Boundaries: Can A Lack Of Boundaries Stop Someone From Being Able To Express Their True-Self?

On one side, one can be in a position where they are able to express their true-self, and on the other side, they can be in a position where this isn’t the case. At the same time, one could also find that it is possible for them to do this from time to time.

But if this is the case, it is likely to mean that one can only express themselves around certain people and during certain situations, and this going to have a negative effect on their life. So whether one is unable to be themselves or they can only do this on the odd occasion, it is going to cause them to suffer.

Part of Life

There is the chance that one will have experienced life in this way for as long as they can remember, and this could then mean that they have to come to believe that there is nothing they can do. If this is the case, it will cause them to suffer; but that will be as far as it goes.

However, one could also find that they are unwilling to experience life in this way for much longer and this may cause them to look for answers. It could then be said that they will be a taking a more proactive approach.

Depressed

Whereas when one doesn’t take this approach and continues to experience life in the same way, they will be tolerating what is taking place. As a result of this, they could end up seeing themselves as a victim.

And while they may be used to feeling angry; they may also have moments when they feel depressed. This can be a reflection of the fact that one feels as though they have no control over what is happening in their life.

A Symptom

But even though one only feels depressed because they can’t express their true-self, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. This can mean that one will end up trying to treat a symptom as opposed to the cause.

Through taking this approach, one could end up feeling better even though their life hasn’t changed. One way of looking at this would be to say that one has lost touch with the feedback that they need to change their life.

Feedback

The pain that they were experiencing was not bad per se; it was simply there to let them know that something wasn’t right. So through removing this pain, it will stop them from being aware of the fact that something isn’t right.

This will then stop one from being able to change their life, but while it would be easy to say that they have wrong approach; they are simply a product of their environment. In today’s world, pain is often seen as something that needs to be removed, and not as something that needs to be understood.

The False-Self

And if one is living in a way that goes against who they are, it is to be expected that they will end up suffering in one way or another. In this sense, the pain they are experiencing can be seen as their ally as opposed to their enemy.

When one is around others, they are likely to find that they generally behave how other people want them to behave, or how they think they want them to behave. Thus, their needs and feelings are going to end up being overlooked.

Disconnected

One will then be aware of what s taking place within them, but that will be as far as it goes. And when they are not longer around others, they could end up wondering why they were unable to be themselves.

On the other hand, one could also be out of touch with what is taking place within them, and this could even be the case when they are by themselves. During this time, they could just feel angry and down.

Another Consequence

This could also mean that it is not possible for one to have a fulfilling career, and even if they are doing something that is fulfilling, they may find that they can only get so far. If they were able to express themselves, it would be a lot easier for them to move forward.

Approval

And if one was to think about why they behave as they do, they may find that they need other people’s approval. As a result, they may believe that their life would soon change if this was no longer the case.
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Based on this, if they were to reach out for support, they may look for a way to let go of this need. This could then be a time where they will change what they believe, and they could also begin to think differently.

The Body

However, while one’s life could change through placing their attention on their mind, this might not be enough. One could find that the reason they are unable to express their true-self is because they don’t feel safe.

Therefore, it could be a sign that they need to focus on their body and not their mind. If they were to get in touch with their body, they may feel as though they are exposed, and it could then be said that they are boundaryless.

Boundaries

So as one doesn’t feel as though it is safe for them to be themselves, it is to be expected that they won’t be able to express their true-self. The energetic boundary that would have allowed them to feel safe doesn’t exist, and until they feel safe in their body, it might not matter what takes place in their mind.

The Reason

When one experiences life in this way, it can be due to what took place during their childhood years. During their early years, one may have been abused/and or neglected, and they may have had a caregiver that got too close to them.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, it will be important for them to reach out for external support, and this can come from a therapist and/or a support group. This is likely to be a time where one will be dealing with trauma, among other things.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/