It is often said that if one wants to have a healthy relationship, they will need to have high self-esteem. Through being this way, it will then allow them to be with someone who will treat them in the right way.
And, if one doubted this, they would only need to pay attention to the people who are in abusive relationships. If they were to do this, they are likely to come across people who don’t value themselves. For Example There is the chance that one will know someone who is in an abusive relationship, and this will mean that they will be familiar with how they behave. But, even if this is not the case, it shouldn’t be heard for them to find someone who does experience life in this way. Through observing their behaviour, they may see that this is someone who doesn’t treat themselves very well. As if they did, they wouldn’t put up with someone who treats them so badly. All Areas It might not stop their though, as this person may allow other people to also treat them in the same way. This is not to say that everyone will treat them in the same way; what it means is that they are generally not going to be respected by others. It could be normal for other people to walk over them and to see them as someone who doesn’t have a problem with this kind of behaviour. The reason for this is that they are not going to stand their ground. Overlooked So, even if they were to get annoyed about what has happened, there are going to plenty of other times when they don’t say anything. Alternatively, someone could get annoyed and walk away, and then end up coming back again. There is then going to be no reason for other people to take them seriously; they will know that no matter what they do, it won’t push them away. If one does value themselves and they are friends with someone like this, it may mean that they rarely see them. Connected Perhaps this is someone they know from school or college, for instance, and it is then going to be as if they are close friends. Or, this could a member of their family, and they might do what they can to limit the amount of time they spend with them. There could be moments every year when they come into contact with them, and they could wonder why this person doesn’t change their life. And even if they were to try to help them, they might not get very far. A Way of Life This person could dismiss everything they say, and act as though one is trying to undermine then in some way. Therefore, one is going to be seen as a threat, as opposed to someone who actually wants them to change their life. On the other hand, one could offer their advice and the other person could accept it. But although they could create the impression that they will change their life, this might not actually take place. The Same Story Once this conversation is over, they could just go back to what they were doing before and continue to experience life in the same way. It could be said that while can offer their advice, they can’t make someone change. If they were to feel the need to change their circumstances, it won’t be hard for them to find the information they need. The internet is full of information on how someone, who experiences life in this way, can change their circumstances. The Time Has Come If this person was to get to the point where they were no longer willing to put up with what they are going through, they could look into how they can build their self-esteem. This is something that could take place through using positive self-talk, affirmations and spending time around supportive people, among other things. Through doing this for a little while, they may gradually begin to feel better about themselves. And, as a result of this, they may find that they end up in a relationship with someone who will treat them well. Another Outcome At the same time, one could find that even though they feel good about themselves, they end up in a relationship with someone who is no different. It could then be said that they need to continue to work on their self-esteem, and to wait a little bit longer until they have a relationship. Yet, if they were to take a step back and to pay attention to the people who do have high self-esteem, they may find that some of these people also end up in bad relationships. It is then not going to be something that is black and white. A Deeper Look When this happens, someone is going to come across as though they value themselves and they could have a successful career. But while it would be easy to believe that this must mean that their love life is also fulfilling, this is not going to be the truth. What this can show is that even though someone can feel good about themselves and be a competent human being, it doesn’t mean that every part of them is in alignment. At a deeper level, they could feel comfortable with being with people who treat them badly. A Cover Up How they see themselves is then going to be the complete opposite of what is taking place at their core. And this is not something that is going to change by adding things; it will change through letting go of what doesn’t belong within them. When it comes to why this would feel comfortable at a deeper level, it can relate to what took place during their early years. It might be a challenge for them to remember what took place, but it can be what is defining their life nevertheless. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their circumstances, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist. This will give them the chance to look through what is going on within them and to gradually deal with it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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When a relationship comes to an end, it can mean that two people are happy to be able to move on with their life. It could then be said that this was something that had run its course, and that there was no reason for them to stay together.
Now, this is not to say that one of them won’t feel sad about what has happened, and this could be something that both of them experience. Even so, they will know that it is for the best. Another Outcome At the same time, this could be an experience that one of them has, and it is then not going to be possible for both of them to move on with their life. One person could feel as though this is something that has happened too soon. In fact, they may have believed that they had met the right person to spend the rest of their life with. This can then cause one to not only feel deeply upset, but as though they have no control. A Good Connection If one was to think back to the moments they shared, they could start to remember all the good times they had. And not only can they have shared good moments together; they might have had a lot in common. This could be a sign that they were together for a number of months, or it might have been a matter of years. The experiences they did have might have involved travelling to other countries. Another Experience Alternatively, this may have been a relationship that wasn’t very stable, and there could have been all kinds of problems. One might see that they have had moments when they didn’t speak for days or even weeks. Their connection might not have been very strong, and it could have been as if they stayed together for the sake of it. And while they might have just had arguments, it could have meant that abuse occurred. Two Levels Therefore, if one was to reflect on their relationship, they might see that it is a good thing that it came to an end. It will be only too clear that they were with the wrong person and that this had to end. But if they were to get it touch with how they feel, they are going to have radically different experience. At this level, it is going to seem as though this was the right person, and they might have the need to get back with them. Conflict Based on what has taken place between them, this is not going to be the best thing for them to do. Intellectually, this will be only to clear to them, but if they end up being overpowered by their emotions it won’t matter. They won’t be able to think clearly and this will then cause them to behave in ways that are not in their best interest. If they were to talk to a friend about what is taking place for them, it might stop them from doing something they will later regret. Caught Up Their friend can give them their advice and provide the clarity that they are unable to experience at this time. The reason they can do this is because they are not connected to what is taking place and so their emotions are not going to be out of control. Yet while this can be seen as the ideal, it might not matter what their friend/s say. One could ignore what they say and allow their emotions to define how they behave. Reaching Out One could end up trying to get in touch with their ex and to see if they can meet them in person. Another thing they could do is to go to where they live or work and to try to have a conversation with them. This could be a time when they will be able to get through to them and to talk about how they feel, for instance. As a result of this, one could start to believe that there is the chance that they will get back together. Short-Lived However, one could soon be told that this is not going to happen, and that it will be best for them to move on. It is then going to be down to them to deal with how they feel, as the other person is not going to be part of their life in the same way again. From that point on, they may find that they don’t hear back from their ex again, and this could be hard for them to handle. And even if one wasn’t interested in getting back with their ex, they could still find that they no longer talk to them. Confusion If one could talk to them, they may believe that it will be easier for them to come to terms with what has taken place. It is then not that they want things to go back to how they were; they just want them to stay in their life. One way of looking at this would be to say that their ex is being selfish during this time and not thinking about one’s needs. After everything they have been through, it wouldn’t take a lot for them to be there from time to time. Another Angle Another way of looking at it would be to say that it is going to be perfectly normal for their ex to longer longer talk to them. If one treated this person badly, they are probably not going to want to be reminded of them. Yet even if one didn’t treat them badly, they might want to move on with their life and start a new chapter, so to speak. And if they were to continue to talk to them, it would stop them from being able to do this. Awareness Ultimately, their relationship with them will be over and it won’t be down to the other person to meet any of their needs. So, if one needs emotional support, it will be necessary for them to look towards a friend or even a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Boundaries: Does Someone Need To Embrace Their Feminine Nature Is They Find It Hard To Say Yes?18/2/2017
If one has boundary problems, they may end up hearing about how important it is to be able to say no. This could be a time when one will come across information that will talk about how they need to be assertive and to draw the line.
Through being able to behave in this way, it will allow them to fulfil their own needs and to protect themselves. On the other hand, if they are unable to do this, they will end up being walked over. A Door Mat It is then not going to matter if another person wants to take advantage of them, as this will take place anyway. For example, if someone asks them if they would like to do something and they end up saying yes, that will have been their own decision. It won’t be as if the other person has told them they need to do something and tried to force them. But even though this is the case, one could wonder why they said yes and feel as though they want to get away. Stuck And while one could face up to what has taken place, they could also end up blaming the other person. It can then be as if the other person made them say yes, and they can end up feeling like a victim. Therefore, whether they were asked if they would like to do something or forced to do something, they can end up having the same experience. As they are unable to stand their ground, it will probably affect just about every area of their life. Career When it comes to their job, the might only be able to get to a cetin level, and this can be because they are too easy going. The kind of assuredness that they would need to the next level is not going to be there. Or, if they have been able to make progress in this area of their life, it could be a challenge for other people to listen to them. They could see them a pushover and there will then be no reason for them to respect them. Personal Relationships As for what it is like with their friends and family, it might not be a lot better for them. When they are with their family, they might find it hard to express themselves and to be taken seriously. One could be seen as the one who doesn’t cause a fuss and is happy to go along with what other people want. This will allow one to please others but it won’t allow them to please themselves. Dating If this is what it is like with their friends and family, it is unlikely to be any different when it comes to their love life. When they spend time with someone, they could find that they give far more than they receive. This could mean that this part of their life is simply not very fulfilling, but it could be even worse than this. What this could come down to is that they may have been with people who are abusive. Undermined One can then be in a position where their mental and emotional health is affected through being around the wrong people and their body could also pay the price. And if this isn’t due to the stress they experience, it will due the result of being physically harmed. It is then clear to see why one would need to be able to stand their ground and to say no at the right moments. Through being able to do this, it will make it a lot easier for them to express their true-self. Balance One will then have the ability to say yes at the right moments and to say no at the right moments. This is not to say that they will always make the right decision; what it will mean is that they will have a choice. In the past, they would have only had one option and this is why their life would have been so difficult. Yet, if one was to go from one extreme to the other, their life would be just as bad as it was before. Cut-Off While it would have been a challenge for them to stand their ground before, this can be something that is no longer an issue. Before they will have let in too much, but now they won’t be able to let anything in. And although one can end up being this way after saying yes all the time, they could be how they have experienced life for as long as they can remember. If they are able to embrace life, it could be something that doesn’t happen very often. On The Outside If they were to reflect on their life, it could seem as though they are on the subs bench looking over at the players who have been chosen to play. It is then going to be normal for their needs to go unmet, and they might have moments when they disconnect from them. As one is an interdependent human being, they are going against their own nature when they are unable to say yes. In order for them to function at their best, it will be vital for them to be able to open themselves up at the right time. A Closer Look What this can show is that their younger years were a time when they were taken advantage of, and this then caused them to close off from life. At this time, it could have been what kept them alive, but now that time has passed, it is simply causing them to suffer unnecessarily. The ability to embrace life and to receive can be seen as what happens when one feels comfortable with their feminine nature. When one is comfortable with their masculine nature, they will be able to stand their ground. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist. This will give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place and to move forward.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Boundaries: Does Someone Need To Embrace Their Masculine Nature If They Are Unable To Say No?18/2/2017
If one is asked if they would like to do something, they could end up saying yes. This could show that they actually want to do what the person has suggested, and there will then have been no reason for them to say anything else.
A Wonderful Experience This could then be a time when one will have a really good time, and once the experience has come to an end, they could end up going over what happened. It will then be only too clear that they did the right thing by saying yes. One could even think about how they would have missed out if they had simply said no and carried on with what they were doing. They wouldn’t be feeling as they do at this time and it would have stopped them from having a great experience. Open To the World What this can show is that one is able to say yes to life, and to embrace the opportunities that come their way. It could then be said that one is in touch with their feminine nature and that they feel comfortable with this part of themselves. Through being this way, it allows them to receive; whereas if this wasn’t the case, they would probably keep everything at bay. One could then be someone who observes life and is unable to experience it. Closed Off What this could mean is that one will have moments when they will give, but that they will rarely have moments when they receive. Naturally, this is going to cause them to be out of balance. One may find that they often feel as though they are running on empty, and as though they live in a dessert. Their needs are rarely, if ever, going to be met, and so it is to be expected that their life will be a struggle. Drawing the Line Saying no is then not something that is going to be a challenge for them, but it is not going to make them happy. If they were able to not only say no but to say yes from time to time, it would allow them to embrace the other side of their nature. Their feminine nature would end up being embraced and this would allow their life to be far more fulfilling. And whether one is a man or a woman is irrelevant; as both sexes have the masculine and feminine within them. A Different Life When one experiences life in this way, their life is going to be radically different to how someone experiences life when they can accept both sides. Yet if they don’t understand why there is a difference, they could come to see other people as being different. This could then cause them to believe that someone like this is luckier than they are or more fortunate, for instance. If this was to take place, one could feel as though they have no control over their life. The Other Side It could then seem as though one is either able to take life in or they end up saying no most of the time. What can also take place is that one can end up saying yes practically all the time and this is going to be just as bad. Now, this is going to allow them to embrace life to a certain degree, but what it will also mean is that one is unable to protect themselves. They are generally going to be focus on doing what other people want (or what they think they want). Neglect The needs of others are going to come first and their own needs are typically going to end up being overlooked. Clearly, there is a time and a place to be there for others, but if this is the norm, it will cause one to suffer. There is the chance that one is not even aware of their own needs, and this is not going to be much of a surprise if they have been this way for a long time. They could end up believing that other people’s needs are their own. Walked Over One may find that there are times when saying yes won’t have a negative effect on them, and this will have a positive effect on their life. Even so, this could be something that doesn’t happen very often. What one could be used to is being taken advantage of by others, and this is going to make it hard for them to lead a fulfilling life. It could be as if other people don’t recognise them as being a separate person. Going Deeper If this is how one has experienced life for as long as they can remember, it can show that what took place during their early years is defining what is taking place in their adult life. When they were younger, they have been brought up by someone who didn’t respect their boundaries. One may have been seen as an extension of them, and this is then why they walked over them. If one spoke up about what took place and tried to stand their ground, they may have been abused and/or neglected. Disconnected Their masculine nature, the part of them that wasn’t willing to put up with this, had to be silenced in order for them to survive. If they didn’t do this, they would have ended up being harmed even more. Awareness So while this kept them alive when they were younger, it is now stopping them from being able to stand their ground and to be assertive. It is then going to be vital for them to embrace this part of themselves. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist. There might be emotional pain within them that needs to be dealt with and trauma.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
If one uses social media, they may have come across people who talk about how important it is to be tolerant. This could be something that has taken place through reading what people write and through looking at the images they have shared.
And, if one spends a lot of time online, this have may have been something they have comes across on numerous occasions. But even if they don’t use social media, it doesn’t mean that they will have missed out on this. Another Way This is something that they may have come across through reading the paper and/or watching the news. This is not to say that this source has told them that they need to be tolerant, as it could be something that typically takes place indirectly. For example, one may have read an article where someone spoke about how people need to be more tolerant of a certain group of people. If one was to think back to what they have read, they may find that it doesn’t always relate to the same group. On Campus In addition to this, this may have been something that one has been exposed to if they go to university/college. This could show that they are studying something that talks about the importance of being tolerant. If this is not the case, it might be something they have heard about through being part of a society. At the same time, this might not have taken place either, and one may have heard about it from other students. One Way One could then come to believe that they need to tolerate everything, and that to go against this would be the wrong thing to do. Through behaving in this way, one will be accepting other people’s views and behaviours. Now, this doesn’t mean that they have to accept what people come out with or how they behave. As one could find that they don’t always accept what someone says or how they behave; nevertheless, it will be important for them to be tolerant. The Next Stage For some people, this could be seen as the best way for human beings to behave. Said another way, if someone is an evolved human being, they will be tolerant towards people who have views and behaviours that are different to their own. Thus, if someone has tolerance, they can end up being seen as a moral person. And if they don’t, they can be seen as someone who is stuck in the past, and it will be vital for them to get with the times. An Analogy If someone was to say that women should stay in the kitchen, this is likely to cause them to receive a negative reaction from a lot of people. In the same way, if one was to be intolerant, it could also cause them to experience a similar reaction. This shows how being tolerant is not something that a lot of people are willing to overlook. Either someone behaves in this way or they might soon experience the wrath of these people. One Purpose When it comes to the people who will criticise them for being intolerant, this could be something they do on a regular basis. In their eyes, they could believe that it is their job to convert people who are not behaving in the right way. This is something that they can do online through using social media, and they can do it in the real world. It could be said that it will be far easier for them to do this online, and this is because this won’t requite a lot of effort. Confusion If one was to be criticised or even harmed for being intolerant by people like this, it could be hard for them to understand what is going on. After all, these are the people who talk about how important it is to be tolerant. What this shows is that their behaviour doesn’t match up with what comes out of their mouth. Another way of looking at this would to be to say that they don’t practice what they preach. Hypocrisy The people who talk about the importance of being tolerant are then going to be completely intolerant. If anything, they are trying to hide their intolerance through making out they are tolerant. As a result of this, the reason people who are intolerant cause them to experience such a strong reaction is because it reminds them of the part of themselves that they are not willing to face. This part of them then ends up being projected onto others, and they end up trying to change their own reflection. Avoidance Now, if they were to face themselves, it would cause them to experience pain and this would have a negative effect on them. But through disconnecting from themselves and projecting their issues onto others, it allows them to not only feel good about themselves; they can also delude themselves into believing they are morally superior to these people. It is then easy to see why someone would end up taking the moral high ground, as opposed to taking responsibility for what is taking place within them. So, instead of making the world a better place, they end up making it even worse. The Downside And while it can sound like a good idea to be tolerant, it could be said it is not this black and white. For one thing, if the people who are intolerant are tolerated, it won’t be possible for the people who are tolerant to exist. Ergo, in order for people to be tolerant, it will be necessary for the people who are intolerant to be dealt with in some way. If they are allowed to do what they want to do, there will be no such thing as tolerance. Conclusion This can be seen as one of the many things that can take place when someone doesn’t own what is taking place within them. Trying to control others is what happens when someone is unable to experience self-control In an ideal world, they would reach out for the right support and deal with their issues. This would stop them from trying to control other people, and it would then be a lot easier for the people around them (and online) to enjoy life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
When one has a history of bad relationships, the last thing on their mind can be to have another one. However, regardless of what they have been through, the need to be with someone is not going to completely disappear.
What can happen is that one can end up disconnecting from this need and the pain of what they have been through can define their life. As a result of this, it can seem as though they no longer have this need. The Past If one was to look back on their life, they could find that the relationships they have had have not been very fulfilling. Or, it could go even further than this, and they might have been abused. When it comes to the former, this is something that can cause them to feel frustrated; they could wonder why they should even bother. Yet, if they can relate to the former, they could feel as though it is not safe for them to be with someone. Normal Through having these kinds of experiences, it is to be expected that one would feel this way. If it happened on the odd occasion, it would be a lot easier for them to overlook what has taken place. But when it has happened so many times, it would have naturally had a far bigger effect on them. As far as they are concerned, this could be how they are always going to experience life. Hopeless One is then in a position where they have two choices: either they stay on the sidelines, so to speak, or they end up having the same experience all over again. It is then not going to be hard for them to make a decision. The first option is understandably going to be seen as the best way for them to stop themselves from being in a relationship that is not fulfilling, or to stop themselves from being abused again. Due to everything they have been through, they are not going to want to go there again. A Relief In the short-term, this is going to save them a lot of pain, and they might soon begin to feel better about themselves. But even if this doesn’t take place, they won’t have to see someone who isn’t right them. This could then be a time when they will be able to focus on other areas of their life. One could put more effort into their career and/or they could take the time to work on their fitness. Time Passes Still, if one was to come across other couples or spend time with friends who are in fulfilling relationships, they could start to get back in touch with their desire to be with someone. Through having these kinds of experiences, it will remind them of what they are missing out on. This could be something that fills their mind for a short time and then passes, or it could stay with them for a little while. Even so, one could end up finding something to take their mind away from this. Rising Up But sooner or later, one is probably going to find it hard to continue run away from this part of themselves, and it will then be necessary for them to do something about it. It will be only too clear that this part of them won’t go away. And once again, they could still end up doing what they can to find a way to distract themselves. When they do embrace this part of themselves, they are going to remember what took place in the past. Conflict One is then going to have to experience their desire to be with someone on one hand, and their need to avoid this area of their life on the other. It could then be said that it will be a good idea for one to look into what they can do to attract someone who is different. This might not seem like an option if one believes that they can’t do anything about what is taking place and they feel like a victim. It is then going to be imperative for them to realise that they do have control over this area of their life. One Part What one could do is to see if the relationships they have had bear a resemblance to what took place during their early years. And this is because it is often what takes place during these years that will have the biggest effect on their adult relationships. This can then be a time where they will need to question what they believe and there may also be emotional work that needs to be done. As this takes place, they may find that they start to meet people who are different. Two Parts Through changing their inner world and meeting people who are different, their outlook can gradually change. Nevertheless, there will be no reason for one to rush this process, as this could cause one to end up where they were before. When it comes to changing their inner world, they may need to work with a therapist. Through their support, it may allow them to go where they wouldn’t have gone by themselves, and they will offer their encouragement. Awareness If one has had a number of bad relationships, it will be a good idea for them to be patient and to go at a rate that feels right. And if one does know people who are in fulfilling relationships, they could see if they can spend time with them. This will give them real experiences to embrace, and these should have a positive effect on them.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Although some areas of one’s life can generally go to plan, there can be others that don’t, and this is something that can cause them to experience a lot of pain. For example, they could find that their career is going in the right direction, but that it hasn’t been possible for them to achieve the same level of success in their love life.
Or, one could have a good relationship and yet their career might not be going as they would like it to. It could be said that if one’s professional life is going as they want it to; it will be easier for them to overlook what their relationships are like. Focus This is because most of their attention will be consumed by their career and they won’t have much time to think about anything else. And, if they have a well paid job, they won’t need to worry about paying their bills. On the other hand, if they were to have good relationships but they didn’t have much of a career, they would have a lot of time to think about how they life is not going in the right direction. There is also the chance that they won’t have the money to buy what they need either. Distracted It is often said that when the mind has nothing to do, it will end up creating problems. So, through being in a position where one is busy with their career, there will be no reason for them to ruminate over their love life if it is not going well. When it comes to the end of each day and it is time for them to go home, this could be a time when they will think about it. But even if they were to do this, they could find something to keep their mind busy. Exhausted Due to how hard they work each day, they might not even have the energy to think about this area of their life when they finish each day. They could get home and have something to eat, and then they could go to sleep a lot of the time. Or, one could use this time to see if they can find someone to be with, and this could take place through using online dating. The amount of time they spend a work could stop them from having the time to meet people in other ways. Another Experience At the same time, one could find that even if their career is going in the right direction, it doesn’t mean they will be able to put their love life to one side. Instead, this could end up being something that will consume their mind. This could even end up affecting their performance, and it could then be a challenge for them to perform at their best. Therefore, although they will be at work and this is the only thing that will matter, their mind will be somewhere else. A Big Effect What this shows is that not everyone is going to be effected in the same way, and one is then not going to be able to simply carry on with their life. As this area of their life is not going as they want it to, it is going to have a negative effect on their career. It is then going to be vital for them to do something about it, so that it doesn’t destroy the rest of their life. But while one might look into what they can do to change their circumstances, this might not take place. One Response The reason for this is that one could believe that this is an area of their life that is out of their hands. And, if another person is in a position where they have a fulfilling relationship, it will come down to the fact that they are lucky. Ergo, the only way their life will change is if their luck changes and one is then going to have to wait until his happens. Based on this, one is going to be nothing more than an observer when it comes to this area of their life. A Big Difference However, while, one can have this outlook when it comes to their love life, this is unlikely to be the case when it comes to their career. If this area of their life wasn’t going well, they could believe that they could change it. Yet when it comes to their love life, this is not an approach that they are going to have. It will then be as if they have control over their career but they don’t have control over what takes place in their relationships. A Closer Look One way of looking at this would be to say that this is partly down to the kind of conditioning that they will have received throughout their life. They may have been brought up to believe that how well they do in their career spends on how much effort they put into it; whereas they could have been told that their love life is a random process. What also plays a part here is that during one’s time in the education system, they would have learnt about things that were designed to help them do well in the world. But what they probably didn’t learn about is how to have fulfilling relationships. Normal Thus, through having experiences like this and living in a society that doesn’t encourage self-awareness, there is going to be no reason for one to have a different outlook. The only way that one is going to let go of the outlook they have is if they start to educate themselves Awareness This is something that can take place through going online. There is so much information on here that goes into why people attract the people they do. When one looks into this, it could cause them to feel uncomfortable and they might get in touch with things that they would rather ignore. But the only their life is going to change is if they change; if they do the same thing, they will continue to have the same experiences.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone is attractive, it can be normal for other people to believe that they are intelligent, well-adjusted and successful, among other things. And, this is something that they can believe even if they don’t know anything about them.
This person’s appearance will then be what typically defines how other people perceive them. As a result of this, it is going to be a lot easier for someone like this to receive positive responses from others. Less Work When one is attractive, they can go out into a social environment and not have to put in a lot of effort. There are likely to be plenty of people who will notice them, and they might even end up approaching them. This could then be a time where one won’t need to say a lot and this is because these people can feel the need to do so much. But even if one was to say something and didn’t come across very well, this could end up being overlooked. Protected What this can come down to is that if one is elevated by someone due to how they look, this person can ignore anything that goes against what they believe. Therefore, one can get away with things that they might not be able to if they looked different. This is not to say that they will be able to get away with this forever, as there could come a time when their true nature will be all too clear. Yet, if one has a personality to go along with their looks, they won’t need to worry about this. A Choice Through having a big effect on others, it could be said that it will be down to them to decide if they want to be in a relationship. If they are around others, they will end up getting some kind of attention, and the same thing could happen if they were to stay in. The only thing one will need for this to take place will be to have a social media account, and they will get even more attention if they use internet dating. Due to the amount of attention they get on these sites, it could be as if they are a celebrity. Too Much When they first joined a dating site, it could have been something that caused them to feel overwhelmed. At the same time, this may have been something that gave then a huge boost, and they might have felt as though they have a lot of control. Time would then have passed and they would have got used to receiving so much attention online. This is not to say that it will no longer have an effect on how they feel about themselves, as they will be able go online whenever they need a mental and emotional boost. The Wheat from the Chaff Through getting so many responses on an online dating site, it can take a while for them work out who is right for them. They are bound to find that a lot of the people who contact them are not their type. Nevertheless, it is going to be better to be in a position where there are plenty of options, as opposed not having any at all. Through speaking to people online and those they come into contact with in the real world, it shouldn’t be hard for them to find someone to be with. One Experience Once they have found someone who they believe is right for them, they could end up getting together. This can then be a time when they will enjoy being with the other person and they will then be happy to see them again. After a while, they could end up being in a relationship with them and the rest will be history. If one was to look back on their life, they may find that they have had other relationships that were just as fulfilling. Another Experience On the other hand, one could meet someone who they believe is right for them and then as time passes; they could find that this is not the case. Instead, the other persons behaviour could completely change, and they could even be abusive, for instance. And, if one was to reflect on what their previous relationships were like, they could see that the same thing has occurred before. What one could then do is wonder why this is happening; especially as they have the right appearance. Confusion This could cause one to believe that they are simply unlucky, and the people around them could come to the same conclusion. Through living in a society that worships physical beauty, there is going to be no reason for them to have a different outlook. If one was this outlook, there is going to be nothing that they can do, and they will have to wait until their luck changes. One could also come to believe that they don’t look good enough, and it will then be necessary for them to improve their appearance. Another Angle However, even if one looks right, this doesn’t mean that this will allow them to find the perfect partner. Ultimately, the only thing it will do is allow them to draw people to them without putting in much effort. When it comes to the kind of person they will end up with, it is going to be a reflection of what its taking place within them. If they are not in a good place internally, it won’t matter how they look. Awareness There is going to be what is taking place in their mind and what is going on in their body. Looking into what they believe and the thoughts they have will be one part; another part will be to see if they are carrying emotional pain. It might be a good idea for them to reflect on what their childhood was like, as what happens during this time usually has a big effect on what someone’s relationships will be like when they are older. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When someone wants to relax, they could end up looking for a film to watch, and there are going to be a number of ways for them to do this. For one thing, one could go and watch something at the cinema.
This may then mean that they will have to wait a little while, and this could be because they will have to travel a little way away. But even if it was just the road, they might still have to wait for the next showing. Another Option What would be even easier is if they were to go online and to find something to stream on their device. Through doing this, they won’t need to go anywhere and neither will they need to wait. This is then going to make it easier for one to watch a film or a series whenever they feel like it. Even so, one may only prefer to watch something from time to time, and it is then not going to be something that will take over their whole life. Other Priorities Naturally, one is going to have things to do that are more important, and if they didn’t pay attention to these things, they would soon pay the price. There is going to be their career and what they will need to for this to go in the right direction. And, along with their need to eat right and to exercise, they might also have a family to look after. But if they haven’t got a family, there will be the time and effort that they will need to put into their relationships. Current Affairs When it comes to staying up to date with what is taking place around them and the world, it is going to be a good idea for them to spend a certain amount of time looking into what is taking place. Reading a paper or reading about what the mainstream media say online is going to be one way of doing this. What would be even better would be if they were to not only look into what is going on here, but to also question what they come across. In addition to this, one could look into what is taking place in the alternative media. Critical Thinking It might seem like waste of time to look towards this cruse of information when one can simply listen to the mainstream media. However, there are plenty of examples of when this source has lied and engaged in their own ‘fake news’. Thus, through looking at both of these sources, it will be a lot easier for one to find out what is true and what isn’t. Also, it can allow one to see if the mainstream media is trying to push their own agenda. A Balanced Life When one experiences life in this way, they are generally not going to neglect one area of their life. The time they spend watching actors portray certain roles is not going to take them away from the real world for very long. There is then going to be no reason for one to look up to these people and to see them as being inherently different. But if they were avoid reality by watching films; it might only take place on the odd occasion. A Tough Time During this time, they might be going through a challenging time in their life, and so watching films will help them to cope. And then after a little while, they will soon be back on their feet, so to speak. If they were to put an actor on a pedestal, this could take place after they have watched a film. This might then pass and they could gradually begin to see that there is no reason for them to see the actor in this way. A Distraction Nevertheless, while there are going to be some people who don’t allow themselves to get too caught up in what Hollywood has to offer, there are going to be others who allow them to consume their life. Films are not just going to be another part of their life; they will end up defining their life. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is why they exist in the first place; to stop people from paying attention to what is taking place in the world. When ancient Rome wanted to keep the people distracted, they laid on the bread and circuses. The Same Story Many years have passed since then, but actors and the films they are involved in serve the same purpose. When the populace are unaware of what is going on and allow their attention to be absorbed by entertainment, they are less likely to challenge the system. This is then similar to how a parent can give their child sweets or food to keep them quiet. And through keeping people busy, it will be business as usual for the people behind the scenes. Not Enough In the past, this would have been one of the main reasons why actors existed, but it could be said that this is no longer the case. Along with this, it is as if they now have to make sure that people support the right political party. This could be a sign that people are no longer willing to be distracted like they were before, and so they need another way to keep them occupied. One thing that stands out is that the majority of Hollywood actors have the same political views. A Closer Look One way of looking at this would be to say that this is because their outlook is the right outlook. Based on this, any sane human being would also support the same party or candidate. Another way of looking at it would be to say that not only are actors told what to say when it comes to making a film; they are also told what say when it comes to politics. And, if they are not willing to go along with what they are told, they could soon find themselves out of work. Conclusion So, while Hollywood actors can come across as though they live the perfect life, this can be nothing more than an illusion. In the same way that one can lose their job if they don’t behave in the right way, an actor can end up in the same position if they don’t tow the line. What this shows is how important it is for one to think for themselves, and to realise that actors are simply human beings. After all, Hollywood is not exactly known to be an area that attracts people who are mentally and emotionally sound.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was to finally get in touch with why they are here, they could soon do everything they can to change their life. What they have been doing for all this time might no longer interest them, and it will then be time for them to do something else.
At the same time, it might not be this extreme, and one could continue to do some of the things they were doing. As a result of this, it could be said that what they have been doing all this time has not been in vain. Preparation If anything, what they have been doing will have been what they needed to do to get to where they are now. There will then be no reason for them to look back on their life and to come to the conclusion that they have been wasting time. As if they were to go back and to try to do what they are about to do now, they may find that they are not ready. It would then be the same as a baby going back to when they couldn’t walk and trying to run instead of walk; it would be too much for them. Off Course When one was doing something else, it might have seemed as though nothing was happening and as though they were going in the wrong direction. This is not to say they knew which direction to go, but it might not have felt right. There could have been moments when one ended up feeling frustrated with the direction their life was taking, and they might have been other moments when they were able to let go and to trust in what was taking place. Either way, one is now going to be in a position where they can go to the next stage of their journey. A Process Yet, even if one was to get in touch with why they are here and to allow their actions to be defined by this, it doesn’t mean that their life is going to change overnight. Instead, there is a strong chance that this is something that will gradually end up defining their reality. However, what needs to be emphasised is what one is aware of what matters and they are doing something about it. For example, if one had a profession that didn’t reflect their true nature and they wanted this to change; they might have to back to college, for instance. Brick by Brick The actions they take will enable their life to gradually reflect who they are, and this is naturally going to be different to the kinds of actions they took before. In the past, they would have been taking action but this wouldn’t have been coming from the same place. During this time, they might have done something because they didn’t know what else to do, or they might have felt as though they didn’t have a choice. Their life might have seemed as though it just happened and they didn’t play a part Looking Back As the weeks, months and years pass, one is likely to look back on where they started and to realise that they did the right thing. If they continued to do the same thing, their life probably would have been even worse than it was. But while some people can end up getting in touch with why they are here and allowing it to define their life, there can be others who don’t. It is then not going to matter what is taking place within them, as it will end up being overlooked. To The Surface If they were to come into contact with this part of them, they could end up focusing on something else. This is then going to be similar to how someone can hear a noise and do what they can to block it out. One is not going to want to embrace what is taking place within them, and they will continue to experience life in the same way. Therefore, although this part of them wants to be heard, it is not going to see the light of day. One Step Further Alternatively, one could pay attention to this part of them from time to time, and think about what it would be like to live their truth, so to speak. They might even look into what they can do to make it a reality. But even if this was to take place, it might not go any further, and this could cause them to experience pain. As while the person above won’t allow themselves to embrace this pain, one will be aware of the fact that they are not living in the right way. Forward and Back In addition to thinking about what they want to do, they could even go further than this and take part in some kind of training. Or, if they don’t go this far, they could simply read a book that talks about what they want to do. Yet regardless of what they do, this will be as far as it will go, and one will go back to what they were doing before. After a while, this same process could take place all over again. Protection On way of looking at this would be to say that one lacks confidence, and that they need to work on their self-esteem. This could be the case, and if it is, one will need to build themselves up. What it might come down to is that one is carrying toxic shame, and this is why they do everything they can do avoid their purpose. Through doing something else, it can allow them to hide behind a role; whereas if they were to live their truth, it would mean that other people would see their true-self. Worthless And, if one feels as though they are worthless and that there is something inherently wrong with them, the last thing they will want is for other people to do this. Hiding behind a role won’t allow them to experience a fulfilling life, but it will stop them from having to get in touch with how they feel about themselves. What is taking place within them is going to be what is holding them back and, if one was to no longer play a role, they could believe that people will reject and abandon them. So, unless their inner world changes, they will continue to hide from their own purpose. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their circumstances, they might need to work with a therapist. This is unlikely to be something that will change overnight, but the sooner one does something about this the sooner their life will change.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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