Anger: Can Someone End Up With Anger Problem If They Don't Feel Safe Enough To Fulfil Their Needs?

There are a number of emotional problems that are fairly common in today’s world, and it is hard to say for certain how common they are. Even so, this is not to say that each problem will receive the same amount of sympathy.
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For example, if someone suffers from depression, they may find that other people are generally sympathetic. However, if someone has anger problems, this might not be the case.

The Big Difference

One way of looking at this would be to say that this is to be expected, and this is because the former is less likely to cause the same kind of trouble as the latter. Having anger problems could cause them to be violent, for instance.

At the same time, it could be a challenge for people to spend time with someone who is depressed. Other people are not likely to feel threatened in their presence, but what they could find is that they feel drained.

Overt and Covert

What this shows is someone’s mental and emotional problems are going to affect other people in different ways. Still, what matters is that someone like this does what they can to move forward.

Not only will it make them feel better, it will also make it easier for them to keep other people around. If they don’t do anything about what is going on for them, they can end up suffering unnecessarily.

The Traditional Route

If one was in a position where they experience a lot of anger, they might believe that they need to learn how to manage their anger. It is then not going to be about looking into why they get angry, it will be about controlling how they feel.

One is going to be focused on the effect as opposed to the cause, and this is a common approach in today’s world. From the top to bottom, the focus is generally on managing symptoms but not on dealing with the deeper problems.

Drugged Up

Addtionally, one could end up being put on some kind of drugs, which will probably make it easier for them to function. What this won’t do, however, is allow them to deepen their understanding of themselves.

Nevertheless, if someone’s anger is out of control, they can just have the desire to settle down. What this will do is allow them to carry on as normal and to no longer lose control as much.

Going In Deeper

If someone was to take a deeper look into why they are experiencing life in this way, they may find it is due to an experience they have had. Perhaps one person treated them badly, causing them to feel violated.

This person would then have walked over them and this would have caused them to experience a lot of pain. In addition to feeling angry at the other person, they may also find that they feel angry at themselves for not doing anything.

A Big Impact

With this in mind, it will be important for them to work through how they feel and they might need to work on their boundaries. Once they have done this and they are able to stand their ground, there will be less chance of them being walked over in the future.  

What this will also show is that it is going to be perfectly normal for them to experience a lot of anger, considering what they have been through. But if this information is overlooked, it can seem as though they are acting in an irrational manner.

Another Reason

Then again, what they may find is that not only do they find it hard to say no and to stand their ground; they find it hard to assert themselves in just about every area of their life. Along with feeling angry, they can be used to feeling powerless and helpless.

It is then going to be incredibly difficult for them to fulfil to their own needs, so it is to be expected that they would be angry about this. If they didn’t feel angry about this, it would be important for them to find out why this is.

Information

Their anger is there to notify them of when they are not listening to their own needs. Therefore, to silence this part of their nature is not the answer; the only thing that this will do is to cause them to suffer even more.

So, as one has their own needs and they need to fulfil these needs to live a fulfilling life, it can be hard to understand why they would they are experience life in this way. What this can show is that at one point their life, they learnt that is wasn’t safe for them to exist.

A Closer Look

This is likely to relate to what took place during the beginning of their life, with this being a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Their whole being would have been traumatised at a time when they needed to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Thus, they didn’t get what they desperately needed; what they got what was the massage that the world was dangerous and that their life could end at ant moment. The years will then have passed, but what took place all those years ago will be defining their life.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.

The trauma within them will need to be released and, as this takes place, they will gradually feel safe enough to be on this planet. Dealing with the anger alone (the effect), without healing the trauma (the cause), is likely to be a complete waste of time. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk