If someone pays attention to the mainstream media, they are likely to have read stories about racism and sexism. And the amount of stories that they have come across can all depend on the news sources that they pay attention to.
The reason for this is that there are certain publications that focus on these kinds of issues, while others don’t. One way of looking at this would be to say that there are only certain sources that give these issues the attention that they deserve. Identity Politics Another way of looking at this would be to say that there are certain publications that are obsessed with these kinds of issues. This is not to say that racism and sexism are trivial issues, far from it. What it comes down to is that due to what side of the political spectrum a publication leans, it can define how they perceive reality. Therefore, although a publication can talk about what is actually taking place in the world, it can also make up what is taking place. A Filter So, after someone has paid attention to a news source that is obsessed with racism and sexism, it can set them up to also have the same outlook. One is then not being informed about the world; they are being conditioned to perceive the world in a certain way. This is not the only way that this can take place, though, as someone can go to university and end up having the same outlook. If human beings could simply observe reality, this would be impossible. A Co-creator But as human beings play an active role in what happens to them and how they perceive reality, this is not possible. This doesn’t mean that if one experiences racism and/or sexism it is therefore all in their head. Clearly, this is not the case; if someone did have this outlook, it would be a sign that they lack empathy. They wouldn’t be putting themselves in this person’s shoes, which would cause them to invalidate their reality. The Other Side At the same time, if someone has been conditioned to believe that just about everything is racist and sexist, it is naturally going to set them up to see racism and sexism everywhere. As Abraham Maslow once said "if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail". This is then similar to how if someone is paranoid, they can believe that everyone is staring at them. Through being unable to embrace the present moment, what is taking place within them is defining what they see. Both Ways Not only is this conditioning going to affect how someone interprets what happens to them, it is also going to affect how they interpret what happens to other people. Thus, instead of taking the time to look into what has been said, their mind could be made up. It is then not going to matter if what someone has said or done is actually racist or sexist, as it will be interpreted in this way. When this happens, one is not using their mind; they are behaving like a programmed machine. Pavlov’s Dogs For months or even years, one will have been conditioned to see the world in a certain way, and this is going to stop them from having to think. What this will then do is save them energy - but what it won’t do is allow them to think critically. Yet, even though they won’t be using their brain, they can end up believing that they have the moral high ground. This comes down to the fact that one will be doing something about the ‘injustice’ in the world. Poison Coated In Sugar But if they have been conditioned to believe that just about everything is racist and sexist, it is clear that they are being taken advantage of. In a way, it is as if these sources are selling mind viruses. What allows these sources to administer these viruses so easily is partly due to how they are presented. By creating the impression that they are simply presenting what is taking place in the world and that they want to put an end to injustice, it allows them to control some people. Divide and Rule And through encouraging people to fight amongst themselves as opposed to working together, it keeps them distracted. It then ends up being about how different people are and not about what people have in common, regardless of what they look like, what their sex is, or even what political party they support, for instance. Ultimately, everyone lives on the same planet, and this is something that needs to be looked after. Yet, if so many people are using their energy to fight each other, it is going to mean that there is a lot less energy to focus on the real problems. Conclusion What this shows is that someone can’t accept something just because it has come from the mainstream media or the education system. It is essential that they use their ability to think critically. And if they find this hard to do, then this is something that they can learn. This will take effort, of course, but it will make it easier for them to protect their own mind and to get along with their fellow human beings.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
0 Comments
Relationships: Do Some People Only Have Relationships With People Who Will Make Them Look Good?12/11/2017
It could be said that thanks to social media, how someone looks is even more important than ever before. The average person can feel the need to look their best regardless of if they are in the real world or online.
Fortunately, it can be relatively easy for someone to look their best online, and this is because they can edit their pictures. One can make sure that they have a good profile picture and, when it comes to the rest of their pictures, they can often define what ends up on their profile. Two Parts At the same time, it might not be accurate to say that this is all about looking smart, for instance, as there is often a greater focus on the need to be attractive and desirable. What this then means is that someone can feel as though they look right or they can feel as though they don’t. And even if one is classed as being physically attractive by others, it doesn’t mean that they will have the same outlook. As a result of what they have been told throughout their life and what they say to themselves, they might believe that they are not attractive. A Random Process But regardless of what one looks like, it is not going to be as if they have chosen to look as they do. This is then why it can be hard to understand why someone’s value is often defined by what they look like. If this person had worked hard to look as they do - in the same way that one can work hard to develop a certain skill - then it would be different. Yet even though human beings of all ages are generally drawn to beauty, it is still possible to see how bizarre it is to attribute more value to someone based on how they look. A Reason It would be easy to say that this shows how shallow some human beings are, and that they need to get in touch with their heart more as this will allow them to see beyond how someone looks. But if this outlook is put to one side, it can allow one to see that there is a reason why human beings are often so concerned with how someone looks. What this comes down to is that when a woman is classed as being physically attractive, it is usually due to the fact that she is showing signs of fertility. It is then not that she just ‘looks good’; it is that there is a strong chance that she will be able to produce healthy offspring. A Different World And when a man is tall, has broad shoulders, and is physically well built, for instance, it also sends a woman the message that he will be able to look after her and her offspring. Nowadays, due to advances in medicine and as the world is a lot safer than it used to be, it is no longer as important for a woman and a man to have these traits. Even so, as this was not the case for many, many years, it is not a surprise that these traits are what still press all the right buttons in both men and women. This is not the only reason why one would be drawn to someone who looks good, though. Two Levels On top of what is taking place at a more primal level, there is what can take place at an emotional level. How one feels about themselves is going to have a big effect on the kind of people they are drawn to. When one doesn’t feel good about themselves, it can cause them to end up with people who they are not completely attracted to. They might appreciate their personality, but that will be as far as it will go. The Other Side Conversely, one could end up only being drawn to people who are physically attractive, or people who are high up in the world. This is likely to show that they have disconnected from their true feelings and ended up creating a false-self. Deep down they will feel worthless, and this is then why they need to be around people who will allow them to feel better about themselves. Through identifying with these people, one will be able to feel good about themselves. A Loss of Boundaries Therefore, it is not that one is separate form these people; it is that these people are an extension of them. And as one is attached to the people who have value, it is taken to mean that they also have value. Naturally, if one was to identify in this way to people who are not classed as physically attractive or who are not seen as being successful, this wouldn’t happen. Instead, one would probably have to face how they feel as a deeper level. A Closer Look There may have been a point in their adult life when they were shamed in some way, or this may go back to what happened when they were younger. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused. The love that they needed in order to develop in the right way wouldn’t have been provided, and this would then have caused them to believe that they were worthless. Creating a false-self would not only have been a way for them to feel better about themselves; it would also have been a way for them to survive the pain of being treated so badly. Awareness At this time in their life, it wouldn’t have been as if they had plenty of options to choose from. Time has then passed but they haven’t been able to step back and to do anything about what is taking place within them. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of things that human beings need in order to survive, and the same could be said when it comes to their ability to thrive. For example, food is something that everyone on this planet needs.
If someone doesn’t receive the food that they need, their time on this earth will soon come to an end. However, while intimacy is something that can allow one to thrive, they can still live without it. It Is Not the Same They will still be able to function; it won’t be as if their life will suddenly come to an end. But even though they will still be able to live, their life is not going to be as fulfilling as it would be if they experienced intimacy. On the outside, it might seem as though they are just like anyone else, yet that will be as far as it goes. When it comes to what their inner world is like, it could be as if they are no longer alive. A Deep Yearning One could spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to be able to connect to their fellow human beings. Their heart is going to have the desire to express itself, and to be around others who are the same. That will be as far as it will go, though, and this could mean that they will feel as though their life is empty. As a result of this, it won’t matter what they have achieved or what they have attained. Out of Touch Alternatively, they might not even be aware of this need, and this could be because they do everything they can to avoid how they feel. So, even if they do become aware of their need to open up to others and to experience deeper connections with their fellow human beings, it won’t matter. The pain that they experience through ignoring this need could be channelled into another area of their life. This may have allowed them to become highly successful, at least in their career. The Priority And as this is often seen as the only thing that matters in today’s world, it can allow them to receive a lot of positive feedback from others. One can then be running away from themselves but these people are not going to realise it. This is not to say that they won’t share their body with others, as this could be what generally happens. Physically, they will connect to another human being, but that will be as far as it will go. It’s Easier While this means that they will be getting naked, it is going to be more comfortable than it would be if they were to open their heart. When it comes to the people in their life, they might just share their views and what they have been up to. Now, if one is able to experience intimacy, they might find it hard to understand why someone would be this way. They could start to think about how lonely their life would be if they only shared their mind and body. Normal This could be a sign that they have more or less always been able to experience intimacy with others. There may have been moments when they ended up being hurt by opening their heart to others, but this wouldn’t have had a lasting effect on their behaviour. The moments they have had when they haven’t been hurt will overshadow the moments when they have. On the other hand, when one is unable to experience intimacy or is simply out of touch with this need; this is not going to be the case. A Different Meaning Throughout their adult life, they may have been with a number of people who harmed them in some way. Conversely, if they haven’t let anyone into their life as an adult, what happened when they were younger will probably have had the biggest effect. This could have been a time when it wasn’t safe for them to open up and to be vulnerable; if they were to do this, they may have experienced even more pain. As a result of this, this would have set them up to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to open up. A Big Effect This would have set them up to experience inner conflict, but this would have been a time when they didn’t have much choice. Ultimately, the need to survive is far more important than the need to experience intimacy. Consequently, if one was brought up in an environment where it wasn’t safe for them to open their heart, it is going to be normal for them to behave in this manner as an adult. The experiences that they had during their early years would have caused them to experience trauma and this would have stopped them from being able to develop boundaries. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give the chance to look into what is taking place within them and then to work through it.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It has been said that in order to define what someone believes about the world, the only thing that the mainstream media needs to do is gain their attention. And once they have their attention, they can define what they focus on.
Someone can then see something once and it can end up going straight into their mind, thereby having an effect on what they believe. When this takes place they won’t have spent much time thinking about what they saw, but it will still have an impact on their life. Less Effort What this shows is that the mainstream media doesn’t need to worry about if what they are presenting matches up with reality. The only thing they need to do is to make sure that they are the source that shouts the loudest. Now, this is not to say that this approach will always work, but there are going to be plenty of instances when it does. This is then similar to what can happen when a child plays up at school. Another Environment Here, a child can end up causing problems in class, and this will allow them to receive more attention than the children who are behaving themselves. Therefore, even though the other children will be behaving, they can soon fade into the background. It then doesn’t matter how well they are behaving, as the teacher’s attention will be on the problem child. In this case, the child is literally making the most noise, and this is why they are being given the spotlight. Two Things When it comes to the former, it shows that just because something is in the public eye, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is the truth; it is simply what is being given exposure. And there is a lot that could be said in regards to why one thing is being given attention and another thing isn’t. When it comes to the latter, it shows that even though someone is being given attention, it doesn’t mean that they deserve it. In moments like this, children are being taught that it pays to misbehave. Another Area In recent years, a lot has been said about how women are treated in today’s world, and this is often put down to rampant “misogyny”. Then again, it would be inaccurate to say that this relates to women from all over the world, as the people who focus on this often overlook what is taking place in the Middle East and Africa, for instance. For some people, this is something that consumes their attention from time to time and, for others, this is something that is more or less always on their mind. If someone does focus on this all the time, their whole identity could be based around putting an end up this behaviour. The Outcome What this can then do is cause this person to believe that they are a morally superior human being. Through being this way, it can be as if they have every right to lecture other people, and that it is down to them to change the world. As a result, someone like this can end up alienating large parts of their audience, yet this doesn’t mean that they will be able to see why this is taking place. Instead, this can end up being put down to misogyny, or even “internalised misogyny”. A Cover Up When someone like this ends up losing it and acts like a hysterical child, it can be hard to take them seriously. They are the ones talking about how much hate there is for women and yet, they can appear to be full of hate themselves. One then has to wonder if the reason why they see so much hate around them is due to the fact that they have so much hate within them. The world is, after all, simply a reflection of what is taking place within us. Its Missing But if someone like this is running away from their true feelings and is focused on what is taking place externally, it is not going to be possible for them to realise this. Self-awareness is going to be the last thing that they want to develop. At the same time, this is not to say that some men don’t hate women, or that some women don’t hate themselves. The trouble is that as there has been so much attention given to the hatred of women, it has meant that the hatred of men has largely been overlooked, at least in the mainstream. Out of Balance But, as this is something that has dominated public discourse for so long, it is not much of a surprise. So much attention has been given to the problems that women face that it is as if men have it easy. Men are then these godlike figures who can handle anything, whereas women are often portrayed as helpless victims. Along with this, men are often dehumanised, which makes it easy to overlook their needs and to treat them badly. Back To the Start If, on the other hand, less attention was given to what some women are going through, it would allow more people to realise that there are plenty of men out there who are also suffering. And what might also stand out during this time is that it is often the women who talk about how oppressed they are who are actually the least oppressed. But in the same way that the naughty child receives the most attention, these kinds of women are able to receive the most attention by making the most noise. And thanks to social media, it is relatively easy for them to receive the attention they desire. Conclusion What also plays a part here is that men are programmed to please women; their genetic survival depends upon it. With that aside, what this emphasises is how important it is for someone to look into why they are drawn to a certain cause. If they were to do this, they may begin to see that the experiences they have had throughout their life are stopping them from being able to see clearly. And if they were to make peace with their past, it might allow them to have a more balanced outlook.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
On one hand, there is what one says and, on the other, there is what they actually do. Now, while it is easy for one to say something, it is not as easy for them to actually do what they say.
It is for this reason that it is often said that actions speak louder than words, and this is then why someone shouldn’t pay too much attention to what another person says. However, even if someone realises this, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be caught out from time to time. Looking Back If one wanted to say something in the past, they would have needed to have been in the company of at least one or on the phone. Nowadays, one no longer needs to be with another person and neither do they need to be on the phone in order for this to occur. Thanks to social media, the only thing that one needs is to have some kind of device, and this will give them the ability to speak to other people. This can include their so-called ‘friends’ and people they don’t know. A Bigger Challenge When one says something to their ‘friends’, and this could take place through sharing a status, it might only be a matter of time before they need to back up what they have said. This is not to say that every person on their friends list will want to see the evidence, but a number of them probably will. Yet when it comes to the people who they don’t know, it is going to be a lot harder for them to find out if one is actually following through with what they say. For example, if one is relatively famous, it is going to be a lot harder for people to find out if one is just putting on an act. A Facade Ultimately, social media allows people to present themselves however they want to present themselves. And how one comes across online can be completely different to what they are like in the real world. There are, of course, a number of ways for one to present themselves online, and they can even hide their true identity. Nevertheless, it is not uncommon for someone to come across as though they are a virtuous human being. It Is Effortless This can take place though the articles and videos that they share, and there can be what they talk about. In addition to this, one can also give themselves all kinds of different labels. These can be added to their profile to create the right impression, thereby allowing them look virtuous without having to even say or share anything. The labels that they use might not mean anything to the average person, but there will be plenty of people who understand them. Virtue Signalling But while someone like this can believe that they are a model human being who is making a difference, there are others who have a very different outlook. As far as they are concerned, these kinds of people are more interested in looking good than they are with doing good. Along with this, they argue that someone like this is simply going along with whatever will allow them to receive approval. It is then not that someone like this is really a virtuous human being, who believes in what they stand for; it is that they are attention seekers who lack a strong sense of themselves. An Analogy This is then similar to how a company can end up selling items that are good for the environment simply to make money. Therefore, it is not that they are selling them because they care about the planet; it is just that they want to increase their profits. It won’t stop there, though, as this company will end up creating the impression that they do care about the planet. This company is then saying all the right things, but it is nothing more than an act. Collectivism So, though creating the impression that they are holier than thou, it can allow them to receive a lot of positive feedback. One can also feel connected to other human beings, which might not have been the case before they behaved in this manner. They may felt incredibly insignificant before they were part of this movement, but now they can feel as though they are part of something significant. Their ability to think for themselves may also have been put to one side, that’s if it was ever there to begin with. Avoidance If one was to take a break from their moral crusade, they might start to experience guilt and shame. What this comes down to is that one of the reasons why they started to behave in this way to begin with could be due to the fact that they felt bad about themselves. By positioning themselves as being morally upright, they can displace their own issues onto other people. One can then delude themselves into believing that they are not the ones who need to look at themselves in the mirror - it is the people who have different views. Another Form of Abuse If someone like this was to turn their back on their need to look virtuous and took their pain out on people directly, it would perfectly clear that they have problems. But as they have hidden their pain by coming across as moral, it can be a lot harder to work out what is going on. When someone sees past their virtue signalling and their labels that they use, it soon becomes clear what is going on. This is then another mask that someone can wear to avoid their true feelings. Conclusion Ideally, someone like this would take a step back and reach out for external support. This would give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place within them and to work though this pain. If something like this was to take place, they might no longer need to prove to others how moral they are, and this would give them the chance to truly make a difference in the world. They could focus on doing things that will change the world as opposed to simply saying things.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When I was having hypnotherapy towards the end of 2012, I was told we were all nothing more than a conversation in our head. As a result of this, the way for me to change my life would be for me to change what was taking place in my mind.
I remember hearing this and being amazed at what I had heard, and then I started to think about how easy it would be for me to change. Up until this point, I had had energy healing, worked on my beliefs, looked into what took place before I was born and observed my inner processes, and this had only got me so far. I Thought This Was it In the beginning, I started to notice a difference; I thought that this person knew what they were talking about. I wasn’t on board with everything that this person said, though, as I felt invalidated at times. I would speak about what I had gone through as a child and that I found it hard to let go, and what I said was often dismissed. I thought that this was someone who couldn’t relate to what I had gone though. A Different Upbringing This wasn’t much of a surprise as they had told me that their upbringing was completely different. Yet, while I did feel invalidated at times, I continued to work with this person. As far as they were concerned, I could just let go of the pain within me by putting it into a draw or cutting a cord, amongst other things. Yet, the pain within me wanted to be acknowledged, not covered up and avoided. This All Changed I was in a lot of emotional pain and this pain got ever worse after a relationship came to an end in the beginning of 2013. It was around this time that I heard about the ‘emotional body’. In a way, this was when everything fell into place as it was clear that focusing on my mind was not working. The trouble was that I had heard on numerous occasions how my thoughts created my feelings. A Half-Truth In reality, this was not the complete truth, and this was something that I later read about in Tian Dayton’s books. The other part of this was that my thoughts could also trigger emotional pain/trauma that was trapped in my body. When this emotional pain came up to the surface, thinking positive and observing my mind didn’t do much good. It became clear that it wasn’t all in my mind and believing this had made things even worse. Not a Surprise But as it is human nature to avoid pain and, let’s face it, the western world is all about avoidance, I wasn’t surprised that this outlook was so common. Through focusing on the mind, someone can avoid what is taking place in their body. Changing our beliefs and thoughts is a lot easier than going into our body and embracing what is taking place there. After I had been working through the pain in my emotional body, I came to see that I was only getting so far. The Need to Be Loyal When I was working with a therapist called Vijay Rana in 2015, I said that I felt the need to be loyal to my father. During this time, he said that something called family constellations might help with this. Interestingly, not only had I heard about this while I was on a course at the end of 2009, I also had had this type of therapy saved on my phone. I soon realised that it was not just what was taking place within me that was holding me back; it was also what was going on around me, in my family system. Weighed Down I reflected on my life and saw that I wasn’t living my own life; I was living a life that was nothing more than continuation of my ancestors. And by this I mean my mother and father, and other family members. What helped me to realise that I had the need to be loyal to my father was when I read a book called Guy Corneau - Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity. Vijay was the therapist who asked me if I ever cried and to see if I could do this when I was by myself. A Number of Things So, there was processing the emotional pain, crying out the grief that was within me, and dealing with my need to be loyal. As time passed, the emotional pain within me was no longer as strong and my need to be loyal started to subside. The trouble was that I was still carrying a lot of trauma, and what I had done up until this point hadn’t really deal with this. When I say trauma, I mean the fear, anxiety and general edginess that I was experiencing. One Direction I would often feel as though I was in a war zone, and I didn’t know what I was going to do to about it. There was the mental level, the emotional level, and then there were the entanglements that I had to my family, and focusing on these aspects hadn’t done it. I ended up trying something called somatic experiencing and this wasn’t bad, but I soon moved on. Soon after this, my attention was drawn to someone called Bessel van der Kolk again, and this was a time when I heard him talk about something called Neurofeedback. The Next Step I felt that I had to try this; I was at a point where I was finding it hard to function. Fortunately, this was highly effective, which meant that I started to feel at peace for the first time in a very long time. Neurofeedback is a form of brain training that can train the brain to function differently. When I think back to this moment, I remember that I was amazed that I had finally found something that would settle me down. It Didn’t End There But while this had settled me down, I could see that I was still carrying trauma in my body, and there were moments when I would feel completely worthless. Fortunately, I came across a healer/therapist called Ben Ralston and, shortly after this, I found out about a technique for healing trauma. Through working with Ben, I was able to let go of a lot of trauma, and it was at this time that I came to see that there are healers out there who are the real deal. The technique for healing trauma was called Total Release Experience (TRE), and I was blown away by how effective this was.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that in order for one person to have a relationship with another person, they will need to be able to relate to them as another human being. If they see them as being above or below them, it is going to make it harder for them to truly connect to them.
When it comes to the former, one will have elevated the other person to a superior position and, when it comes to the latter, they will have lowered them to an inferior position. One is then either going to have less value then this person or they will have more value than them. Part of Life Now, it could be said that we live in a world where not everyone has the same value, and that there are always going to be moments when one comes into contact with people who have more or less than they do. What will play a part here is how much money someone has, what they look like and how intelligent they are, amongst other things, as well as the environment they are in. Yet, even if someone is perceived as having a lot of value at one point in time, it doesn’t mean that this will be the case at another. This could mean that they no longer have as much money or it could come down to the fact that they no longer look the same. Acceptance However, just because one will come into contact with someone who has more value than they do, at least externally, it doesn’t mean that they have to feel as though they are less-than they are. If one is in touch with their own inherent value, it will be a lot easier for them to feel good about themselves. And through being this way, there will be no reason for them to look down on the people who have less value than they do, at least externally. This can be seen as the difference between material value and spiritual value. Same Sex Relationships If a man wants to have a fulfilling relationship with a woman or have something more casual, it is going to be vital for him to be able to treat her like a fellow human being. As if he can see her as just another human being, it will allow him to be himself. The woman who he is with will then be able to appreciate him for who he is; whereas if he was to act differently, this is not going to happen. Instead, a woman would either look down on him. Slightly Better If, on the other hand, a woman was to look up to a man and to put him on a pedestal, it could be said that the man will have all the power. This is unlikely to lead to a relationship that is particularly functional, but then, this could be what feels comfortable for them. What is taking place at a deeper level is likely to be defining this area of their life and, unless they deal with what is taking place here, it won’t matter what is taking place in their mind. This is why someone can end up in an abusive relationship even though this is the last thing they want. Out of Balance When this doesn’t take place and he puts a woman on a pedestal, he is going to be more like her son than her partner. Which means that she is unlikely to respect him; if anything, he will probably be seen as being weak. The woman could find that she can no longer put up with this and leave or she could simply use the man. If he is in a good position financially and/or has high social status, for instance, she could end up staying around. Abuse This is likely to mean that her heart won’t be connected to the man, but another part of her will be attached to what he can provide. If the man finds the woman attractive, he might be willing to overlook what is going on. Or, he could be so caught up in what she looks like and how she makes him looks that he is not even aware of the fact that he is being used. In this was to occur, it could be said that he doesn’t value himself. Out of Touch with Reality But regardless of whether a man is in this position or if he just elevates women in general, it is likely to show that he is out of balance. If he is with a woman who is using him, it is clear that he shouldn’t be putting her on a pedestal; after all, she is taking advantage of him. So, if he could come to his senses, he would soon be able to see that this woman is immoral. But even when he acts in this way towards a woman who is not immoral, he is still unable to see her as another human being. Projection When it is not possible for someone to see another person as they are, it is likely to show that they are projecting their inner world onto them. In this case, it may show that a man is seeing the parts of himself that he hasn’t developed yet in the woman. This is going to be something that takes place without too much effort, and this is largely due to the fact that a woman is physically an expression of the feminine. It is then not going to matter if a woman has developed her feminine traits, as a man can see her as nurturing, supportive and loving. Its Missing On the inside, then, a man can find it hard to feel supported, loved and nurtured, and this is likely to mean that he hasn’t been able to integrate the feminine aspect within him. Therefore, through being out of touch with his inner feminine, it sets him up to believe that he can only experience these things through being with a woman. Ultimately, a woman is simply mirroring back what he needs to embrace within himself, and until this takes place, it will be normal for him to see women in the same way. A man, just like a woman, has both the masculine and the feminine within them. A Closer Look The traits that this man is looking for in a woman can be found within him, but this is something that is not going to happen directly. There is the chance that this man didn’t receive the love, support and nurturance that he needed from his mother. As a result of this, his inner feminine would have ended up being covered up by trauma, which would have caused him to feel as though he was missing something. Thus, once this pain is out of the way, it will allow him to become a whole human being. Awareness This doesn’t mean that he will no longer have the desire to be with a woman; what it means is that he won’t feel incomplete. Consequently, he won’t need as much, and this will then enable him to be himself and it will stop him from being needy. If a man can relate to this, and he wants to change his life, it might be a good idea for him to work with a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
To book your 15-Minute Introductory Consultation, click here.
Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
My Books...
|