Boundaries: Does The Fear Of Being Harmed Stop You From Saying No?

While some people feel comfortable standing their ground, there are others who don’t feel this way. As a result of this, it is going to mean that their experiences on this planet are going to be extremely different.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that the former are going to be successful and the latter are not, what it comes down to is that their day to day interactions are likely to be different. And because of this, it could mean that the level of success that these people experience will be different.

Two Options

When one has the ability to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’, it is going to show that each word means something. One is then expressing their truth and they are not focused on saying the ‘right’ thing.

It is through being this way that one is able to use both words as opposed to only having the ability to use one. This doesn’t mean that one will always be able to listen to themselves, but this is likely to be something that generally occurs.

One Option

If, on the other hand, one could only say ‘yes’, it could be said that this is not a word that means anything. The reason for this is that one will only be using this word because they are unable to say anything else.

In this sense, one is unable to express their truth and they are focused on saying the ‘right’ thing. This is not to say that one won’t have movements when they listen to themselves, but this is going to be the exception.

A Reflection

Each person’s life is then going to be a reflection of their ability or inability to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’. It is then clear to see as to why there is going to be a difference is how each person experiences life.

What this comes down to is that it is going to be a lot easier for one to live the kind of life they want to live when they can use both of these words. Not only will one be in touch with themselves, but they will also be able to act upon what is taking place within them.

On Track

when it comes to the interactions that they have with others, it will be normal for them to show up, so to speak. If they want to do something, they will let someone know, but if they don’t, they will also let them know.

Through having this approach, there is a strong chance that their career will also be a lot more fulfilling. Form time to time, this could mean that other people will see them as stubborn, among other things.

Part of Life

However, as it is not possible to always please other people, this is something that is to be expected. Ultimately, one’s intention is not to do what other people want, it is to fulfil their own needs.

One could realise that pleasing others will allow then to feel good in the short-term, but that it won’t allow them to lead a fulfilling life. Along with this, one is also likely to believe that it is not always possible for other people to go along with what they want.

A Half-Life                                               
                                                          
When one is unable to use both of these words, they could feel as though they are on the sidelines. Other people could see then as easy going and agreeable, and this means that they won’t always realise what is going on for them.

But if someone was to bring up their behaviour, they could say that one needs to stand up for thesmevles. And while this could be someone who is there to assist them, they could also be in a position where they walk over others.

A Match

This would then show that even though one needs to change their behaviour, the other person also needs to change their behaviour. But while this is the case, they could cause one to feel as though they are the only ones who need to change.

Still, as one is unable to stand their ground, it is going to be normal for them to come into contact with people like this. One way of looking at this would be to say that one doesn’t take up enough space and the people they are drawn to take up too much.

Pain

So, through saying ‘yes’ when one should be saying ‘no’, they are going to be used to feeling angry, frustrated, powerless and hopeless. They can come to the conclusion that their life is out their control and that there is nothing they can do.

Even so, if one was to change their behaviour and to say ‘no’, this could also cause them to experience pain. In fact, this could be an understatement, as one could end up experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety.

Overwhelmed

Therefore, even though one is suffering through doing what other people want, it is not as bad as what they would have to experience if they were to listen to thesmevles. Saying ‘no’ is then not something they can feel comfortable saying, it is something that causes them to feel as though their life will come to an end.

As one is only saying ‘no’, it could be said that there is no reason for one to have this experience. Nevertheless, there could have been a time in their life when their inner experience was perfectly normal.

Survival

During this time, going along with what other people wanted may have kept them alive, and although times have changed, the trauma that they experienced has stayed within them. This is likely to relate to what took place at the beginning of their life, and this can then mean that they were physically abused.

Throughout these years, it wouldn’t have been safe for them to stand their ground; if they did, it would have caused them to experience even more harm. The outlook they have as an adult is then how they life was as a child.

Awareness
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If one can relate to this and they want to move forward, it will be necessary for them to work with a therapist. The trauma that is within them will need to be dealt with and as this takes place, their life will change.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/