The other night, I ended up watching the new avatar film with a few friends, and I must say, that it was spectacular. I watched it in 3D but I think that it would be even better if I had watched it in 4DX.
Throughout the film, a number of parts stood out and had a strong emotional impact on me. One of those parts was when a female member of another tribe says ‘I see you’ to Jake Sully’s youngest son and, another, was when, towards the end of the film, Jake also says this to his son.
This son feels like an outcast and as though, no matter what he does, it is never good enough for his father. His older brother, on the other hand, is seen as someone who can’t put a foot wrong.
He desperately wants his father to accept him and to see him for who he really is. But, although this father is unable to do this, he meets a girl who is able to see and value him.
Unlike his father, who can physically see him but who is unable to attune to how he feels, hear what he has to say and his struggle to be loved, this is someone who can do both. She can see his physical self and acknowledge how he feels, what he says and the struggle that he is going through.
This is because as she doesn’t have the need for him to behave in a certain way, she can accept him as he is. When it comes to his father, he has the need for him to behave in a certain way and as this is not taking place, he is not happy with him.
Now, it could be said that his father just wants what is best for him and is showing him conditional love so that he grows into a certain type of man. He is then coming from the right place and is not trying to harm him.
At the same time, after this son saves his father and his father also says, ‘I see you’, it becomes clear that his father’s view of his son had been tainted up until this point by what he had been projecting onto his son. It was at this point that his father was able to let go of how he had seen his son and truly see him, allowing him to see that his previous view of him was not accurate.
A Strong Need
It is essential for all children, regardless of what planet they are from, to be seen by their parents, and for both their physical and emotional self to be acknowledged by them in order for them to develop in the right way. This doesn’t mean that this need disappears once they are an adult; it is a need that they will have for the rest of their life.
When this need is not met during someone’s early years, it can end up being repressed and they can end up unconsciously trying to be seen by others. This can give them a strong drive to be successful, with this being a way for them to finally be seen.
But, as they were not seen early on, they can feel unworthy of being seen and even unlovable. Part of them will then want to be seen but another, stronger part of them won’t feel comfortable being seen.
To resolve this conflict and to let go of the need to be seen by their parents, they will probably have a lot of pain to work through and unmet development needs to experience. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.
I believe that a lot of people will have been touched by the words ‘I see you’, with them consciously or unconsciously wanting to be seen as a result of not having this need met. But, as it relates to being externally and internally seen, being seen is about far more than just saying to someone, ‘I see you.’
And in the film, Jake Sully didn’t just say these words, his whole demeanour changed towards his son. For this to take place, having good eye and emotional sight, so having the ability to empathise with another human being, is key.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.