Boundaries: Can Someone Allow Other People To Walk Over Them When They Feel Worthless?

If one was to come into contact with someone who tried to take advantage of them, they could end up letting the other person know that this is not acceptable. This might take place through telling them directly and/or they could walk away.

It will then be clear that one is not willing to put up with this kind of behaviour, and it might not matter who it is. When something like this happens, they could instantly end up feeling uncomfortable.
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Action

Through feeling this way, the next step will be for them to do something about what has taken place. What this is likely to show is that one has a clear idea of what is and what isn’t acceptable.

And through being this way, it is going to mean that one has the ability to look after themselves. There is also the chance that the people they spend time with are only too aware of this.

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One could be seen as someone who is assertive, and this could be something that they admire about them. These people could also behave in the same way, or some of them might like to behave in the same way.

If one of their friends is used to being walked over, they could spend a lot of time thinking about how one is able to do what they do. Along with this, there could also be moments when one tells them that they need to stand their ground.

Intimacy

When it comes to their love life or the people they date, they are likely to have a clear idea about what they will and won’t put up with. One is then not going to allow their emotions to get in the way and to stop them from being able to draw the line.

But if this doesn’t happen, and they do allow someone to walk over them, it could be something rarely takes place. Yet, as they have good boundaries, there is a strong chance that they will generally attract people who also have good boundaries.

Normal

If one was to take a step back and to look into how long they have been this way, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. It might be a challenge for them to get in touch with when their life was different.

At the same time, their life might not have been this way for a long time, and they will be only too aware of when people walked over them. What this can show is that they got to the point where they were no longer willing to experience life in this way.

A Transitional Period

One may have got so fed up with being walked over, that they could no longer take it anymore. Or, someone else might have told them that they don’t need to tolerate this kind of behaviour, and this might have caused them to look into what they could do.

Through being fed up or receiving advice from another person, it would have allowed them to gradually change their life. There would have been a number of different factors that defined how long it took them to move forward.

Part of Life

However, while there are going to be people who don’t allow others to walk over them, there are going to be plenty of people who do. Through being this way, they could be used to feeling like a door mat.

One could feel as though they have no way of protecting themselves when they are around others. But while this is going to have a negative effect on them, they could believe that they don’t have a choice.

Powerless

What is taking place is going to stop them from being able to be themselves and to listen to their own needs, but it will be seen as something they have to put up with. At a deeper level, they may believe that they deserve to be treated in this way.

So even if one was to get angry about what is taking place, another part of them is going to feel comfortable with it. And as this part of them is stronger than the other part, it will be what controls their behaviour.

An Inner Change

In order for one to no longer put up with this behaviour, it will be important for them to realise that they don’t deserve to be walked over. This will give them strength to stand their ground and to say ‘no’ when they need to.

It might be hard for one to understand why they would feel this way; especially as it is causing them to be harmed by others. And as they don’t stand their ground, other people could still walk over them even if they don’t intend to.

Self-Worth

When one doesn’t value themselves enough to stand their ground, it can be a sign that they feel worthless. At one point in their life, they may have been treated badly, and this would then have set them up to feel this way.

If one has been this way for as long as they can remember, it could mean that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years. At this stage of their life, they might have been treated like an object or a thing.

Their needs and feelings would have been overlooked, and their boundaries would have been crossed. Therefore, how they are treated as an adult is simply a continuation of how they were treated as a child.

Awareness

It might then be a good idea for one to reach out for external support, and this can be provided by a therapist. This will give them the opportunity to work through what is taking place within them and to realise their value. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk