In order for someone to be able to express their true-self, they will need to feel comfortable doing so. If they only feel safe when they are putting on an act, it will still stop this part of them from seeing the light of day.
How they generally behave around others is then going to be the result of how other people want them to behave (or how they think they want them behave). To experience life in this way is not going to allow one to feel as though they have any control over their behaviour.
If one is not aware of why they are experiencing life in this way, it could be normal for them to feel like a victim. Thus, one will believe that their life will only change if other people change.
A lot of their time is then going to be spent waiting around for something to happen, and they could have moments when they try to manipulate others. This could be seen as being immoral, but one might see this as the only option they have.
A Different Reality
When someone can express their true-self, they will be able to listen to what is taking place within them. If they were to change their behaviour, it can be something they have chosen to do.
It is then typically going to be a choice and not something they feel as though they have no control over. What this will also do is give one to ability to fulfil their own needs, and this will have a big effect on their life.
And through feeling as though it is safe for them to exist, it is going to be a lot easier for them to stand their ground. Therefore, if someone was to try walk over them, they would soon speak up.
Or, if they didn’t use their voice to let the other person know that they are doing something that is not appropriate, they could simply walk away. Their focus is going to be on taking care of themselves and not on pleasing the other person.
If this does cause the other person to express disapproval, it is unlikely to be something that will concern them. One could also believe that it is not other people’s responsibility to please them either.
Through behaving in this way, it is going to save them for a lot of unnecessary pain and drama. Now, this is not to say that they will never end up being comprised by others, but this is likely to be the exception as opposed to the rule.
This could be how one’s life has been for as long as they can remember, and this can mean that their early years were a time when their boundaries were respected. Yet, if one’s life hasn’t always been this way, it could be a sign that they were walked over during their early years.
One is then going to be only too aware of what it is like to experience life differently, and this could fill them with a deep sense of gratitude. The reason their life is now different is likely to be the result of what they have done to change it.
At one point in time, they would have made a decision to do something about what was taking place. And this decision might have been made after they had suffered for quite some time.
The first thing that might have taken place could have been for them to look online for answers. But regardless of what they did to change their circumstances, they wouldn’t have done it all by themselves.
One might have taken the first step, but it was through the support that they received through others that would have allowed them to move forward. At the end of the day, no one is their own island.
At times, this support might have taken place indirectly, and so one may have believed that they were not receiving any. This can be the case if one was to read something online, for instance; however, if someone didn’t write it they wouldn’t have been able to read it.
What the above shows is that if one is in a position where they are used to spending time around people who lack boundaries; their life doesn’t have to stay this way. If they reach out for the right support, they can change their life.
And when someone is sensitive, they can have an ever greater need to stand their ground than the average person. The reason for this is that it can be a lot harder for them to not only handle people who lack boundaries, but to also recover from what takes place through being around these kinds of people.
Highly Sensitive People
Through being so sensitive, it can be easy for them to tune into other people’s needs and to ignore their own. Due to this, it won’t matter if it is someone’s intention to take advantage of them, as they can end up going along with them.
It is then going to be in their best interest to be comfortable with being assertive, and to make sure that they don’t have people in their life who are unable respect their boundaries. If they were to spend time with people who don’t know where they begin and end and where other people begin and end, they will end up feeling overwhelmed in their presence.
When they spend time around people who are able to accept them, there will be no reason for one to put on an act. These people will be able to empathise with them and there will be no reason for one to feel as though there is something wrong with them.
If they were to say ‘no’ or that they need to take a break, they will be able to do so without being pressured to change their mind. This will then enable them to recharge their batteries and to function at their best.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist. Once they are able to stand their ground, they will no longer need to have people in their life who are not right for them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.