“A Relationship Shouldn’t Stop Us From Realising We Are Alone”

I have often thought that even though I can say something to someone, it doesn’t mean that they will actually hear what I’m saying. Or to be more precise, they can hear the words that come out of my mouth, but that might be as far as it will go. 

Due to the experiences they have had on this planet and what certain things mean to them, for instance, the message I was trying to convey may have gone straight over their head. Therefore, even though we spoke the same language, it can be as if was speaking a different language.

A Unique Experience

This is why it has been said that every human being on the planet, no matter what language they speak, is having their own experience on this planet. The words we speak and even some of the experiences that we have may cause us to believe that this is not the case, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are all alone on this planet.

Even so, it doesn’t mean that every human being on the planet will accept this and won’t try to lose themselves in other people – or another person. The purpose will then be to deny the fact that they are alone and to do everything they can to merge with others.

A Recent Conversation

What made me think about all this was when I spoke to Ben Ralston, who is a therapist and trainer of therapists, healer, advanced Sivananda Yoga teacher, and writer. We were speaking about security, and he said that money and relationships are two areas were we often look for security.

He went on to say that we come into the world by ourselves and that we leave the world by ourselves. But, although we are alone during our time here, it is not uncommon for people to try to do everything they can to deny this.

Boundaries

One thing that stood out was when he basically said that, a relationship shouldn’t stop us from realising we are alone. When someone doesn’t lose themselves in another person, they will be able to see that they are an individual as opposed to an extension of the other person.

An individual with their own experience on this earth, and, while another person might be able to meet them half way, they won’t be able to become one with them and to fully share their experience. Both of them will have their own life to live on this planet and their paths could branch off at any time. 

An Escape

When someone doesn’t want to be with themselves and to accept that they are alone, it is highly likely that they will always be in a relationship. The main priority might not be to be with someone who is a good match for them; it might just be to be with someone who will allow them to avoid themselves.

One is then going to act as though they are part of the other person, even though they are physically separate from them and have their own reality. This will allow them to create the illusion that they are not alone on this planet and that the other person is experiencing life in the same way as them.

Final Thoughts

When this happens, one is likely to lose touch with their true essence and the reason why they are here. Their need to avoid pain will have taken over, causing them to be more like a dependent child than an interdependent adult.

What this can show is that they are emotionally undeveloped, and this is why they are unable to be with themselves. Physically they will look like an adult, but emotionally they may feel like an abandoned child.
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It can then be necessary for them to reach out for the support of healer or a therapist, for instance, so that they can heal the trauma that is within them. Perhaps their early years were a time when they were neglected.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk