Even though someone has the desire to achieve something it doesn’t mean that they won’t also do things to hold themselves back. The trouble is that they might not be aware of the things that they are doing to undermine themselves.
As a result of this, they can end up blaming other people for how their life is going and/or see themselves as a victim. It is then not that they are holding themselves back; it is that someone or something out there is holding them back.
Releasing the Tension
Blaming outside circumstances might allow them to release frustration, but it won’t allow them to move forward. So no matter how much frustration is released during moments like this, it won’t be long until it soon returns.
With this in mind, the sooner one is able to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour, the sooner their life will change. One way that their life could change is if they were to read a book on self-development or to do a search online.
Shinning the Light
If they take this route, it can show that part of them is open to the idea that they may be holding themselves back. Another part of them might not be on board with this, but this part could slowly change as time goes by.
By reading a book or doing a search online, they may come across some of the ways that someone can stop themselves from achieving their goals. After reading about some of the ways that this can happen, they may start to understand why their life is the way it is.
A Few Examples
During this time, they may come across the following examples:
At The Root
There are, of course, numerous ways in which someone can stop themselves from moving forward. Yet, regardless of how someone does this, it is likely to come down to the same reasons.
On one level, one can believe that they don’t deserve to achieve something and, at a deeper level, they can believe that if they did it would put their very survival at risk. If this is the case, it is not going to be a surprise for them to hold themselves back.
The reason they don’t believe that they deserve to achieve something and believe that it would put their survival at risk can be due to what took place during their early years. At this stage of their life, they might not have received the type of care that they needed to be able to develop in the right way.
Perhaps they were abused in some way and they may have been neglected too. Being abused would have set them up to feel worthless and being neglected would have caused them to develop a strong fear of death.
Keeping Things the Same
As an adult, then, they are going to have a strong need to keep their life the same, not to grow and develop. A big part of them can believe that they don’t deserve to change their life and another part of them can believe that they would be abandoned, and left to die, if it did change.
Assuming that this is what is going on for them, it will be essential for them to pay attention to the fact that they do deserve to achieve their goals and that they won’t die if they do. If some of the people in their life do leave them, it will create the space for the right people to enter their life.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
Through being assisted by someone like this, they will be able to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves. This will allow them to work through the emotional pain that is within them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.