There is a video online titled, ‘Could the Root Cause of Addiction actually be a lack of Connection?’, and this video posits that a lack of connection causes addiction. It also says that “not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but they can all be traced to a painful experience”.
After this, it goes onto say that, “we should stop talking about addiction altogether and instead see it as bonding”. And that, “healthy bonding includes relationships, connection to family, community and to self”.
It is then said that “the path to healing for addiction lies in genuine connection”, and that “if we can’t connected in this way, we will connect with anything we can find”. The video goes onto to talk about what happened after Portugal decriminalised all drugs, with the anti-drug budget being spent on reconnecting addicts with their community.
So, instead punishing addicts, they were offered help that they needed to get back on their feet. The amount of drug inducted deaths went down as did the amount of heroin addicts.
A Key Point
It then mentions that, “we accept them without judgment, whether they are using or not”. This is followed up with, “it is the flesh and blood friends that you have deep relationships with that satisfy the need for connection”.
It ends with, “who in our lives can we take a moment to reach out to today? And help heal the root cause of addiction?” The article ‘the opposite of addiction is connection’ is recommended at the end.
Based purely on what the video says and not looking at the article, it would be perfectly normal to come to the conclusion that human connection is the antidote to addiction. Therefore, if someone is addicted to something, this will change once they have more human contact in their life.
They will no longer be dependent on anything as they will receive what they are missing through the contact that they have with others. If, then, an addict is given the human contact that they are missing out on, their life will dramatically change.
The Next Step
Let’s say that one knows someone who is addicted to something, they could end up reaching out to this person. Through having watched the video, they will know that it is not just about being around an addict; it will be about them being fully present.
Thus, using their phone when they are around or mentally being somewhere else is not going to cut it, their whole being will need to be with them. The other person will be able to sense this, which will allow them to experience truly connect to them.
Thanks to ones presence, the other person will be able to receive what they are lacking – human contact. One may end up going to see this person a few times a week, and they may encourage them to get involved in their community.
This person will then go from someone who is hooked on something destructive, to someone who is able to let go of their addiction. The missing ingredient will then have been human connection.
Now, while this approach will work for some people, it is unlikely that it will be the answer for every addict out there. The reason for this is that while an addict will be missing human contact, there is also the chance that they are carrying a hell of a lot of pain.
And, it is unlikely that spending time around people who are present will cause this pain to simple disappear. Not only will this pain still be there, it may be hard for them to fully embrace human contact due to how shut down they are.
Taking this into account, saying that a lack of human connection causes addiction is not the complete truth. What backs this up is the fact that not every addict is isolated from others.
In this case, someone will have people in their life, but due to the amount of pain that they are in and the state that their mind and body is in, they won’t be able to embrace them and to receive their presence. What they may find is that it is far less painful for them to be hooked on something that it is for them to be around others.
The ego mind has the need to avoid pain and it is drawn to that which is familiar, with what is familiar being classed as what is safe. Taking this into account, being addicted to something can allow them to keep their pain at bay and it can be what is familiar.
Ergo, while someone can suffer through being addicted to something, a big part of them can be strongly attached to experiencing life in this way. Through having this attachment to their pain, they are going to need human contact and they are going to need to heal their pain.
And although it says that not all addictions are caused by abuse or trauma, it is hard to go along this statement. If might be more accurate to say that while an addict might say that they haven’t experienced any trauma, it doesn’t necessarily mean that this is so.
One thing that needs to be acknowledged when it comes to the mind is that it has the ability to forget things and, if someone experienced problems in the womb or when they were born, for instance, their mind won’t be aware of it. But, while the mind can forget, the body will be only too aware of what took place.
There is, of course, always the chance that the reason someone is in so much pain is because of what has been passed down to them ancestrally. The trauma that their ancestors were unable to resolve will then have been passed onto them.
If someone is addicted to something, a lack of human connection is likely to have been what caused them to be in pain. However, simply giving this person human contact is unlikely to resolve the trauma that is within them; their whole being may have also become hardened, stopping from being able to accept the love that is given to them.
What this means is that human contact probably won’t resolve the very thing that made them look towards things or substances instead of human beings. So, through having all this pain within them and being unable to regulate their own emotions, they could end up becoming dependent on others.
One can then go from losing themselves in things or substances, to losing themselves in people. If someone like this is given the human contact that they need and is able to heal their mind and body, there is a strong chance that they will be able to get back on their feet.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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