What someone may find is that they have the inclination to keep their challenges to themselves, and perhaps they have been this way for as long as they can remember. They may believe that sharing what is going on for them would make them look weak or incapable, for instance.
Therefore, even though they will be an interdependent human being, they will act as though they are completely independent. Keeping everything to themselves is likely to make their life harder than it needs to be.
So if they do have people in their life, it is going to be hard for them to know if one is going through a challenging time. One will, ultimately, be carrying all of their weight by themselves.
Alternatively, one may keep certain things to themselves, believing that something bad would happen if they were to open up about these things. Once again, this will cause them carry a lot of weight.
If they were change their approach and started to open up, they would most likely find that their life gets easier. By sharing what they are going through, they may end up feeling a lot lighter.
And even if one keeps certain things to themselves, they could still feel as though a weight has been lifted from their shoulders after they have opened up about these things. Getting what they have hidden out into the open can also allow them to gain a different perspective and to feel more integrated.
If they were their own island, there would be no need for them to share what they are going though with others. They would be totally self-sufficient and opening up to others wouldn’t do anything for them.
Still, this is not to say that one should just open up to anyone; it will be important for them to find the right people to open up to. These will be people who won’t judge them and who will be able to keep what they tell them to themselves.
A Shared Experience
What they can also find is that what is troubling them is also troubling another person or it may have troubled them in the past. Opening up will then allow them to realise that they are not the only one who is going through what they are going through.
This can take away a lot of the pressure that they are experiencing and it can even take away some of the shame that they may be experiencing. And if they can see that they are not the only one who is going through something, it can be a very liberating for them.
If one typically keeps things to themselves and they don’t feel comfortable talking to the people in their life, for whatever reason, it may be a good idea for them to reach out for the support of a counsellor or a therapist. The skills that they develop in this safe environment can then be transferred into the real world.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.