No matter what area of life one looks at, there will be examples of abuse. And this can be abuse that is easy to spot and abuse that is more subtle in nature. There are some things that stand out more than others, but this doesn’t mean that what is not seen or recognised as abuse is any less severe.
This can relate to: situations in the work place; in personal relationships; behind closed doors in families and this can also include child abuse; between different countries and even the abuse that is directed towards the planet and animals for instance.
It is often said that abuse can be passed down from one generation to another. And what one experienced during their childhood, will be passed on their children and the people they come into contact with throughout their life. At the time of this abuse, the person who is being abused, experiences the pain firsthand and often declares to themselves that they would never do it to another person.
In some cases, this will go onto become a foundation of their life and something they will do their best to uphold. One will be mindful of how they are treating others and get the support and assistance they need to put an end to this pattern.
However, there are numerous other examples of people who were abused and yet go on to abuse others in ways that look identical or very similar. What this person went through and the pain it caused has not made a difference. As a result of this, the same style of behaviour takes place once more.
The Primary Cause
And although abuse can take place due to what happened to someone in their later life, in the majority of cases, it is because of what occurred in their childhood years. It is during these moments that will typically define whether one will go on to abuse other people or not.
Inner And Outer
The kind of abuse this leads to can vary, but it will take on some shape or form. It might even be directed inwards more than it is directed outwards; so one ends up abusing themselves more than they abuse other people.
It is possible for external abuse to be seen by others, as long as they are around to see it or if they can pick up on the consequences of it. Either through what the person communicates or based on their state of mind and how emotionally stable they are for example.
Inner abuse on the other hand, is not always something that can be seen externally. It can be covered up through many different defences and guises. There are lots of things that one can do that look normal and acceptable to others and upon deeper inspection, can be a sign of self abuse.
So through what happened to someone either through being abused as a child or in later life, they were made to feel some kind of pain. This could have been fairly painful at times and even extremely traumatizing at other times.
For some people it will be pain that is expressed outwards more than it is expressed in words. And for others, it will be expressed inwards more than it is expressed outwards. But this can depend on the context and how one feels for instance.
The Ideal would be for one to seek support through: a family member, therapist, healer or a support group for example. Through this support, one could release this pain from their body and in doing so; there would not be the need to keep the pain in or to express it through being abusive to others.
While this is the ideal, it is not something that usually takes place. What usually happens is that this emotional pain ends up being trapped in the body; simply because it is not safe for one to feel their pain and release it.
Mind Over Body
In order for one to deal with the abuse that is being directed towards them, they can end up being cut off from the feelings and emotions into their body. Not only might it not be safe to express how they feel, it can also be too overwhelming to feel it.
Feelings are rarely embraced for what they are; in some environments there will be feelings and emotions that are acceptable and ones that are not. The ones that are not acceptable have to be denied and they will stay in the body.
If one could express their feelings and go with them, they would be released from the body, instead of ending up being trapped there. But in order for this to take place, one would have to be in a healthy environment and not an abusive one.
These feelings and emotions then become trapped in one’s body. But just because they are no longer known to the mind, it doesn’t mean they are not having an effect. The more that these feelings and emotions build up, the more powerful they will become.
One can then end up acting in ways that they have no control over and are not even aware of. They are then not couscous human beings; they have become controlled by their own emotions and feelings. At first one can control them, but after while, one will end up being controlled by them.
These feelings and emotions will be tantamount to intruders or parasites and one will no longer be in control of what they do or don’t do.
Out Of Control
What is the right or the appropriate way to treat another human being is then irrelevant; as a body that is full of trapped emotions and feelings will overpower the mind. The body wants to release these emotions and feelings in order to return to its natural balance, but when this process doesn’t take place in a healthy way, it can lead to one expressing them in ways that are abusive.
It is perfectly clear that abuse of any kind of not right and the fact it is not right is not enough to stop abuse from taking place. Knowing something intellectually is one thing and it is something entirely different to know it at an emotional level.
When these trapped feeling and emotions are released from the body, one will not have the need to act them out or act them in. This process can take place through the assistance of a therapist or healer who will allow one to face them and then release them.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.