If the time had come for someone to make a big decision, what they may find is that they end up following their heart. In other words, they will go with what they feel called to do as opposed to doing something out of fear.
This could typically be how they operate during their day-to-day life too, meaning that behaving in this way will be what is normal. Through living in this way, their life is likely to be far more fulfilling than it would be otherwise.
A Strong Connection
What is likely to play a big part in why they are able to live in this way is the fact that they have a good connection with their whole being. This will be what allows them to connect to how they feel in their heart.
Naturally, if they didn’t have this connection with their whole being, it wouldn’t be possible for them to listen to this part of themselves. Thankfully, through having it, there will be no reason for their life to be driven by fear.
The Odd Occasion
If they are ever motivated by fear, it could because their life is under threat, for instance. So let’s say that they are walking late at night and they hear loud noises, the fear within them could give them the urge to walk faster in another direction.
They may even have moments when they want to say something but fear stops them from doing so. This may be something that takes place if they have family reunion, for instance.
Not a Big Deal
When it comes to them walking away if they were to hear loud noises, the fear that they feel will be rational. Ultimately, it will be there to keep them alive, not to hold them back in any way.
And, when it comes to keeping certain thoughts to themselves at a family gathering, another part of them could be only too aware of what has happened in the past. So, once again, behaving in this way will be the sensible thing to do.
As this is not their normal way of operating, it is likely to mean that the people in their life will be there for their right reason. Their friends and even their partner, that’s if they have one, will be in their life due to the fact that they want them to be.
Said another way, these people are not in their life so that they don’t have to feel lonely or be with their painful emotions. There is also the chance that they have a rewarding vocation or that they are working towards one that is.
If one was to look back on their life, they may see that this is pretty much how they have always lived. As a result of this, they probably won’t know what is it is like to live in a way that is the complete opposite of this.
At the same time, one might not have always lived in this way and will then know exactly what it is like to live in the opposite way. Through putting the work in, they will have been able to transform their existence.
A Totally Different Experience
When someone doesn’t live in this way, they may listen to their heart on the odd occasion but that could be as far as it will go. What will be the force that generally drives their life will be fear.
Now, this doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this, but it will still be the case. Consequently, just about every part of their life is going to be a reflection of their need to avoid what they believe would happen if they were to behave differently.
Consciously, one could believe that their behaviour is a reflection of their true needs, yet this will be an illusion. If they were to go deep within themselves, they will see that most of what they are drawn towards is simply a way for them to avoid something else.
Through being this way, there is likely to be a fair amount of resistance within them, and this resistance will set them up to experience more of the same. They will find that life provides them with even more things that they need to avoid
A Few Examples
Their life could be filled with people who they don’t really feel connected to but who allow them to avoid their painful feelings. One is then going to fully show up around them but at least they won’t have to be overwhelmed by their own pain.
When it comes to what they do for a living, once again they could do something that allows them to avoid their pain, not something that could be classed as their calling. This could be how they have experienced life for so long that it doesn’t even stand out.
What is clear is that it is just about impossible for this person to operate as a whole human being and to just be. There is a lot of fear within them and this is making it hard for them to listen to other parts of their being and to no longer be in avoidance mode.
It is likely that they typically only know what it is that they don’t what and rarely know what it is that they do want. Deep down, then, it is going to be as if their life is under threat and this is why they need to do everything they can to stay alive.
Back In Time
There is a strong chance that the reason that they are in survival mode as an adult is because their early years were a time when their life was under threat. This wouldn’t have been a time when it was safe for them to be and to pay attention to their needs; it would have been a time when they were on edge and had to focus on the needs of their caregivers.
This may have been a stage of their life when they were abused and/or neglected. Their need to grow and develop would have been put to one side, being replaced by their need to survive in an environment that was extremely dangerous.
Without this understanding, it is not going to be a surprise for someone to wonder why their adult life is about getting away from what they don’t want. Yet, to step back and to get to this point can be a challenge.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.