Willpower: Can A Man Have A Weak Will If He Had Controlling Parents?

What a man may find, if he were to take a step back and reflect, is that he finds it hard to stick to things. So, he can come up with a goal and start taking action and then, before long, he can put it to one side.

He might see that this often takes place after he has experienced a setback. When this happens, he can end up feeling defeated and not have the strength to continue.

Another Area

Along with this, he can find that it is hard for him to stand his ground and say no. Due to this, it can be normal for him to be taken advantage of and do things that he would rather not do.

When this happens, he could find that he doesn’t believe that he has a choice and just has to put up with what is going on. He can then end up feeling frustrated, resentful and helpless.

One Conclusion

After thinking about this and perhaps other challenges that he has, he could believe that he lacks something. What could soon enter his mind is that he lacks the strength that he needs to stick to things and stand up for himself.

He might find that he has been this way for most of his life, which might cause him to believe that he was born this way. If so, there is not going to be a great deal that he can do about what is going on.

Another Point of view

However, if he were to take a closer look at what his early years were like, he might start to get an idea about why he is this way. Then again, he might not be able to remember much about this stage of his life.

Or, he could say that this stage of his life wasn’t that bad and that other people have it worse. Furthermore, he could say that he wasn’t hit by either of his parents and generally had what he needed.

Going Deeper

Still, there is a chance that his conscious mind has forgotten about the parts of his childhood that would shed light on why he is this way. Therefore, he might not have been hit and his basic needs might have generally been met but he might have been deprived in other ways.

For example, his father and mother might not have allowed him to freely express himself and could have been very domineering at times. His father might have been the parent who was typically in control or it might have been his mother.

Very Oppressive

Either way, thanks to how controlling one or both of his parents often were, he wouldn’t have been able to stay connected to and then strengthen his will. He would have been in a battle and it would have been a battle that he couldn’t win.

After perhaps doing his best to resist their control, he is likely to have ended up giving up and accepting what was going on. As he was powerless and dependent, he was not in a position to change them or to leave them.

Beaten Down

A stage of his life when he needed to be able to express himself, so that he could develop a strong will, would have been a time he had to lose touch with this part of him. The support and encouragement that he needed wouldn’t have been provided.

In all likelihood, his parents were not thinking about the impact that this would have on him and how this would affect his ability to survive, let alone thrive, as an adult. They were probably focused consciously, and unconsciously, on doing what they could to control their son, so that he wouldn’t bring up any of their own issues and would be easier to handle.

The outcome

Not only would his will have been repressed and remained underdeveloped, but he would have come to believe that this side of him was bad. Moreover, expressing this part of him, a part that is normal and important, is likely to have been seen as something that would cause him to be rejected and even harmed.

To handle what was going on, he is also likely to have ended up losing touch with his feelings and a number of his needs. He would then have been forced to lose touch with his connected and embodied, true self and develop a disconnected and disembodied, false self.

Moving Forward

Ultimately, there was and is nothing wrong with his need to express himself or his will. And, if his parents had been in their power and were not wounded, they would have encouraged him to express his will in a healthy manner.

They would have realised how important this was and how he needed a strong will to do well as an adult. For him to know that his will is not bad and develop this side of him and reconnect to his body, he is likely to have a lot of inner work to do.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk