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Being: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Stop Them From Being Able To Just Be?

18/12/2019

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Even though someone will be a human being, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to just be. As a result of this, they will be a human being in name only; they won’t actually be able to act like one.

Ergo, instead of being able to do nothing and to feel comfortable doing nothing, they will have the need to always be on the go. Their life, then, is going to be all about the doing, with them practically always being in motion.

Not the Same

Therefore, if their appearance was put to one side and only their behaviour was observed, they could be seen as being part of a different species. They will look and behave like a human being, but they won’t be able to just be like a human being.

Another thing that could be said is that they are still part of the human race; it is just that something about them isn’t as it should be. So in the same way that an appliance can have a fault and not work as it should; they will have a fault that is preventing them from operating in the right way.

Back To Reality

Nevertheless, while one’s ability to just be is likely to show that something isn’t right, it doesn’t mean that this is something that will ever cross their mind. In their eyes, being on the go and doings things could be seen as the right way to live.

They could see themselves as someone who goes for what they want and grabs life by the horns, for instance. Thus, unlike those people who sit around waiting for things to happen, they make things happen.

Two Options

If this is their outlook, it is likely to illustrate that they believe that there is only two ways to experience life. The first is to take action, to be active and the second is to sit around, to be passive.

This is not just going to be something that they believe, though, as they could be surrounded by people that have the same point of view. The people in their life are then going to support and validate their outlook.

More Support

Yet, even if one isn’t surrounded by people like this, it doesn’t mean that they will be starved of support and validation. They could spend a fair amount of time watching videos, reading books and taking courses that talk about the importance of taking action and going after things.

In general, the people that they learn from could basically say that nothing will happen if they sit around and that they need to go after what they won’t. If they don’t do this, they will be filled with regrets at the end of their life.

It’s Futile

Once they have achieved something, it might not be long until they set their sights on another goal/achievement. Each achievement will be like a cloud in the sky; it will soon disappear, having no lasting impact.

Or said another way, it will be like trying to fill up a bucket that has a hole in the bottom. One won’t be on a treadmill, but their life will be like a treadmill that they are unable to get off of.

An Exhausting Existence

If they are at the beginning of their life, they might have the energy to keep living in this way for quite some time. But as the years pass, and they start to change, they may start to wonder if this is the right way to live.

It might not take this long, however, as they could soon find that living in this way takes a lot out of them and gives them very little in return. At this point, they may take a step back and reflect on why they are so driven and are unable to experience life differently.

Going Deeper

One thing that they could do to find out what is driving their behaviour is to slow down and to find the time to just do nothing. If they were to do this, they could end up coming into contact with a number of uncomfortable feelings and fears.

They could feel low or worthless and the fear of being rejected and or abandoned might arise. What this can show is that they believe that their value is defined by what they do; it is something that is external, not internal.

Back In Time

If they were to get in touch with what took place during their early years, they may find that this was a time when they were not loved and accepted for who they were. And, if their caregivers did give them positive responses, it may have only been when one did what they wanted.

Their value would then have been something that they had to earn; with it being something that was based on what they did, not on who they were. Regardless of what took place, this stage of their life would have taught them that they had no value and that the only way they would have value is if they did things and pleased others.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
​
They will probably have beliefs to change, the emotional wounds to heal, and the trauma to resolve. By engaging in this process, they will gradually be able to get in touch with their inherent value, and this will allow them to be a human being that takes action as opposed to a human doing that is unable to just be.

If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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    Oliver JR Cooper

    Author of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.


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    Disclaimer
    That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.





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    Inner Child - How To Heal Your Inner Child
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