Belief: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Believe In Themselves?

When it comes to being successful and achieving what one wants to achieve, it is important that one believes in themselves. Without this belief, one is going to find it difficult to achieve anything. So not only will it be impossible for one to thrive, it could also be a real challenge for them to just survive.

And as Theodore Roosevelt once said - "Believe you can and you're halfway there’’. This shows how much of an advantage one will have if they believe in themselves. This is not to say that one doesn’t have to do anything and everything will simply fall into place.

However, what it will mean is that one will show up in life and give something a go; they might go all the way or they may decide it is not for them. The belief that they have in themselves allows them to take action.

A State Of Mind

Having self belief doesn’t mean that one never experiences challenges or that they ignore them, what it means is that one knows they will be able to overcome them. And this is unlikely to be the result of thinking logically; it will be something that they just ‘know’.

Challenges will then come and go and yet, their self belief is likely to remain. And with each challenge that one overcomes, their self belief is likely to increase. The power of momentum is then at play, and one success can end up catapulting them onto another.

The Onlooker

In the eyes of other people, they may believe that the reason one believes in themselves is because they are highly competent in what they do or in life in general. Or they could believe that one is simply deluded and can’t see where this belief comes from.

And while their outer reality and what they have achieved is going to reflect their inner belief, they had to believe in themselves first, or their outer reality wouldn’t be what it is and they wouldn’t have achieved what they have. One may seem deluded, but then, belief is not something that one attains by meeting certain requirements.

It is not based on anything external or through receiving other people’s permission either. How other people view someone who does have self belief will be the result of their own interpretations. Therefore, one may have no idea why another person believes in themselves.

They’re Different

To say that people who believe in themselves are different to people who don’t would be partly true. They are different to a certain degree, but they’re not inherently different.

At some point in this person’s life, there is going to be a least one person who believed in them. And like a seed, this support would have allowed them to gradually develop their own self belief.

External Support

No one is their own island after all; each and every one of us needs other people to be able to grow and develop. This external support could have come from a family member, a friend and/or teacher, for example.

It may have been something that one experienced for many years or it may have been something one experienced for a short period of time. But no matter how long it lasted, it was enough to make a difference in their life.

Developing Self Belief

The reason one doesn’t believe in themselves is then not because they are missing something, it is because they have not received what they need to receive in order to develop self belief. And this means that if one gets the right support, they will be able to develop self belief.

To use a quote by Dov Baron – ‘’every one of us needs someone to believe in us long enough for us to develop the inner strength to believe in ourselves...Find yourself a Mentor!’’.

This quote shows how important it is to receive the right support from others. So if one hasn’t received this support until this point, it doesn’t mean this has to continue for much longer.

Awareness

Everyone needs help from time to time and this is not something that one should feel ashamed of or that they are therefore incapable. This support can come from a coach, trusted friend or some kind of teacher.

It doesn’t matter who this support comes form, what matter is that one reaches out for it. One could read books that are supportive and yet, this might not be enough. 

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/