Busyness: Do Some People Stay Busy To Avoid Themselves?

It is not uncommon for someone to say they are busy, and while this could be how their life is during certain times, it could be a way of life. In this case, it won’t matter what time it is or what day it is, as they will have things to do.

This could be how they have been for most of their life, or it could be a relatively new experience. Through living life in this way, they are not going to have much time to think, and they are likely to experience a lot of stress.
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Approval

But regardless of what the consequences are, it doesn’t mean that other people will always notice what is taking place. This is partly because they can believe that being busy is a ‘good’ thing, and they could also be just as busy.

They are then experiencing life in the same way and it is not going to stand out. The feedback they get from others could validate their behaviour, and this can cause them to believe that they are doing the ‘right’ thing.

Two Options

One reason why being busy all the time is often seen as a ‘good’ thing, is because hard work is often valued in today’s world. This is not to say that being busy means that someone is working hard, as they could simply be wasting time.

Yet when someone is busy working, they can be seen as living their life in the ‘right’ way. If someone isn’t busy, they can be seen as though they are not doing enough, or that they are lazy.

Guilt

Therefore, if someone isn’t busy, they can end up feeling guilty, and it will then be normal for them to feel though they are doing something wrong. Staying busy can then be a way for them to avoid how they feel, and while this will lead to approval, they are going to be ignoring their own needs.

Human beings are not machines, and even if they were, they would still need time to rest. While it could be said that we are all here to make a difference in some way, it is still important for us to look after ourselves.

Burnout

In the short-term, someone might not notice how being busy all the time is affecting their life; but as time passes, it could soon catch up with them. If they were to pay attention to their feelings, they might soon realise what is happening.

However, if one is busy, they might not have time to pay attention to how they feel. The information their feelings provide is then going to be overlooked, and they could then carry on as normal.

Time Goes By

It could then start to have an impact on their physical health, and this may mean that they end up going on some kind of medication. During someone’s early years, they may find that they are able to handle the stress of always being busy.

This is unlikely to be the case as they get older, and they can then find that it is no longer possible for them to live life in the same way. The longer someone lives in this way, the harder it can be for them to step back and to re-evaluate their life.

Stepping Back

If someone was to step back, it will give them the chance to look into why they always need to be busy. At first, there might be resistance, and their mind could find a way to stop them from taking a closer look.

What they could also do is take the time to reflect on when they first started to experience life in this way. In the beginning, they might find that nothing comes to mind, and it will then be important for them to be patient.

A Recent Occurrence

When someone has only just started to experience life differently, it is naturally going to be a lot easier for them to find out why their life has changed. They may find that they changed after a relationship came to an end.

Staying busy will then be a way for them to avoid the pain that they experienced during this time. The pain is still going to be in their body, but through being busy, they can come to believe that is had disappeared.

Divided

As a result, they are no longer going to be a whole human being; they are going to be living on the surface of themselves. Their body can then be seen as something they need to control.

This could then mean that their relationships also suffer, and this is because they are going to be out of touch with how they feel. The interactions they have with others could lack depth, and all the time they are unable to get in touch with how they feel, it will be a challenge for them to experience intimacy.

Not Enough

What can also play a part here is if someone feels as though they are not good enough; it will then be a challenge for them to just be. Their need to be busy all the time is then a way for them to feel as though they are enough.    

However, no matter what they do or what they achieve, they are unlikely to be able to change what is taking place within them. The only way for them to do this will be for them to face themselves.

Justification

As a result of what is taking place within them, it can be normal for them to create a life where they need to be busy all the time. Perhaps they find that they are unable to make ends meet, or that they have certain deadlines to meet.

Through being out of touch with why they are experiencing life in this way, they can justify their behaviour. It is then not that they want to live in this way; it is that they have to live in this way.

Awareness

If someone is in this position, and they want to experience life differently, it will be important for them to find out why they are running away from themselves. During this time, they might need the assistance of a therapist and/or some kind of support group.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ ​​​​​