Boundaries: Do Other People Walk Over You?

There are a number of elements that make up ones experience of reality, and these include what they see, hear and smell. What also play an important part are their feelings and thoughts.

When it comes to what they see, hear and smell, these are going to be things that other people will also be able to relate to. So if one was to talk about what is going on around them to another person, they will be able connect to what they are saying.

No Different

The other person will most likely be able to see, hear and smell the same things; it won’t be as if one is talking about something that can only be experience with a special headset. If another person was unable relate to their experience, it could show that one of their senses is impaired in some way.

For example, one will hear something, yet another person won’t be able to hear the same thing due to being deaf. Or, another person’s eye sight might not be very good, preventing them from seeing something.

Very Different

However, when it comes to the thoughts and feelings that one has, another person won’t always be able to relate to what is going on within them. What is going on externally could be seen as being objective, while what is taking place within them can be seen as being subjective.

Taking this into account, it is to be expected that another person won’t always experience the same things internally as they do. Still, this doesn’t mean that another person will end up telling them that their inner experience is incorrect.

Close Friends

When one expresses how they feel or shares their thoughts with the people in their life, they could generally be happy to listen to what they have to say. One is then not going to be told that they shouldn’t feel as they do or have their feelings disregarded.

Their thoughts will also been given consideration as opposed to being invalidated or dismissed. This doesn’t mean that the people in their life won’t ever question what they come out with, but this is not going to be the same as completely overlooking their inner reality.

Another Area

If they are in a relationship with someone who behaves in this way, it is undoubtedly going to enhance their life. Through having a partner like this, they are likely to feel seen and heard.

This will cause them to feel as though their partner values and respects them, which will mean that they will be more likely to serve their partner. One is also going to want to return the favour and to be for their partner in this way.

The Odd Occasion

This, of course, doesn’t mean that one won’t ever spend time around people who don’t respond to them in this way. But, through having so many people in their life who don’t behave in this way, it is unlikely to have much of an impact on them.

Being treated in this way is going to feel uncomfortable, and how they respond could depend on a number of different factors. If this was to take place where they work, they could speak out and if this doesn’t work, they might even walk away from the job.

Another Scenario

For someone else, they might find it hard to imagine what their life would be like if the people in their life actually paid attention to what is taking place within them. This could be a common occurrence when they are at work, too.

One could find that, in general, whenever they open up about how they feel or what they are thinking, what they share is invalidated or dismissed. Another person is not going to walk over their body, yet they will be walking over their reality.

Closed Down

As a result of this, they may find that they often keep what is going for them to themselves. One is then going to be hiding their true-self, but it will be a way for them to protect themselves from pain.

It might not even occur to them that they don’t need to experience life in this way and that there are people out there that won’t disregard their reality. This can be due to how long they have experienced life in this way for.

The Early Foundations

There is the chance that their early years were a time when their inner world was largely ignored. Perhaps their caregivers were too consumed by their own needs and were unable to see them as a separate individual.

It would have been as if their purpose was to fulfil their caregiver’s needs and to have the same inner experience. The outcome of this is that one would have come to believe that their inner experience didn’t matter and that it wasn’t safe for them to express what was taking place within them.

A New Beginning

For their life to change, one will need to realise that what is taking place within them does matter and they will need to feel safe enough to express what is taking place within them. When these two components are in place, they will no longer want to spend time around people who disregard their inner world.

There will be beliefs that they will need to change and they may even be carrying trauma that needs to be resolved. If they were physically abused during their early years, it would have traumatised their system.

Awareness
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If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk​