It could be said that whenever one spends time around others, they are going to be seen. Therefore, the only way for one to not be seen by others will be for them to spend time by themselves.
Black and White
This is then something that is not hard to understand; in fact, it is perfectly clear. With this in mind, if one doesn’t want to be seen by others, it is going to mean that they will have to isolate themselves from the world.
On the other hand, if one does want to be seen by others, they will simply need to make sure that they spend time around people. To understand this, there is going to be no need for one to use a lot of brain power.
Hidden In Plain Sight
Nevertheless, although this might seem to be the case, there is far more to this than meets the eye. What this comes down to is that someone doesn’t need to isolate themselves in order to hide.
The only thing that they need to do is to spend time around others but to make sure that other people don’t see them. When this takes place, one is not going to want to draw attention to themselves.
There can be the kind of clothes they wear, their body language, and what their energy is like. Each one of these elements will have a part to play, and one might not even have to think about any of them.
One could have been this way for so long that it is no longer necessary for them to consciously think about what they need to do to hide. When it comes to their clothes, they may typically wear dark colours.
Wearing grey or black, for instance, can allow them to fade into the background. They could often have closed body language, giving off the message that they don’t want to be approached, and they may also find it hard to maintain eye contact.
Energetically, it could be as though they are somewhere else, and this is because they may find it hard to embrace the present moment. Most of their attention could be in their mind, or it might even seem as though it is somewhere else entirely.
A Number of Things
It is then not just one thing that will allow this person to merge into the background; it is a combination of things. What this illustrates is that being noticed is not just about being around others.
And even though someone like this has the need to hide, it doesn’t mean that every part of them is on board with this. Another part of them will probably have the need to be seen, but this is likely to be overshadowed by their need to hide.
Part of them is going to be in control, and this is going to cause them to experience a certain amount of pain. The part of them that wants to be seen could be described as their true-self.
This is the part of them that relates to their true needs and feelings; whereas their false-self relates to a role that they play to survive. Playing this role will allow them to ‘fit in’, yet what it won’t do is allow them to live a life that is worth living.
Consequently, their relationships are unlikely to be very fulfilling – how could they be if one doesn’t feel comfortable enough to be seen? They are likely to play a role when they are around their friends, thereby ignoring their true needs and feelings.
One could be drawn to people who are comfortable with attention, making it easy for them to stay in the shadows. These people might treat them reasonably well, or they could have the tendency to abuse them in some way.
A Closer Look
Although behaving in this way is having a negative effect on their life, it is going to be what feels safe. So, if they were to change their behaviour, they could end up experiencing fear, anxiety, and shame, amongst other things.
It can be hard to understand why someone would experience so much fear; especially when having the need to be seen is part of being human. What this is likely to show is that there was time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to express themselves.
More Than Once
At the same time, they may have had a number of moments in their life when it wasn’t safe enough for them to assert themselves. If this relates to what happened when they were younger, this may have been what it was like day after day, year after year.
This may have been a time when they were physically abused, and this would have caused them to experience a lot of trauma. Being seen would have been associated as something that would put their life at risk.
It is not going to matter how many years have passed since that time in their life, as what took place all those years ago will continue to define how their perceive the world and how they behave. Taking this into account, it might seem as though the best approach is for this person to change their thoughts and behaviour.
A behavioural therapy type approach is then the key to one being able to reveal their true-self. This might work, but then again, it might not have much of an effect on their behaviour.
A more direct approach would be for one to deal with the trauma that is within them and then their view of the world and behaviour will change naturally. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.