​Boundaries: Is Someone A Victim If Other People Walk Over Them?

When one can stand their ground, it is going to be a lot easier for them to handle life. The reason for this is that they will know that they have the ability to say no when they need to, and to walk away from a situation that isn’t good for them.
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Drawing the Line

Therefore, if they were asked to do something that wasn’t in their best interest, there will be no reason for them to go along with it. Speaking up can be something that just takes place naturally, without them needing to think about it.

And if they were to walk away, it could take place after they have thought about what would be the best thing for them to do. Or, they may have spoken up and found that nothing has happened.

Taking Action

So, regardless of what approach one takes, it will show that they are not willing to simply sit around and to go along with what the other person wants. Instead, this will be a time when they are aware of their own needs and feelings.

What is taking place within them will play a big part in how they behave, and it could be said that this will be the ideal. After all, it is not always going to be possible for other people to know what is or what isn’t right for them.

Two Sides

On one side, there will be the people who will try to walk over them and on the other side; there will be people who are not interested in doing so. However, if one didn’t have the ability to stand their ground, someone could walk over them even if that’s not their intention.

What this shows is how important it is for one to let other people know if something isn’t right for them. Through being able to do this, it will stop the people who value them from causing them problems.

Protection

When one has boundaries, it will allow them to express their true-self, and this is going to stop them from having to play a role. Now, there may be moments when this takes place, but it won’t be something they are accustomed to.

One is not only going to be in touch with their needs and feelings, they will also feel safe enough to listen to what is taking place within them. And as they feel comfortable doing so, it will be normal for them to behave in this way.

Drama Free

Naturally, this is going to save them a lot of drama, and this will allow them to use their time and energy in more productive ways. As soon as a problem arises, they will be able to do something about it, or if it this doesn’t take place, it might not be long until it is dealt with.

As a result of this, their relationship are going to be far more fulfilling that they would be if this wasn’t the case. The people they are close to are going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing.

Two Ways

There is then going to be how they behave and how the people around them respond to them. Through being around people who are not interested in walking over them, it will give them the support that they need to continue to behave in the same way.

Thus, in the same way that one will be nourished by the food they eat, they will be nourished by the people they spend time with. This comes down to the fact that one is an independent human being.

A Different Reality

But while there are going to be plenty of people on this planet who experience life in this way, there are going to be others who don’t. Consequently, they are going to be used to being walked over by others.

If they were to think about how long their life has been this way for, they may find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember. It is then now how they are experiencing life; it is just how life is.

A Victim

One could believe that other people are out to cause them harm, and that there is nothing that they can do about it. It is then not going to be much of a surprise if one feels completely powerless.

This could cause them to avoid others when they can, and this may mean that they spend a lot of time by themselves. But when they spend time with others, they are going to be used to feeling like a door mat.

All Areas

When they are at work, there is going to be how their colleagues treat them, and this could be a time when they are not given the respect they feel they deserve. Along with this, there will be how their friends and family treat them, and they might treat them ever worse.

And if they are in an intimate relationship, they could be with someone who takes advantage of them. Being with this person is going to wear them down, and they might think about what it would be like for them to be with someone who appreciates them.

A Deeper Look

Even though one can see themselves as a victim, it doesn’t mean that this is the complete truth. What is clear is that in each situation they have where they are walked over there is a perpetrator and a victim.

Yet, even though the person who walks over them is different, they are the person who shows up each time. So as they are the common denominator, it shows that they are not simply an observer of what is taking place.

The Cause

If one was to get in touch with what is taking place within them, they may find that this is what feels comfortable. The only way their life is going to change is if this is something that no longer feels comfortable.

And the reason being walked over can feel comfortable can be due to what took place when they were younger. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected by their caregiver/s.

The Outcome

Through being treated in this way, they would have come to feel worthless, and it would have caused them to disconnect from their aggression. So not only will one feel as though they deserve to be walked over, they will also be out of touch with the energy that they need to stand their ground.

If, on the other hand, one valued themselves and they were in touch with their aggression, there would be no reason for them to behave in this way. They would realise that something isn’t right and they would action.

Awareness

There is the chance that one is carrying trauma, and this will need to be dealt with in order for them to have boundaries. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk