Although someone’s early years will have left a big impact on their whole being, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. In fact, they might not even think about what took place at this stage of their life.
Still, their body, their inner world and their view of the world could all indicate that this time of their life had a big effect on them. As they are unable to remember what took place, they will be aware of the effects of what took place but they won’t be aware of the cause. One Part When it comes to their body, they could spend a lot of time living in their head. From their neck down, or least from their hips down, they could typically feel numb. If so, they are not going to have a good connection to their needs and feelings, and they could often suffer from low energy. Their needs and feelings will be in their body and their energy will also rise up from the bottom of their being. Diminished As a result of not having a good connection to their body, they are seldom going to be aware of what it is that they truly need or how they feel. The outcome of this is that they could have the tendency to do what other people want, neglecting themselves in the process. And their life force in not going to be able to rise up to the top of their being, weakening them in the process. They might have a fair amount of mental energy but this won’t exactly fill them with life or give them the desire to take action. A Passive Existence Ultimately, the energy that they need to be able to truly embrace life will rarely be there. Thanks to this, they could often look towards others to make things happen, with them being drawn to people who come across as the complete opposite to them. One will then be dependent on people like this, seeing them as possessing something that they themselves don’t have. Another consequence of this is that one could be used to being controlled, and even dominated, by people like this. The Second Part When it comes to their inner world, they generally might not feel anything, as was mentioned above. However, as numb as they often may be, there will probably be moments when they feel overwhelmed. This will be a time when their thinking brain goes offline and their being is filled with terror; it will seem as though their life is about to come to an end. They could have this experience if they are around someone who is violent or when they think about standing up for themselves, for instance. The Third Part When it comes to how they perceive the world, it could be seen as somewhere that is unsafe and dangerous, due to them projecting their own terror into the world. No matter how calm and peaceful somewhere appears to be, they could believe that it could change at any moment. Through being this way, it will be normal for them to experience a fair amount of anxiety and to be on edge. Naturally, living in this way is going to make it hard for them to be at peace and it won’t be good for their overall health. An Adaption From the outside, they could be described as someone who is passive, easy-going and even neurotic. They are unlikely to stand out or to leave a mark on the world that much is clear. Yet, how they come across won’t be a reflection of who they truly are, it will simply be a way for them to handle the pain that they are in. If they were to work through their trauma, it is highly likely that they would radically change. Going Deeper If they were able to reconnect to what took place when they were younger, what is going on would start to make sense. Their brain will have blocked out what took place in order to protect them. This may have been a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis. A time when they should have felt safe and secure would have been a time when they often felt as though they were going to be annihilated. The Only Option As they were completely powerless and dependent on their caregivers, they wouldn’t have been able to run away or to fight back. So, along with being very submissive (the fawn response), they would have had no other choice than to disconnect from their body. This would have been the only way to stop themselves from being overwhelmed by the arousal that they were experiencing. There would have been no need for them to think about this either as it would have just happened. Frozen What they went through will have passed but they will have continued to be in this shutdown state. This will prevent them from being able to operate as a whole human being and keep most of their life force at bay. For this to change, they will need to slowly work through the layers of trauma that are inside them. Due to how much pain there is inside them, this is not something that can be rushed. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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