It doesn’t take much effort to notice how powerful and influential actors and actresses are in today’s world. And although they have had this power for a number of years; with the assistance of the mainstream media, this has gradually increased as time has gone by. One only has to go a film premier or to watch a film premier on TV, to witness how people are affected by them. They are often looked upon with reverence and awe. While it is clear that these people are human beings, to some people they are more than human and larger than life itself. Films People can have their favourite actors and actresses and this will mean that they are likely to watch the films that they are in. They can then become identified with the different roles that they play. Perhaps an actor plays the role of an all powerful super hero or someone who succeeds against the odds. Then there will be roles where they go through a certain kind of trauma and therefore become vulnerable or seek some kind of revenge. Identification And through indentifying with these roles, one will be able to vicariously experience a whole range of scenarios. Here one can have the chance to momentarily feel empowered and to have certain feelings validated. There will also be the chance to express anger or to seek revenge without any consequences. One can also experience what it’s like to be a success, to fall in love and to be admired. These are just some examples of what can be achieved through watching a film. It will often depend on where one is at in their life, as to what stands out and therefore what one identifies with at any given moment. Consequences Now, to watch a film and to become identified with a certain role or to vicariously experience something is neither negative nor harmful. It is a wonderful way to relax and to regulate ones inner tensions. However, it becomes a challenge and even unhealthy when one takes this one step further and one becomes obsessed with the actor of actress themselves. Just A Role No matter what role an actor or actress plays or how convincing they may be; they are still acting. And this means that they are human and have challenges and issues just like everyone else. What they have is developed a skill that is highly valued by society and as a result of this, they are often paid lots of money and receive high levels of respect and exposure. This also means that the roles that they play, although they may well be influenced by certain things in their life, are not who they are. This may sound logical or even obvious and yet emotionally this is not always understood. Projection And due to people seeing the actors and actress themselves as being the roles they play it can lead to projection. Here, one will project certain parts onto them and perceive them a certain way; regardless of if it is accurate or not. As the roles that they play are often of such power and importance; it could be said that projection is a fairly natural occurrence. So what one feels that they need, at a mental and emotional level, will be what the actor or actress is perceived to possess. Obsession And when one gets caught in projecting certain traits onto the actor or actress and doesn’t realise that they are just that and are therefore an illusion; it will often lead to obsession. Through becoming obsessed, it is allowing one to avoid their inner tension. Obsession is a defence mechanism and allows one to regulate their emotional pain. In the short term, the odd obsession here or there is unlikely to create too many challenges. One can watch a film and then feel obsessed for a few days after or even a few weeks. This is probably natural and how long it lasts will also depend on how self aware one is. Awareness If one has become obsessed with an actor or actress, it is important that one looks at what they are trying to avoid by being obsessed. And through this process, one can begin to see that what they had projected onto the actor or actress is often an illusion to begin with or something that they have yet to realise within themselves. This could require the assistance of a therapist, coach or a healer for example. Or it may simply be a case of one becoming aware of this tendency and choosing another option.
10 Comments
John Taylor
31/5/2015 05:53:29 am
I came across this post whilst trying to get my sanity back after yet another period of obsession together with a very detailed dream i had last night in which i was rubbing shoulders with Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Hollywood and in their homes .
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15/6/2015 11:37:42 am
Hello John,
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e.
15/7/2015 05:09:16 pm
I often find myself becoming obsessed with a person, mostly actors, sometimes it'll last a year or usually a few months. It normally starts with me watching them on a program, HBO, Netflix, doesn't matter and I then i venture onto the internet (which is at no fault) and look for all of the personal details I can find and I become obsessed. Of course at first it's quite pleasurable, I project the personality and values I find attractive onto that actor, but then it becomes painful and consuming, especially when I find out he's married or belongs to a religion I dislike. I never become obsessed with people I know, only ones that I know I could not ever meet. I actually feel the pain of heartache one would feel during the unrequited love process. When I feel an obsession quieting down it's incredibly relieving, but I know another one is on it's way. I believe I have some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder, but 9 years of therapy only left me with an in-depth knowledge of my therapist and his personal life, as he did most of the talking. Not sure what I should do to avoid these obsessions as I hate that I have them, and I have read that trying to avoid them will just make them worse, so perhaps indulging them is the only way? I would like to move passed this and actually be able to focus on real life relationships such as te one with my boyfriend who I love.
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23/7/2015 03:21:55 pm
Hello e,
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Ilona
23/9/2015 03:04:21 am
Oh, my glad I'm not alone. I'm in my later 20s and engaged thought I was to old for all this business but nope..been obsessing again I used to do it in my teen years was obsessed with Westlife as a kid too then actors like Viggo Mortensen I'm obsessed with Tolkien and the movies LOTR and the hobbit. But I'm absolutely smitten with someone from the new Hobbit film. He's gorgeous. I really admire him & his qualities more than I want to be with him he's gay & I know I've got no chance but I'm obsessed with being like him. We share similar traits and I'd probably find him adorable IRL. I don't want this taking over my life but I do find that he inspires me and I like that. Is this normal? Cheers.
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23/9/2015 03:42:37 pm
Hello Ilona,
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Jillian
6/1/2016 08:10:53 pm
This helped me a little. I always done the same thing with my obessions. I see a movie or show and become drawn to a character, usually a strong female lead. After rewatching the show or movie, I look into the actress' background and look up more shows, movies or etc and starting watching all of them over and over. Mostly the romantic scenes. It never feels like I want to BE the actresses or characters, it's more like I enjoying stepping into their lives. Fake and otherwise. I don't feel I can talk to anybody about it because I'm a girl who obesses over other girls which is always perceived as being sexual in nature when it's isnt. I don't fully understand it and I've tried to.
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8/1/2016 04:05:12 pm
Hello Jillian,
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katie
29/5/2016 06:26:11 am
This exactly me to!! It is also with main female leads.. But not in a sexual way, and I make up scenarios with them to live in there point of veiw..I also dont feel like I can talk to anyone and I never have .. But im glad im not alone
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29/5/2016 11:59:06 am
Hello Katie, Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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