If one has boundary problems, they may end up hearing about how important it is to be able to say no. This could be a time when one will come across information that will talk about how they need to be assertive and to draw the line.
Through being able to behave in this way, it will allow them to fulfil their own needs and to protect themselves. On the other hand, if they are unable to do this, they will end up being walked over.
A Door Mat
It is then not going to matter if another person wants to take advantage of them, as this will take place anyway. For example, if someone asks them if they would like to do something and they end up saying yes, that will have been their own decision.
It won’t be as if the other person has told them they need to do something and tried to force them. But even though this is the case, one could wonder why they said yes and feel as though they want to get away.
And while one could face up to what has taken place, they could also end up blaming the other person. It can then be as if the other person made them say yes, and they can end up feeling like a victim.
Therefore, whether they were asked if they would like to do something or forced to do something, they can end up having the same experience. As they are unable to stand their ground, it will probably affect just about every area of their life.
When it comes to their job, the might only be able to get to a cetin level, and this can be because they are too easy going. The kind of assuredness that they would need to the next level is not going to be there.
Or, if they have been able to make progress in this area of their life, it could be a challenge for other people to listen to them. They could see them a pushover and there will then be no reason for them to respect them.
As for what it is like with their friends and family, it might not be a lot better for them. When they are with their family, they might find it hard to express themselves and to be taken seriously.
One could be seen as the one who doesn’t cause a fuss and is happy to go along with what other people want. This will allow one to please others but it won’t allow them to please themselves.
If this is what it is like with their friends and family, it is unlikely to be any different when it comes to their love life. When they spend time with someone, they could find that they give far more than they receive.
This could mean that this part of their life is simply not very fulfilling, but it could be even worse than this. What this could come down to is that they may have been with people who are abusive.
One can then be in a position where their mental and emotional health is affected through being around the wrong people and their body could also pay the price. And if this isn’t due to the stress they experience, it will due the result of being physically harmed.
It is then clear to see why one would need to be able to stand their ground and to say no at the right moments. Through being able to do this, it will make it a lot easier for them to express their true-self.
One will then have the ability to say yes at the right moments and to say no at the right moments. This is not to say that they will always make the right decision; what it will mean is that they will have a choice.
In the past, they would have only had one option and this is why their life would have been so difficult. Yet, if one was to go from one extreme to the other, their life would be just as bad as it was before.
While it would have been a challenge for them to stand their ground before, this can be something that is no longer an issue. Before they will have let in too much, but now they won’t be able to let anything in.
And although one can end up being this way after saying yes all the time, they could be how they have experienced life for as long as they can remember. If they are able to embrace life, it could be something that doesn’t happen very often.
On The Outside
If they were to reflect on their life, it could seem as though they are on the subs bench looking over at the players who have been chosen to play. It is then going to be normal for their needs to go unmet, and they might have moments when they disconnect from them.
As one is an interdependent human being, they are going against their own nature when they are unable to say yes. In order for them to function at their best, it will be vital for them to be able to open themselves up at the right time.
A Closer Look
What this can show is that their younger years were a time when they were taken advantage of, and this then caused them to close off from life. At this time, it could have been what kept them alive, but now that time has passed, it is simply causing them to suffer unnecessarily.
The ability to embrace life and to receive can be seen as what happens when one feels comfortable with their feminine nature. When one is comfortable with their masculine nature, they will be able to stand their ground.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist. This will give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place and to move forward.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.