Towards the end of 2007, I started to look for information on how to improve my success with women. After I had been reading about self-development for quite some time, this seemed like the next step.
During this time, I heard about a community that existed to help men improve with women. If I remember rightly, I heard about this community indirectly through what was mentioned in another book. The Next Step I ended up singing up to do one day of a boot camp, and this was a fascinating experience. Certain parts tested me, while there were other parts that made me wonder what was going on. The reason for this was that the right amount of guidance wasn’t always provided; at times, it was as though certain trainers were just as lost as the students. There was one trainer who really stood out, though. The Real Deal When we were all ‘out in the field’, this guy was like some kind of army general. He wasn’t there to waste time or to watch students stand around; he was there to make sure that they approached women. However, he wasn’t just standing around waiting for students to do this, as he was only too happy to show them how to do it. He was training other students, so I saw this from afar. A Mixed Response On one side, I felt a bit intimated by him, and, on another, I wanted to find out more about him. I remember complimenting him on the long red jacket that he wore, and this was before I started to wear read. I soon found out that his name was Richard, and it wasn’t long before out paths crossed again. Through spending time with him, I came to see that he would approach women absolutely anywhere - nothing fazed him. It Was Always On It didn’t matter if he was on the tube, a bus, a train, in a shop or walking around a populated area, as he would comfortably talk to women. He made it all look so easy and effortless. There is one moment that comes to mind that shows how good he was at approaching women and taking things further. There was a time when he approached a woman at a train station and it wasn’t long before he was kissing the same women. A Different Outlook In a way, it was as though he had some kind of super power. Still, through getting to know him, I found out that he hadn’t always been this way and that he had done thousands and thousands of approaches to get to this level. I wanted to find out more about him as a person; I didn’t see him as someone who was there to fill my needs. I think that this was one of the main reasons why we became friends; whereas it was normal for other people to see him as someone who was purely there to help them with women. Final Thoughts I treated him in the same way that I treated my other friends. There is no doubting how much of an effect Richard had on my life; there was what he showed me directly and there was what I learned through simply being around him. Through growing up in guest house my conversational skills were fairly developed, but approaching women was all new to me. This was then a time when I could improve on what I had already developed.
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When I was with a friend last year, I remember touching upon what was going on with the presidential election in America. I had been paying attention to this, but this friend hadn’t been doing the same thing.
I said that it was hard to work out what was going on and he said that there was no way of really knowing, or something something similar. Not only this, he didn’t see the point in getting caught up in what was going on; after all, it wasn’t as though we could do anything about it. Another Distraction If anything, he saw this as another distraction and something that would simply take his attention away from what he did have control over. It was then about bringing it back to the self and letting go of the distractions. What this came down to is that he was aware of how important it was for us to use his attention wisely. And if he was to get caught up in this and to focus on something he no control over, it would be a waste of his time, attention and energy. A Reminder This wasn’t the first time that I had heard anyone say this, as I had about this before; there have even been moments in my own life when I had applied this. Even so, this was a time in my life when I forget about what I ‘knew’. Fortunately, Wain, the friend who I am talking about, isn’t the kind of person who acts like he knows everything. So, although I had slipped up, so to speak, I didn’t feel as though I was being criticised. Another Experience A little while after this, he spoke about a moment in his own life when what was taking place within them had been mirrored back by others. This experienced reminded him of how careful he needed to be when it came to what he focused on. One of the reasons why he was able to see what was going on was because if didn’t take long for his inner reality to be mirrored back externally. Often, this is something that can take a while, and this is then why it can be hard to see the connection. Looking Back Hearing his experience made me think about what had taken place for me a number of years ago, a time in my life when a lot of trauma was triggered within me. My inner world seemed to change overnight and this meant that I started to see the world differently. In reality, this pain had been coming up for a little while, but an event brought it all up to surface. It was as though I had ended up on a different planet; a planet that wasn’t safe and where other people were not friendly. Two Parts Taking this into account, I think that it shows how important it is for us to be careful when it comes to what we focus on. In the same way that a garden needs to be looked after and that the right seeds need to be planted, our mind also needs to be looked after and for us to plant the right seeds). On one level, there is what is taking place in our mind, and, at a deeper level, there is what is taking place in our body or our so-called unconscious mind. And it is going to be a lot harder for us to focus our mind if our body is loaded with trauma. The Right Approach With this in mind, one person might simply need to focus their mind, whilst another might also need to deal with the baggage that is in their body. During this time, they might spend a fair amount of time focusing on things that are ‘negative’, but this won’t last forever. And as their inner world changes and they feel better about themselves as a result, their outer world will gradually start to change. This won’t be something that takes place through force; it will be a natural process. If you would like to find out more about, Wain, and the services that he offers, please go to - https://www.timetorelax.space/
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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