When it comes to what someone does for a living, there is the chance that it is a big part of who they are. In fact, it might go even further, with one seeing this area of their life as their whole life.
One is then not just going to go to work and then to leave this part of their life when they come home; it will be something that they live and breathe. During their time off, then, they will most likely spend a lot of time thinking about their job.
Along with what goes through their mind when they are not at work, could be what they have to do for their job. This could be work that they have to do or it could be work that they choose to do.
However, due to how connected they are to what they do, they might not even think about having time to do other things. They could say that what they do is so enjoyable that they don’t have the need to do anything else.
Therefore, in the same way that cement will be what keeps bricks together, their job will be what keeps their life together. Without this job, their life would probably be radically different.
But, as just about every waking hour of their life revolves around their job, this is not going to be much of a surprise. It would be very similar to the effect that a break up would have on someone if they did practically everything with their partner.
Being in a relationship would have defined who they were, which is why this would also hit them hard. If there is no separation between someone and their job, they might not even have time to have a relationship.
Or if they are with someone, this person might be used to being overlooked and not feeling as though one values them. Even when one does spend time with them, their mind could be somewhere else.
In The Middle
Now, someone like this could have a very well paid job and they could be right at the top of the hierarchy, so to speak. As a result of this, this could be something that allows them to receive a fair amount of positive feedback from others and to experience a fair amount of stress.
At the same time, one might not have a job like this, yet it could still be something that they find deeply rewarding. In general, the stress that they do experience could simply keep them on their toes and not be something that is too much for them to handle.
If, for some reason, they were to lose their job, it could be incredibly difficult for them to accept what has taken place. The world won’t have come to an end, but it could seem as though their world has.
In addition to losing their job, it could seem as though they have lost themselves. Clearly, they will still be the same person physically, yet they won’t be the same person when it comes to their identity.
All at Sea
The job that they had would have provided them with lot of structure and, now that this has gone, they will have lost their shape. Like jelly that is no longer in a mould, they will be all over the place.
Furthermore, they could end up experiencing a fair amount of shame, setting up to feel as though they have no value. Losing their identity will be bad enough and it will be even worse for them to feel as though they are worthless.
A New Beginning
One thing that they could do is to try to find another job as soon as they can do solve this challenge. If this was to take place, it might allow them to put this experience behind them and to gradually settle down.
There is, of course, the chance that this won’t happen, meaning that one will need to try another approach. Regardless of whether they won’t be able to get another job like they had or if they simply need to wait a little while, it will be essential for them to redefine themselves.
What they could do is to decide to no longer base their identity on one area of their life, which will stop them from putting all their eggs in one basket, so to speak. Through having many different interests in their life, they will be less likely to be affected if one area isn’t going well.
If one area of their life is not going well, they will have plenty of others interests to keep them going. This will allow them to have an expanded sense of themselves, too; seeing that they are a multifaceted being.
As for feeling worthless, what they may find is that the loss of their job triggered shame that was already within them. Perhaps, it was this shame that caused them to become so attached to their job to begin with.
Through feeling so flawed, they believed that the only way for them to experience a sense of value was to become someone and to achieve something. Being out of touch with their inner value would have set them up to externalise their value.
If this is the case, and one has the means to do so, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.