Being Centred: Is It Harder For Someone To Be Centred If They Have The Need To Please Others?

If someone was to stand on the edge of a building, it would be a lot harder for them to feel at peace than if they were in the middle of it. Being on the edge can cause them to feel uncomfortable, whereas being in the centre may allow them to feel at ease.

In the same way, someone can either be on the edge of themselves or they can be in their centre. If they are on the edge, they can feel disconnected, stressed, anxious and fearful, but, if they are in their centre, they can feel connected, calm, grounded and at peace.

The Best Option

Based on this, it is going to be far better for someone to be in their centre than it will be for them to to on the edge of themselves. The way for one to be in their centre will be for them to drop out of their mind and to be in their body.

This is what will allow them to be in tune with their own needs and feelings, which will make it easier for them to make good decisions. The alternative will be for them to be in their head; a place that will cause them to be on edge.

Out of Touch

Along with being all at sea, they are not going to have a strong connection with what is taking place within them. Instead, their focus will be on what is taking place around them, causing them to focus solely on other people’s needs.

It is then a case of one being in their body and being able to respond to life, or being out of touch with it and reacting to it. What is clear is that it will be far more fulfilling, and far less stressful, for one to be in their centre.

Only Human

Now, it is undoubtedly going to be a challenge for one to always be in their centre; that is, of course, unless they live in the middle of nowhere. The modern day world is full of things that are designed to distract and to unsettle people.

Even so, just because one lives in a society that is full of all kinds of stimulation and drama, it doesn’t mean that they have to be knocked around like a leaf in the wind and to always live on the surface of themselves. There are a number of things that they can do to make sure that stay connected to their centre.

One Approach

If one finds that they find it hard to be in their centre, they might end up being drawn to meditation. This can then be a way for them to detach from their mind and to get back in their body.

Along with this - or if they don’t feel drawn to this - they could end up trying yoga or Tai Chi. Through practicing at least one of these things, it will bring them back into their body and allow them to feel at peace, and, by doing this, they may find that they are less reactive in their day-to-day life.

Another Factor

Still, although these types of practises will help, they are not going to have much of an effect if one has a strong the need to please others. Being this way can pull them out of their body and cause them to be in their head.

And being in their head will then allow them to be aware of what is going on around them, thereby making it easier for them to please others. This is going to uproot them from their body, causing them to be reactive.

Tossed Around

Through being unable to assert themselves and to say no when they don’t want to do something, it is going to be normal for them to be controlled by the people in their life. It won’t matter what they want; what will matter is what the people around them want.
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Like a dog that has to jump whenever its owner says jump; one will be under the command of the people around them. Without the ability to stand their ground, they are going to spend a lot of their life being thrown around like a small boat in the ocean.

For Example

One could be asked if they want to do something and they could end up saying yes, even though they would prefer to rest. As a result of this, they are going to be neglecting their own needs, making it hard for them to respect themselves.

They are then going to be out of touch with themselves, feel even more drained, and this is bound to have a negative effect on their self-esteem. So, if this is something that takes place on a daily basis, it is going to make it more or less impossible for them to live a fulfilling life.

Drawing the Line

It is going to be essential for them to let go of the need to please others and to reconnect to what is taking place within therm. This will enable them to dance to the beat of their own drum, allowing them to live from their own centre.

If this is how one has been for as long as they can remember, it could show that their early years were a time when they had to focus on the needs of others and to neglect their own needs. Listening to themselves and asserting who they are would have ended up being seen as something that would put their life at risk.
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Awareness

Putting other people’s needs above their own is then going to cause them to suffer, but it will be what feels safe deep down. Unless this changes, they will continue to overextend themselves and to live a life that is not worth living.

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk