When it comes to the words that someone uses, there is the potential for one to cover up what is really going on. Here, one can say what they think they should be saying or what sounds right. And while another person can take this as the truth, it could be just a half truth or a complete fabrication.
This is why it is important for one to look at what else this person is communicating. And one of the biggest sources of information is what their body is giving off. While this can be manipulated just like words can be to cover up what is taking place, it is a lot harder to do.
While the mind can be monitored and kept under control, the body is a lot harder to control and this is because it has a mind of its own. Another name for the body is the unconscious mind and body language often goes on unconsciously.
And people generally read body language unconsciously as well. Meaning that their mind may have one idea about someone and their body or intuition could have something else to tell them.
So as body language plays massive role in how one comes across, it is going to be a vital element in understanding what another person is saying. It is also going to be important for one to be aware what their body language is, in order to come across as they want to and to make the right impression.
The next logical step would then be for one to place their attention on their body. To become aware of what their body is doing during certain satiations and how different environments affect them.
And as there are plenty of books available on this subject, it is not going to take too much effort to understand body language. Although one may have been unaware of how their body has been reacting for their whole life, it’s not as if they are trying to understand a foreign language.
So within a short amount of time, big improvements can be made. At first it is going to seem strange and as time goes by, it will be lot easier and then it will become natural and something they don’t even need to think about.
Mind Over Body
This is a clear example of the mind controlling the body. And if the body is causing one to come across as closed, submissive, nervous or shy, then this is going to be seen as the right thing to do.
What it can also lead to is one overlooking the reasons as to why their body is responding as it does. These reactions could be seen as insignificant and that one just needs to force their body to change.
To simple change one’s body language is going to cause one to come across differently, that can’t be denied. And as a result of this, other people are generally going to respond to them differently.
For some people this will be enough and before long it will feel congruent. And yet for others, changing what their body does won’t make much of a difference. For example, some people may find that their whole life has been transformed, as well as their relationships.
Other people may find that their life hasn’t really changed and that how they truly feel is just being covered up and repressed. So on the outside they might look the part or they could come across as incongruent and yet on the inside they feel like a fraud.
Through taking on another person’s advice or through their own conclusions, one could just carry on with what they are doing; with the belief that they will feel different through repetition and that others will soon recognise this difference.
Another option would be for one to get in touch with their body and to see why it reacts as it does. One is likely to see that there are certain patterns in regards to how their body responds around people.
So one could find that they close up when they are around the opposite sex or just when anyone gets too close to them. Being around big groups of people or when one is in public could also have the same affect.
The reasons one’s body is responding in these ways is not necessarily because of what is taking place externally, but because of how one’s mind is interpreting what is taking place. And what is taking place externally, is then triggering certain emotions internally.
So though one feeling as they do, their body is then doing what feels comfortable. If one feels vulnerable or fearful, then they are naturally going to cross their arms for instance. These emotions could have been trapped in their body for many years.
And what these present day circumstances are doing is reminding them of what happened all those years ago. Their mind may have forgotten all about what happened, but their body remembers.
One could find that their head is generally tipped forward or that their shoulders are rounded. Now, one approach would be to lift their head and to push their shoulders back. But, what this doesn’t do is look at why their body is doing this.
And the reason they do this could be to protect their heart. Not only does the heart have a physical use, it is also where feelings of grief, sadness, loss, rejection and abandonment are held. So if one were to be carrying trapped emotions there, then having a closed posture would be normal and feel ’comfortable’.
When one does have trapped emotions in their body, they will need to be released. And as this happens, one will find that their body language changes naturally. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist, healer or a trusted friend.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.