If one was to lie down in a crowded place, there is a strong chance that they would end up being walked over. And it wouldn’t matter whether someone wanted to walk over them or not, as they wouldn’t have much choice.
However, this is not to say that one needs to do this in order to be walked over by others, as this is something that can take place if they haven’t got any boundaries. And while this can mean that other people will walk over their body, it is more likely to mean that they will be effected in others ways.
One is likely to find is that it is not possible for them to express their true-self, and this is because they will feel the need to go along with what other people want. It is then going to be normal for their own needs and feelings to be ignored.
On one hand, they might be aware of what is taking place within them, and on the other hand, they could be disconnected from this part of themselves. Yet regardless of whether they are aware of what is taking place within them, it won’t matter.
When they are around others, they could experience an incredible amount of pressure and anxiety, and this will make it harder for them to relax. This can mean that they are focused on what they can do to please others.
They may also find that they end up behaving how they think other people would like them to behave. As a result, they can lose themselves before someone else tries to take advantage of them.
Therefore, while there are going to be people who take advantage of them; this is not always going to be the case. Someone could just come into contact with them and believe that one’s behaviour reflects who they are.
It is then not that someone else has tried to walk over them; it is that one has simply fallen into a role. And when one falls into a role, it is likely to come down to the fact that it is what feels safe.
When this happens, one could come across as easy going and only too happy to help others. Or they could come across as though they are quiet or shy, and this can then be seen as what they are like.
And although one may only drop into a role around certain people; it could be what they are like around everyone they meet. In the eyes of others, it is then going to be seen as who they are as opposed to a role they play to feel safe.
Through being waked over by others, it can be normal for one to feel angry, and this could mean that they are used to experiencing rage and even hate. The reason for this is that their anger would have built-up over time, and while it could be something they experience from time to time; it could be something that they experience on a regular basis.
Still, this doesn’t mean that one will show how they feel around others, as this could be something that they only reveal when they are by themselves. But if they don’t get angry during this time, it could mean that they end up feeling depressed.
If their true feelings do come out around others, they could come out in destructive ways. There could be moments when they come across in a passive aggressive manner, or they might lose their temper for a short time.
Thus, there can be moments where they feel like a victim and moments where they cause others to feel like a victim. And once they have settled down again, they might end up feeling guilty.
When it comes to one’s career, they may work somewhere that doesn’t fulfil them, and this could also be an environment where they are taken advantage of in some way. On the other hand, they may be in a position where they have been able to progress, but it is not possible for them to hold their ground.
For example, they could be a manager or have some kind of leadership position and find they can’t do their properly. During the times when they need to act assertively, for instance, they could deteriorate.
Along with this, they might be in a relationship where their partner takes over and doesn’t allow them to be themselves. There is also the chance that it is far worse, and this could mean that they are with someone who is abusive.
But if they are not with someone, it could be because they have had a number of relationships that were not very fulfilling. Avoiding intimacy can then be a way for them to protect themselves.
If one was to get to a place where they were no longer willing to experience life in the same way, they may end up reaching out for support. This could be a time where they hear about how they need to work on their ‘mental strength’.
Through taking this approach, it will give them the ability to ‘control’ the feelings and thoughts that arise, and this will then allow them to stand up for themselves. Along with this, they might come across information that talks about the importance of changing what they believe.
However, while there is the chance that this approach will work, there is also the chance that it won’t. This is because the reason why people walk over them might be due to what is taking place in their body as opposed to their mind.
If they were to get in touch with how they feel in their body, they may find that they feel exposed. Another way of looking at this will be to say that they are boundaryless, and this can then be why they don’t feel comfortable standing their ground.
A Deeper Look
When one hasn’t developed boundaries, it can be a sign they were abused and/or neglected during their younger years. This could also have been a time when someone got too close to them.
These experiences would then have stopped one from being able to develop boundaries, and they would have caused one to believe that their survival rests on putting other people’s needs first. Therefore, unless one is able to feel safe in their body, it will be a challenge for them pay attention to their own needs and feelings.
If this is something that one can relate to, it will be important for them to reach out for the right support, and this can be from a therapist and/or a support group. During this time, one may be grieving unmet childhood needs and working through trauma.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Child Abuse And Neglect - How To Heal From Child Abuse And Neglect