That they can only survive if they are submissive
• That they can only survive if they stay out of their body

With beliefs like these, as well as others, it is not going to be a surprise that one finds it hard to change their life. The truth is that they no longer need to hold onto these beliefs/associations.

Awareness

For one to move forward, it will be essential for them to shine the light of awareness on what they believe and to question what comes up. Along with this, there are likely to be the emotional wounds that they carry from this stage of their life.
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They may find that when they work through these emotional wounds, the beliefs/associations that are holding them back start to fall away. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper