On one side, there are said to be people who like to spend a lot of time around others, and on the other side, there are said to be people who don’t. Another way of looking at this would be to say that there are introverts and extroverts.
But while some people will see themselves in this way; there are also going to be people who don’t. If they were asked how they would describe themselves, they might not be able to identity with either of them.
A Bit of Both
They could say that there are times in their life when they want to be around others and times in their life when this is not the case. As a result of this, it would be inaccurate to say that they are an extrovert or an introvert.
However, this is not to say that they will want to spend as much time with others as they do by themselves. There is the chance that they will prefer to spend more time with others than they do in their own company, or vice versa.
Also, this doesn’t mean that their needs will always be the same, as there could be certain periods in their life when they need to experience life differently. During these moments, they may find that they need to be around others more or they could take a step back because they need to spend less time around others.
It could be said that this is a normal part of life, and how it is to be expected that someone’s needs are not always going to be the same. And there are going to be a number of reasons as to why this is.
It is often said that the sun brings people out, and so one may prefer to go out more when it’s warmer. Thus, during the colder months, they will end up having less contact with other people.
What can also play a part here is if one has gone through a breakup or if a loved one has passed on. This could be something that brings one in, or they may end up needing more stimulation than they usually do.
Months or Years
If one has the need to take a step back from how they used to be, they may find that it is only a matter of months before they need to be around others again. At the same time, this might not be long enough, and they may end up being this way for over a year.
What this shows is that not everyone is the same, and just because one responds differently to something, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. It simply shows that they are responding differently, and during this time, it will be important for them to be compassionate towards themselves.
However, even though one can be in a position where they prefer less contact with others; they can also be in a position where they do everything they can do avoid it. And when they are around others, they may or may not have a lot to say.
It could then be said that the only time one feels comfortable is when they are by themselves. And this could be how they have been for as long as they can remember, or it might be a fairly recent occurrence.
When one has experienced life in this way for quite some time, they might not even think about why they are this way. It could just be seen as who they are, and the people around them could also see it as a reflection of their personality, for instance.
But if they were to think about why they behave in this way, it could cause them to end up feeling angry. They could see people who do embrace life and wonder what it would be like; another way of saying this is that they may look up to the people who experience life differently.
A Recent Occurrence
On the other hand, if one has only just started to behave in this way, it might be hard for them to understand what is going on. As a result of this, the people around them could also wonder why they have changed.
And if they were to think about what is going on or if someone else was to ask them, they might not be able to find an answer. Part of them will then have the need to hide and another part of them will have the need to embrace life.
The part of them that is the strongest is likely to be the part of them that wants to hide, and this is going to cause them to experience conflict. When one behaves in this way, it is going to mean that a lot of their needs end up being overlooked.
In fact, they could be so concerned with avoiding others that they don’t even think about their other needs. But unless they are able to feel comfortable around others, this is something that is not going to change.
What this can show is that they are boundaryless, and this is why they don’t feel comfortable around others. Their body will feel exposed and avoiding others will be a way for them to feel safe.
But regardless of whether one has felt this way for most of the life or if it is a fairly recent occurrence, it is likely to come down to what took place during their childhood years. So if this is a fairly recent occurrence, it could be because what took place during their childhood years has been brought up to the surface.
During these years, it wouldn’t have been possible for one to develop boundaries, and this is likely to be a sign that they were abused and/or neglected. Along with this, there may have been someone around at this time that got too close to them.
These experiences would have left them feeling incredibly vulnerable, and the only way for them to feel safe would have been to hide. Therefore, unless their body feels different, it is going to be a challenge for them to embrace life.
If one can relate to this, it will be important for them to reach out for external support, and this can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group. This is likely to be a time where they will be dealing with trauma, among other things.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.