Withdrawal: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Withdraw Under Stress?

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they behave in a way that doesn’t serve them when they experience a lot of stress. So, they can see that they have the tendency to withdraw physically.

Along with this, they can lose touch with their emotional self and become emotionally disconnected.  When both of these things take place, they will be physically and emotionally unavailable.

External Feedback

As a result of this, their friends and perhaps family can wonder what has happened to them. When they respond in the first way, it can be as though they have gone to another part of the country, or another country entirely.

When they respond in the first and second way, it can be as though they have completely disappeared and/or are no longer alive. Naturally, this can be a time when other people are concerned.

The Other Difference

Now, when they respond in the first way, it might be possible for others to contact them. But, when they respond in the first and second way, it might not be possible for others to reach them.

In the first case, other people can wonder what is going on and in the second, they can worry about if they are ok. However, some of the people in their life could be aware of their inclination to not be available physically and emotionally.

A Pattern

These people could believe that when this takes place, they just need to let them know that they are there if they need them and give them space. They might also go and visit them every now and then to show their support.

If so, this can show that the people in their life are very supportive and understanding. Alternatively, they could be in a position where they are not overly close to anyone and end up being isolated when this takes place.

A Strange Scenario

Unsurprisingly, not having anyone there for them when this takes place is going to make it harder for them to handle what is going on. The reason for this is that they are an interdependent human being, who needs others.

At this point, they can wonder why they behave in this way when they experience a lot of stress. They might, for example, believe that it would be better for them to reach out for support during this time and stay connected to how they feel.

It’s Automatic

Nonetheless, what they can find is that when they experience a lot of stress, they don’t choose to isolate themselves or lose touch with how they feel. Instead, this can be something that takes place automatically.

At this point, they could believe that they have no control over how they behave during this time and are powerless. Consequently, they could feel helpless and hopeless.

What’s going on?

Now, while it can seem as though they have no control and are being undermined by their brain and body by behaving in this way, what if there is more to it? What if they do have control and their brain and body are protecting them?

Yet, thanks to how they behave during this time, they can struggle to accept that they have control and how their brain and body are protecting them. Most likely, a big part of them believes that behaving this way is the only way for them to survive when they experience a lot of stress.

Going Deeper

What this can show is that their brain and body are responding to how things were, not how things are. If this is the case, it is likely that there was a stage in their life when behaving in this way was their only way to protect themselves.

Assuming that this is so, it can show that their early years were a time when they were often deeply traumatised. Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have often been deprived, which would have caused them to be overwhelmed.

One Option      

At this stage of their development, as they were powerless and dependent, their only choice was to lose touch with their emotional self and mentally detach from themselves. This wouldn’t have changed what was going on, but it would have ensured their survival.

The years would have passed and they would have grown physically and mentally, if not emotionally, and they might have continued to be traumatised. But, if they were, as they were more capable than they were before, they would have been able to withdraw not just emotionally but physically, too.

Replaying The Past

Of course, many, many years will have passed since this stage of their life, but their brain and body won’t realise this. This is why they will respond in this way when they are under stress.

They will also be carrying most, if not all, of the pain and unmet developmental needs that they had to repress. This pain and these needs will make it harder for them to handle the stress that they experience, as their nervous system will already be maxed out.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk