Boundaries: Does Someone Lack Boundaries When They Don't Let Other People Speak?

If one was to have a conversion with a friend or a family member, for instance, there will be what they say and what the other person says. What this comes down to is that one will talk and they will listen.
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Two Parts

This doesn’t mean that they will speak for a certain amount of time and then they will listen for the same amount of time, as it is unlikely to work this way. Being able to talk will please them, and being able to listen will please the other person.

There is also the chance that one will enjoy listening to what the other person has to say and vice versa. If they are close friends, both of them will enjoy using their mouth and their ears.

A Deep Appreciation

When one speaks, and the other person listens, it is going to show that they care about what they have to say. One is then going to feel as though what they have to say is important and that they are appreciated.

Therefore, when one listens to the other person, they are also going to be sending out the same message. One is going to be treating their friend in the right way, and this is going to have a positive effect on their relationship.

The Small Things

Taking the time to listen doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it is something that plays a big part in being able to have a fulfilling relationship with someone. This is why it is often said that it is not the big things that make the difference in a relationship; it is the small things.

If one is close to someone, they are likely to find that this is because of all of the small things that have taken place. Each thing will have built on top of the other, and as time has passed, this would have created a strong connection between them.

Two Parts

Ultimately, behaving in this way will allow them to fulfil certain needs, and it will allow them to meet some of the needs that other people have. For one thing, they are going to have the need to be heard.

This need will be met when someone listens to them, and they will fulfil another persons need to be heard when they listen to what they have to say. After all, one is not an independent human being; they are an interdependent human being.

Boundaries

As one behaves in this way, it is likely to show that they know where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end. The reason for this is that they are not going to have the tendency to talk over other people.

One will be able to stay in their space (body) and to see that other people are not an extension of them; that they have their own needs and feelings. And as they behave in this way, it is likely to mean that they won’t have inclination to walk over others either.

One Step Too Far

If they did talk over someone, they might soon realise what has taken place, and this could cause them to take a step back. This could take place if they are passionate about something, for instance.

But as they have the ability to see when this takes place, it is going to be a lot easier for them to do something about it. Whereas if this was something they were not even aware of, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Another Experience

When one does behave in this way and they are not aware of it, it is likely to have a negative effect on their life. But even if they do have moments when they realise that they are doing something that is having a negative effect, it doesn’t mean that they will completely change their behaviour.

For example, they could stop what they are doing, and then do the same thing shortly after. Either way, it is going to be normal for them to talk a lot, and the people they spend time with are not going to be able say a lot.

Out of Balance

One is then not someone who doesn’t talk enough; they are someone who talks too much. Though being this way, they are likely to be drawn to people who don’t talk very much, and this is going to suit them.

Looking at this from a spiritual perspective, one has a throat charka that is spinning to fast, and the people in their life who don’t talk enough have one is that is spinning too slow. This is then why they find it hard to listen to other people.

The Consequences

When one talks over someone or doesn’t let them speak, the other person can feel as though they are being walked over. They can feel as though one doesn’t care about what they have to say, and that they don’t respect them.

And while there will be people who will put up with this kind of behaviour, there are going to be others who won’t. Their behaviour could have caused a number of people to walk away from their life.

A Deeper Look

Even though one walks over others, it doesn’t mean that their life has always been this way; there may have been a time in their life when they were walked over. Perhaps this is what took place when they were younger.

Through being treated in this way, it would have stopped them from being able to develop boundaries. This is then why they don’t know where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end.

Awareness

At a deeper level, one is likely to believe that if they don’t behave in this way, it will cause other people to walk over them. There may even be people in their life who don’t allow them to express themselves.

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk