Although every human being on the planet has a head and a body, it doesn’t mean that each and everyone one of them feel connected to both of these parts of themselves. It may be hard for some people to understand how someone can be out of touch with a part of themselves, but, this is how some people are operating on this planet.
In this case, someone is not going to be a whole human being; they will be, in the words of R.D. Laing, a divided human being. And when it comes to this disconnection, the part that someone is likely to be out of touch with is their own body.
A Survival Mechanism
The body is where pain is experienced, so when there is a lot of pain experienced here someone can end up leaving their body. This will be a way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed.
So, in the same way that someone can leave an environment that isn’t safe; they can also leave their body when they don’t feel safe. And, in the same way that it will be essential for the person in an unsafe environment to soon find somewhere else and to settle down, it will be important for one to gradually get back in touch with their body.
Up and Then Down
This doesn’t mean that they will just be able to get out of their head and fall back into their body, though. As to how long it will take for them to reconnect with their body and to feel at home there can depend on what caused them to leave their body to begin with.
If, let’s say, they were walking home one night and heard a loud noise, they may find that it doesn’t take them long to settle down shortly after. They may find that they are able to be with how they feel and to gradually integrate the experience.
A Different Scenario
However, if someone violated their boundaries in some way, causing them to feel completely overwhelmed, it might take a little while for them to settle down into their body again. Until that time, they could find that it is normal for them to be in their head and, therefore, to feel on edge.
This could mean that they were physically attacked, for instance, and this would have been a big shock to their system. Ever so, with the right support and a way to resolve the trauma that they experienced, there is no reason why they can’t reconnect with their body and to feel safe enough to stay there.
Once someone is back in touch with their body and no longer trapped in their head, they will be able to connect to their feelings and needs. This will give them the ability to know what they want and what they don’t want, and to know if another person is trying to walk over them, amongst other things.
Through having this connection to themselves and feeling safe in their body, it will be a lot easier for them to live a life that is worth living, to feel at peace, and to live in the moment. And while they will be times when they will meet others people’s needs, they won’t be interested in pleasing others.
A Different Reality
When someone doesn’t have this connection with themselves, it is going to be normal for them to live in their head. As a result of this, they are likely to find it hard to connect with their needs and feelings.
In general, what is taking place in their body can be a mystery, and this may mean that they look towards other people to tell them what do to. Through being out of touch with the guidance that is in their body, they will be reliant on the external world for guidance.
This can cause one to come across as easy going and subservient, or they can come cross as though they have it altogether. Nevertheless, the way in which they come across will have very little to do with who they actually are.
Their main priority will be to please others; expressing who they really are is not going to be on their mind. Consequently, so much of their energy will be spent trying to please others and worrying about whether or not they have, making it hard for them to relax and to feel at ease.
If they were able to get out of their head and to connect to their body, they may find that they feel incredibly vulnerable. One could then come to believe that this is because it is not safe for them to in their body and to relax, and that they need to be on alert at all times.
Being focused on what is going on around them is then going to be a way for them to try to make sure that bad things don’t happen to them. The primary way for them to do this will be to please others.
A Deeper Look
There may have been a time in their life whet it wasn’t safe for them to just be, and this is then why they are unable to be this way now. Yet, if one is not aware of what took place, they can believe that this is just how life is.
In reality, they will be projecting the past onto the present, and not only will this cause them to perceive their life in a certain way, it will also cause them to attract people who will remind them of their past. During their early years, they may have been brought up by at least one caregiver who was unable to give them what they needed to grow and develop.
A Dangerous Environment
This person may have been emotionally volatile and abusive, causing them to feel as though their world was about to end at any moment. Therefore, they wouldn’t have felt safe enough to be in their body; what would have felt safe was being in their head (or dissociated from themselves) and on alert, ready to spot any danger that may arise.
Doing what they could to try to please this person would then have been their priority, meaning that they had to lose touch with their true-self. Additionally, there would have been the trauma that built up in their body.
Their early years wouldn’t have been a time when they received what they needed to develop in the right way; it would have been a time when they had to do everything they could to survive. If someone can relate to this, and they want to change how they experience life, they may need to reach out for external support.
This can take place with the assistance of therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.