While there are some people who are able to express every emotion on the spectrum, there are others who are stuck on one end of the spectrum. When this happens, it is not going to be possible for someone to be a whole human being.
This may mean that one is always ‘positive’, and that they are unable to experience emotions that would cause them to be ‘negative’. Or they might be in a position where they always feel down, and it is then not going to be possible for them to feel good.
It could be said that feeling good all the time is not a problem, and that feeling bad all the time is. Yet, while this might sound like an accurate assessment, it is going to be a sign that one is out of balance.
For example, it is through having the ability to feel ‘bad’ that one s able to appreciate feeling ‘good’. It is through being able to feel bad that one is able to realise that something isn’t right.
Ultimately, one’s feelings are there to give them feedback and guidance, and this means that they all have a purpose. However, when one is unable to embrace their feelings, it is going to set them up to experience problems.
One is then going to see themselves as someone who is always a certain way, and the people around them could have the same outlook. This is going to show that one is not in touch with their true self, and that they are caught up in their false self.
But if one has played this role for a long time, they might not realise that it doesn’t reflect their true nature. It is then who they are, and there is no reason for them to change.
If one is always easy-going, they might not be seen as though they have a problem. Other people could see them as someone who is easy to be around, and find that they don’t experience any conflict or ‘drama’ around them.
In the eyes of others, this could be who they are, and they might not even think about how this might be a role that they are playing. Yet, this could be a sign that one is cut off from one side of their emotional spectrum, or if they are not cut off, it may mean that they don’t feel comfortable expressing how they feel.
Alternatively, if one was always hostile, other people are generally going to see that they have a problem. When people are around them, they are going find it hard to relax, and they might start to feel angry.
There may be some people who realise that this is not who they are, but at the same time, there are going to be people who are unable to realise this. What this is going to show is that it is not possible for them to move beyond their anger.
One is then no longer someone who is angry from time to time; they are always angry. But even if someone doesn’t come across as hostile, it doesn’t mean that their anger is under control.
They could alternate between being calm and collected, and then have moments where they are completely out of control. One is then like a ticking time bomb who will explode at any given moment.
One way of looking at this would be to say that they are unable to manage their anger, and that they need to learn how to stay calm. When one gets angry, it can be a sign that they are being violated and/or compromised.
Their anger is there to let them know that something isn’t right and that they need to take action. Yet, just because one feels angry, it doesn’t mean that they are being violated and/or compromised; what it could mean is that they are holding onto the past.
Although what took place is over, one is still responding in the same way, and this is why they are unable to be present. The present moment is being filtered through what took place in the past.
While there may be moments where they are able to experience others emotions, they are generally going to experience anger. On one side, one could learn how to manage their anger, and on the other, they could look into why they feel so angry.
Through experiencing anger, one will be able to experience a sense of control, but if they drop their anger, they will lose their sense of control. This is because they will have to face how they feel at a deeper level.
Once they get in touch with how they feel, they may end up feeling powerless, and this is going to relate to a situation in their life where they experienced some kind of loss. This could be something they have experienced on a number of occasions.
A Normal Reaction
And as they experienced loss, it would have been normal for them to experience anger. This may relate to what took place during their childhood years or it may come down to what has taken place during their adult years.
If they were able to move beyond their anger and to face the rest of their feelings, they wouldn’t have needed to stay angry. But as it wasn’t possible for them to face the rest of their feelings, they have ended up being emotionally stuck.
In order for one to let go of their anger, they will need to grieve their losses, and as this takes place, one will open themselves up to a wider range of emotions. If one is unable to cry out the pain by themselves, it will be important for them to seek the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.