When something goes wrong, one can look into why it has gone wrong or they can find someone to blame. If one was to take the first option, it could be said that there is a greater chance of them being able to find a solution.
Whereas if they were to find someone to blame for what has taken place; it might not be possible for them to find a solution. As a result of this, one could end up being stuck, and until they try a different approach, they may find that their life doesn’t change.
It Gets Worse
In fact, one could find that their life ends up getting worse, and even though this is the case, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will change their outlook. This is because one could believe that they are doing the right thing, and that it is someone else who is in the wrong, so to speak.
Through having this outlook, it is likely to mean that one will continue to behave in the same way. Yet if they believe that they have played no part in what has taken place, this is to be expected.
But if one was to look into why something has gone wrong, it would give them the chance to move forward. This is not to say that they will need to take full responsibility, as someone else may have played a part in what has taken place.
The difference is that while one will be able to acknowledge the part another person has played, they are not going to end up feeling like a victim. Through having this approach, it will give them the ability to carry on with their life.
When one blames someone else, they will be giving their power away, and if they have no power, they won’t be able to do anything. On the other hand, when one takes responsibility, they will be embracing their own power and this will give them the chance to do something.
This is not to say that they will be able solve everything that takes place in their life; what it means is that they will be willing to play their part. Ultimately, it will give them the ability to grow and develop.
If one usually looks into what part they have played, it is going to be a sign that they have a certain level of self-awareness. As it is this ability that will allow them to look into what part they have played.
On one hand, they will be able to reflect on their own behaviour, and on the other hand, they will be able to look into what part someone else has played. Through being able to do this, it will give them a greater chance of seeing how much responsibility they need to take.
Cutting Their Losses
At times, one might be able to put something right, but at other times, it might be necessary for them to walk away. This could be a sign that they have played their part and they are still unable to make any progress.
So out of their need to look after their own well-being, they will have to move on with their life. For if they were to continue to channel their time and energy into something that wasn’t changing, they would only set themselves up to suffer unnecessarily.
If one was in a relationship and they were to take responsibility for their behaviour but their partner was not willing to take responsibility for theirs, and this was something that took place on a regular basis, it might be important for them to cut their ties. This would be a sign that they realise they can only do so much, and if they were to stay with the other person, it wouldn’t do them any favours.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is simply taking responsibility for themselves. And that they are not willing to be held accountable for something that has nothing to do with them.
However, when one generally blames others for what takes place in their life; it can be a sign that they lack self-awareness. It is then not going to matter what part they play in what takes place in their life, as they are not going to be able to accept responsibility.
It will then be normal for them to overlook their own behaviour and focus purely on what someone else has done. They could believe that they are the victim, and that other people are out to get them in some way.
One way of looking at this would be to say that they will not only be blind to the part they have played; they will also be blind to their own faults. Their point of focus will be on someone else and this will cause them to overlook their own behaviour.
What can play a big part in this is the emotional experience that they are having, as this will stop them from being able to think clearly. They could be experiencing anger, rage and even hate, and this is naturally going to cloud their judgement.
So unless they are able to take their focus away from someone else and to settle themselves down emotional, it is not going to be possible for them to look at their own behaviour. And not only could they see themselves as playing no part, they could also have people around them who support their outlook.
This is then going to mean that other people will validate their outlook and it will be even harder for them to face reality. Also, just because one is unable to see their own faults, it doesn’t mean that this is something that always takes place.
Now and Then
This could be something that takes place from time to time, and this means that in most cases, they will take responsibility. So if one’s behaviour is out of character, it could be because they are in a highly charged situation.
If one is in this position, it could be a challenge for them to change their mind. And this means that not only will their behaviour have a negative effect on others, it will also cause them to suffer mentally and emotionally.
But if they do change, it could be because they have settled down emotionally, and this is likely to mean that their outlook has changed in some way. Perhaps they came to see how their outlook was having a negative effect on their life, and this could be a sign that someone was able to get through to them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.