Boundaries: Does Someone Need To Embrace Their Masculine Nature If They Are Used To Being Walked Over?
When someone is able to stand their ground, they are not going to have to worry about being walked over. Now, this doesn’t mean that they will never be walked over by others; what it means is that is that it won’t be something that happens on a regular basis.
As if it was something they were accustomed to, it would be normal for them to spend a lot of time thinking about how people don’t respect their boundaries. In fact, this could be something that ends up consuming their whole life.
A Big Difference
What this shows is how important boundaries are, when it comes to being able to live a fulfilling life. Yet, even without going this far, they are there to stop people from taking advantage of them.
Therefore, they not only play a part in one being able to thrive; they also play a part in them being able to survive. As a result of this, one’s life is clearly going to be a lot easier when they have them.
If one is able to stand their ground, this could be how they have been for as long as they can remember. Due to how their life has been for so long, this could be something that they take for granted.
When it comes to asserting themselves, this could be something that just happens, and there is then going to be no reason for them to think about it. For example, another person could ask them to do something or stand too close to them, and they could instantly feel the need to take action.
One is then going to be in touch with themselves, and they are going to feel comfortable enough to allow their feelings and needs to define their behaviour. This is going to be the difference, as if they didn’t feel comfortable doing this, they wouldn’t be able to stand their ground.
There is then going to be no reason for them to focus on doing what they can to please others; their priority will be to please themselves. And as they are the only ones who know what their needs and feelings are, this is going to be the right approach for them to have.
If one lived on a planet where people knew what their needs were, it wouldn’t matter if they listened to them. The people around them would know what is or is not acceptable.
But as one lives on planet where people are generally going to be unaware of what their needs are, this is not going to take place. This is why it is vital for one to be in touch with what is taking place within them and to feel comfortable enough to pay attention to it.
When someone is unable to stand their ground, there is a strong chance that they don’t feel comfortable enough to do so. And if this is something that they can’t relate to, it could be a sign that they haven’t taken the time to reflect on what takes place when they are walked over.
However, if they were able to take a step back from what is taking place and to get in touch with how they feel when this happens, it this may soon change. During this time, they could see that they end up being overwhelmed with fear and anxiety.
Or, they could find that they just go along with what other people want without experiencing anything. It could then seem as though they have no control over what is taking place.
In this case, it is likely to show that this behaviour has become so ingrained that it is as if they are possessed by someone or something else. The sooner one is able to connect to what is taking place within them, the sooner their life will improve.
It could then be said that the reason other people walk all over them is because they allow this to happen. If they felt comfortable standing their ground, they would have no reason to tolerate this behaviour.
The discomfort that arises within them stops them for being able to listen to themselves, and this is what needs to change. In addition to this, they could believe that they deserve to be walked over.
A Closer Look
One might find it hard to understand why they would feel this way; especially as it is so important for them to stand their ground. At one point in their life, they may have lived in an environment where it wasn’t safe for them to listen to themselves.
If this was during their early years, it could mean that they were abused by their caregivers; ignoring their needs and feelings would then have been a way for them to survive. How they were treated would have caused them to suffer and it would have made it harder for them to handle life as an adult.
Through being treated in this way, it is not going to be a surprise for them to have the tendency to do what other people want. And even though time has passed, they can believe that they would be putting their life at risk if they behaved differently.
Unless the fear that is within them starts to subside, it won’t be possible for them to assert themselves. They will keep doing what other people want and this will continue to have a negative effect on their life.
If one can relate to this and they want to move forward, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. This will give them the opportunity to deal with what is taking place within them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.