While some people have boundaries, there are others who don’t have them, and this is going to cause them to experience life differently. However, although one doesn’t have them, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this.
Instead, they can simply carry on with their life and continue to put up with all the challenges that will arise through not having them. The reason for this is that one is unlikely to realise why they are experiencing life as they are.
Therefore, regardless of whether one has them or not, this is likely to be what they have become accustomed to. And if one does have them, there is a strong chance that it is due to what their childhood was like.
Similarly, if one doesn’t have them, their childhood is also likely to be where the answers are to be found. As a result of this, what took place during their early years can have a big effect on how they experience life as an adult.
This is then just one example of how not everyone on this planet is equal, and how what is taking place within them can make it easier for them to handle life. But while this is the case, this is rarely something that people talk about when it comes to the advantages that some people have.
When they talk about these kinds of things, they are likely to focus on the resources that they have, for instance. It could then be said that they will be primarily focusing on what can be seen as opposed to what cant.
As if one doesn’t have boundaries, it might not matter what their background is or how much money they have in the bank. They can end up suffering in one way or another, and their mental and emotional state could be far worse that someone who has boundaries but less resources.
This could be hard for one to understand if they think that money solves everything, and they could believe that their life would be perfect. Now, clearly someone will have more options through having money, but that doesn’t mean that they will have the awareness that they need to work through their problems.
They could be completely out of touch with what is taking place within them, and this could then cause them run away from their pain. Thus, if they experience any kind of discomfort, they might be drawn to alcohol or drugs, for instance.
On the other hand, one might not have a lot of money but they could have a good connection with their inner world. And through having this connection, they might be able to elevate themselves out of their current position.
When boundaries are mentioned, it is not uncommon for one to think about how they relate to being able to say ‘no’. As through having them, it will allow someone to stand their ground and not to be walked over.
It is then not going to be hard to understand why they are so important and that if one doesn’t have them, it will be normal for them to be walked over. This can then set them up to feel like a victim.
Based on this, one’s relationships are going to be far healthier if they have boundaries. There will be no reason for them to lose themselves and to always go along with what other people want.
One will be able to listen to their needs and feelings and it will also allow them to respect other people’s personal space. The alternative would be for one to also go along with what others want, and this will have a negative effect on their wellbeing.
This may involve going out when they don’t want to and lending people money when they have got enough themselves. On the other side, it could mean that one will put up with people who are abusive.
Other people will see them as an easy target and one could see themselves as being a magnet for unhealthy people. These people won’t always need to observe one’s behaviour to know this, as they could just sense it.
To experience life in this way is going to create a lot of pain, but that’s not to say that everyone will deal with this pain in the same way. Along with this, there are going to be some people who will suffer more than others if they can’t stand their ground; this can be the case if one is a sensitive person.
And even though something might be overlooked by someone else, it could end up having a big impact on them. It is then going to be vital for them to be able to stand their ground and to listen to their needs and feelings.
Highly Sensitive Person
One is unlikely to be able to handle as much stimulation as the average person, and so if they say yes when they should be saying no, they will soon feel drained. And as it can be easy for them to take on what doesn’t belong to them, they will need to be very selective when it comes to who they spend their time with.
Yet when someone like this doesn’t have boundaries, they can end up ignoring what is taking place within them and end up focusing on what is place around them. This may have been what they had to do in order to survive when they were younger.
Their early years would have been a time when their caregivers didn’t understand how sensitive they were, and this then stopped them from receive the kind of care that they desperately needed. At the same time, these experiences could have caused or even increased their sensitivity.
If one can relate to this and they want to develop boundaries, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.