Numerous books have been written about the importance of being present and how to be present. These kinds of books can go into how the body is always in the moment but the mind, on the other hand, is always trying to be somewhere else.
When someone is in the present moment, there is nothing for their mind to do, and this is why it will try to bring their attention to the past or to focus on the future. What took place in their past will have been and gone and the future is yet to be decided.
Point of Power
Clearly, focusing on what happened in the past won’t change the past and obsessing endlessly about what the future will bring won’t solve anything either. Their ability to make changes and to live the life they want to live will depend on what they do in each moment of their life.
The present moment is where their point of power lies, and they will be able to tap into this power by being in their body, not their mind. Their body is connected to life, whereas their mind simply has ideas about life.
Another part of being in their body and not caught up in their mind, is that they will be able to fully show up around others. Other people will be able to see, or feel, that they are actually there.
This is going to allow them to have deeper relationships with others, to really connect to their fellow human beings. What this comes down to is that it is not enough just to be next to someone, one needs too be fully in their body.
A Real Human Being
If it was enough for one to be next to another person and they didn’t need to be fully in their body (in the moment), it would be possible for them to create a statue of themselves and for this statue to spend time with their friends and family, for instance. But, as these people will want to be in their presence, this is not going to be an option.
To understand how important this is, one only needs to think about what it is like when they are with someone who is not present. The other person could be on their phone, for instance, and this is likely to be anything but fulfilling.
If one was to think about what it is like to be in the company of someone who is not present, they may start to think about how this must be what it is like to eat food that has no nutritional value. In the same way that eating it will be waste of time, it will also be waste of time to be around someone who is not in their body.
Being next to someone like this is more likely to take their energy away than it is to give them energy. They can end up feeling as though this person doesn’t value or appreciate them.
Therefore, if someone was to see that they have trouble being in the moment in their day-to-day life and when they are around others, it will be a good idea for them to do something about this. What they could do is to develop the ability to observe their mind, as this will stop them from getting too attached to what is going on within them and to embrace the present moment.
This is something that can take place by practicing mindfulness, for instance. At the same time, one may find that while this helps them to embrace the present moment when they are in their own company, it doesn’t have much of an effect when they are around others.
What might occur to them is that leaving the present moment around others is what feels comfortable. The reason for this is that they may believe that completely showing up will cause them to be rejected and even abandoned.
Deep down, they can believe that there is something inherently wrong with them and, if they were to fully show up, this would give people the chance to realise how flawed they are. One is then going to be hiding in plain sight.
A Key Area
Along with what they believe about themselves, there is likely to be the shame that they are also carrying. This can be held deep in their face, primarily their eyes and cheeks, and just above their stomach.
So, with this trauma inside them, it is not going to be much of a surprise that they find it hard to stay in their body around others and to connect with them. They may also find that they find it harder to be present around men/women.
Back In Time
What this can illustrate is that there was a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse. This would have overwhelmed their system, making it more or less impossible for them to feel safe in their body.
There is a strong chance that their early years were a time when they experienced abuse, and this may have been physical, verbal and/or sexual. The years will then have passed but what took place will still be affecting them.
The truth is that there is nothing inherently wrong with them but, until they start to work through the layers of trauma that are within them, they probably won’t be able to truly realise this – it will just be another piece of information. This is why the assistance of a therapist or a healer is so important, as someone like this will assist one in getting rid of what is stopping them from being able to embrace their inherent worth.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.