When one spends time around the people who they are close to, they may find that they are able to be themselves. What this is going to show is that they won’t have to put on an act.
Not only is one going to be in touch with their needs and feeelings, they are also going to feel safe enough to pay attention to what is taking place within them. Ultimately, one is going to feel comfortable in their own skin.
Standing Their Ground
Through being this way, there is going to be no reason for them to allow over people to walk over them. If another person tried to take advantage of them, they would soon feel the need to draw the line.
During this time, they could tell someone that their behaviour is not acceptable, or they could simply walk away. And when it comes to how they behave, it can all depend on what is taking place.
At The Bottom
Along with the connection that one has with what is taking place within them is going to be how they feel about themselves. Deep down, one is going to value themselves, and this is what will allow them to behave in this way.
One will feel as though their needs are important, and they will believe that they deserve to be treated well by others. In addition to how they feel about themselves, there will be the energy within them that allows them to protect themselves.
Through being in touch with their aggression, it will give them the strength to stand up for themselves. This is not to say that they will end up losing control, as what is taking place within them is likely to be hidden.
Their aggression is going to be contained, and this will allow them to utilise how they feel without losing themselves. One is then going to be behaving in a conscious manner, and the fuel that is with them will keep them safe.
Give and Take
So when they are with a friend, for instance, they won’t have the need to please them; if they do something, it is generally going to be because they want to do it. The people in their life are going to be there for a reason.
It is often said that one can’t choose their family, but they can choose their friends, and this shows that one only needs to spend time with people who they want to spend time with. And if one is in a relationship, there is going to be no reason for them to be with someone who treats them badly.
The Best Scenario
When one experiences life in this way, it is going to make it a lot easier for them to have a fulfilling life. The people around them will have a positive effect on them, and one is likely to have the same effect on the people in their life.
This could be how one’s life has been for as long as they can remember, or their life might not have been this way for very long. If this is what they are used to, it could mean that their needs were generally met during their early years, and if their life hasn’t been this way for long, it can be a sign that they had a less-than nurturing childhood.
A Big Difference
On the other hand, one might not be able to relate to this experience, and this is going to mean that they will spend a lot of time being walked over. One might be aware of what is taking place within them, or they might be completely disconnected from it.
But even if they are aware of what is taking place within them, it is not going to have much of an effect on their life. Their life is going to be defined other people’s needs and feelings.
Gong along with what other people want (or what they think they want) is going to be what is normal, and this is naturally going to cause them to suffer. Their need to please others is going to stop them from being able to please themselves.
This may mean that they will go out when they don’t want to, and it could result in them being harmed in some way. One might realise that they need to stop focusing on other people’s needs.
What’s going on?
On one level, this is going to be what feels comfortable; if this wasn’t the case, there would be no need for them to behave in this way. Yet, if one was to take a look into why this feels comfortable, they may find that it’s due to how they feel about themselves.
At a deeper level, one could find that they feel worthless, and they could be disconnected from their aggression. It is then going to be the same as someone having all the tools they need to do a job, but all these tools are going to be out of power.
A Closer Look
What this can show is that their early years were a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met. This may mean that they were abused and/or neglected by their caregivers.
Through having these experiences, it could have set them up to feel worthless and to disconnect from their aggression. And in order to survive, they would have had to focus on their caregivers needs.
It is then going to be vital for one to realise their inherent value and to embrace their aggression. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.