If one was to think about how someone would behave if they don’t feel comfortable being seen, they might start to imagine someone who spends a lot of time by themselves. And this is because it will be a way for them to avoid attention.
It could then be said that they will have a good understanding of how they would behave, and this could be a sign that they have experienced life in this way in the past. At the same time, they may know someone who experiences life in this way.
Out of Sight
When one is not around others, the only person who will look at them will be themselves, and this will occur during the moments when they look in the mirror. As a result of this, they are going to end up experiencing a lot less pressure.
If they were to spend time around others, it would be normal for them to end up feeling uncomfortable. So although the people around them might enjoy being around others, this is not going to be something that they can relate to.
However, even though they won’t enjoy being around others, there are likely to be moments when they can’t avoid it. It then won’t matter how they feel as this will have to simply put up with it as best as they can.
There is also the chance that one will have developed certain ways of dealing with these moments, and it could then be something that doesn’t have a big effect on their life. This could mean that one will end up wearing a mask during these instances.
For example, if one has a job where they have to be around others, it will be necessary for them to come out of hiding (at least physically). Yet even if this wasn’t the case, there would still be times when they would need to buy things.
Also, one may go out to see their family and/or friends, and there could be moments when the go on holiday. Still, if one has a way of covering up how they feel it might not be possible for other people to realise what is taking place for them.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that one will have developed a false-self, and this can then allow them to fit in. But while this stops them from being able to be themselves around others, it can enable them to function in the world.
Nevertheless, as one doesn’t want to be seen by others, this is unlikely to be something that concerns them. Ultimately, it will make it easier for them to be around others when they have to be around them, and that will be the only thing that matters.
If they do have a problem with wearing a mask around others, it could be a sign that they are in touch with their true-self. On one side, they will have the need to hide from others, and on the other side, they will want to be seen by them.
But as they spend more time by themselves than do with others, it is going to be clear what side is the strongest. And until this is no longer the case, they are going to continue to behave in the same way.
It could then be said that if one doesn’t want to be seen by others, they will spend a lot of time by themselves. Or if they do spend time around others, they will end up hiding behind some kind of role.
Yet what this would overlook is how one can be in a position where they hide behind people instead. This doesn’t mean that they won’t spend a lot of time by themselves; what it means is that this could be something that rarely takes place.
Another Form of Hiding
One can then spend time around people who more or less completely overshadow them, and this is going to be what feels comfortable. When one is in their company, they could find that they spend most of their time listening to what the other person has to say.
Thus, these people will end up getting their needs met and one’s needs will end up being overlooked. It might be accurate to say that these people won’t know who they are, and they probably won’t care either.
From the outside it might seem as though one is there, but this is going to be nothing more than an illusion. As while one’s body will be there, what won’t be there is their presence, and this is because they will be out of touch with their true-self.
How one comes across will be nothing more than a role that allows them to hide around other people. Some of the people they spend time with could also be playing a role; the difference could be that they have created a false-self that allows them to come across as though they have it all together.
On The Bench
These people could be seen as confident and they could be popular, and one will be there to give them even more energy. One could then be seen as an important friend due to the fact that they are not going to steal the limelight.
If one was to reflect on how they experience life, they could see themselves as being on the substitute’s bench; the people around them will be on the pitch getting involved in the game. The trouble is that this is not a game that will soon come to an end; it is how they always experience life.
A Deeper Look
When one feels the need to hide in life, it is likely to be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame. This will cause them to feel completely worthless, and as they feel this way, they will need to stop other people from realising how flawed they are.
As if they were to find out, they will believe that it will cause them to rejected and then abandoned. What this can show is that their early years were a time when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect.
So if one can relate to this and they want to move forward, they may need to reach out for the support of a therapist. This will allow them to deal with what is taking place in their mind and their body.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.