Willpower: Can Someone Rely On Willpower If They Have Experienced Childhood Trauma?

On one side, there is willpower and, on the other, there is emotional power. The former can be seen as something that comes from the mind, while the latter can be seen as something that comes from the body.

At times, someone won’t feel like doing something that they know is good for them, so they will have to use their willpower. Therefore, this fuel source is valuable and without it, their life wouldn’t be the same.

A Time and A Place

However, this fuel source is unlikely to always be available to them and this is why they will need their other fuel source to move them forward. When they want to do something and they feel the need to do it, it won’t take much effort for them to take action.

In this case, all of them will want to do something, thereby making it easier; whereas when only their mind wants to do something and not their body, only part of them will want to do something, thereby making it harder. Taking this into account, it is clear to see why relying on willpower alone can lead to a life of struggle and strain.

Back To Reality

Now, even though there are people who can utilise both fuel sources, there are others who are unable to do so. When someone is unable to use both fuel sources, they can be in one of two positions.

Either, they can lack willpower and be controlled by their feelings, and their emotional self can be in a bad way, causing them to continually do things that don't serve them, or, they can rely on their willpower and have a weak connection to their feelings. In the second case, it is not going to be a surprise if they often end up being burnt out.

One Experience

Still, thanks to their ability to force themselves to do what they need to do, they may have been able to achieve a certain level of success. Due to this, they could be used to receiving positive feedback from others.

Some people could see them as an example to follow and wonder how they have been able to achieve so much. One will have a strong will and this will have allowed them to move mountains, so to speak.

Taken Out

For most of their life, they could be out of touch with how they feel. Yet, when they do get in touch with how they feel, they could end up doing their best to push their feelings out of their conscious awareness.

At times, though, this might not be possible and they could end up being wiped out by these feelings. Their willpower will be no match for the feelings that arise as they will be so intense.

A Battle

Instead of their emotional self working with their mental self, these two parts will be at war with each other. Or to be more accurate, instead of their mind working with their body; it will be doing its best to fight this part; seeing it as the only way to maintain its own existence.

In order for them to live a life that requires less force and effort, they will need to embrace their emotional self. To allow this part of them to fuel them as opposed to relying on their mind to make everything happen.

A Big Risk

Nonetheless, as this part of them has a negative effect on them, there is going to be no reason for them to embrace this part of their being. It will be normal for them to do their best to keep their feelings at bay.

Until they are able to embrace this part of their being, they will be a very watered-down version of themselves, regardless of how they come across or how much they have achieved. Also, the feelings that they do their best to keep at bay will be having an effect on how they experience reality.

Living on the Surface

When it comes to why someone would experience life in this way, it can be due to what took place during their early years and the impact that this had on them. This may have been a time in their life when they were deeply traumatised.

They may have been abused and/or neglected, which would have caused them to experience a lot of pain. To handle what was going on, they would have been forced to disconnect from themselves.

Divided

The years would have gone by and they would have developed a personality around the impact that this trauma had on their being. Part of this would have meant living in their head and being out of touch with their body.

This would have naturally caused them to rely on willpower, too, as a result of not having access to their emotional fuel. This means that they haven’t consciously chosen to be this way; they were traumatised into being way.

Facing the Pain

For this to change, they will need to work through the emotional pain that is locked inside their body. By working through this pain, the emotional part of their being will begin to serve them.

They will see that this part can be supportive and give them strength. With this support and strength, they will be far more formidable than they were before and it won’t be like they are stuck on a treadmill that they can’t step away from.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk