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It has been said that planet earth is the plane of duality and this can be noticed by the fact that there are usually two parts to everything. For example, there is hot and cold, up and down, and fast and slow.
There is also “good” and “bad” in the world, and, just as these two things exist in the outer world, they also exist in someone’s inner world. This means that in addition to the “bad” that is outside them, they will also have “bad” inside them. Part of Life Therefore, although someone can create the impression that they are perfect or that they only possess positive energy, for instance, this will be an illusion. They, like everyone else on this planet, will have “bad” inside them. Likewise, if someone creates the impression that they are worthless and are no good, this will be an illusion too. They will be out of touch with their “good” but it will still be inside them. A Closer Look Now, when it comes to what one believes is “bad” and what they are likely to have disowned, it can relate to what makes them feel uncomfortable and what society tells them is “bad”. Feelings such as shame, hate and rage and traits that are seen as being unacceptable can then exist just outside of their awareness. In other words, these feelings, as well as others, will be held in their unconscious mind/body and their unacceptable traits will be repressed. Denying these parts of themselves will allow them to function and to fit in. Totally Estranged As these unacceptable parts of themselves have been pushed out of their conscious awareness, it means that they won’t be aware of them. Or, if they do come into contact with them, it won’t be long until they return to how they were before. Nonetheless, just because they have disowned these unacceptable parts of themselves, it doesn’t mean that these parts won’t have an effect on their life. In one way or another, these parts will leave their mark on their life. One Outcome For one thing, not being in touch with their “negative” feelings can make it hard for them to connect to their “positive” feelings. Ultimately, it is not possible for one to pick and choose what feelings they experience; they either have all of them or they have none of them. To get around this, they can end up being reliant on external sources, such as food or drink, to experience certain feelings. Another part of this is that not being connected to their feelings can mean that they will live on the surface of themselves, in their head. The Mirror When it comes to the traits that they have disconnected from, it can be normal for them to come into contact with people who possess them. But, as they won’t be able to acknowledge, let alone accept, the parts of themselves that are perceived as being bad, they probably won’t see the connection. How these people behave can really press their buttons and they can judge them, but it won’t occur to them why this is. Instead, these people can be seen as being the problem or as having serious issues. Another Part And, even though one will have lost touch with these traits, it doesn’t mean that they won’t still behave in ways that are a reflection of them. For example, they could be uncomfortable with being selfish and although they deny this part of them, they can still act in ways that are selfish. Thanks to the defences that their ego-mind has in place, they won’t be able to recognise when this takes place. If they were to acknowledge this, it could go against the idealised false-self that they have in place. Greatly Weakened Keeping these parts of themselves out of their conscious awareness is going to take a lot of energy. Additionally, each part of themselves that they have repressed will also be made up of energy. These parts will be made up of “negative” energy but, at the core, they will be made up of energy that is neutral. Thus, if a lot of their energy is being used to keep their darkness at bay and a lot of their life force has taken on a “negative” expression, the less energy they will have with which to create a fulfilling life. Standing in the Middle For this to change, it will be necessary for them to accept that they have both “good” and “bad” inside them. To do this, they will need to surrender to what is actually taking place inside them and to be with it. At this point, they could fear what they will encounter if they were to do this and worry about what other people would think of them if they were to admit to having certain “negative” feelings and traits. By being with themselves and facing what comes up, making peace with each part, not only will they be helping themselves; they will also be helping the world. Making a Real Difference The reason for this is that when someone can accept that they are made up of both “good” and “bad” elements and they start to acknowledge the parts of themselves that are not pleasant, they won’t need to project these parts into others. Facing and resolving their own darkness will then allow them to truly be the change that they want to see in the world. The alternative is for them to be oblivious to their own darkness, to then project it into others and to try to change the world. In reality, they will just be trying to change their own shadow and will most likely do more harm than good. Awareness To engage in this process, one may need to reach out for external support. A therapist or healer will provide them with the support that they need to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves. Like scaffolding on a building, they will allow one to develop their own presence until they are strong enough to hold the space for themselves. At this stage, they will have the ability to acknowledge the parts of themselves that are not currently an expression of “love and light” without beating themselves up.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Human beings have many needs and one need, a need that is a key part of what will allow them to live a fulfilling existence, is their need to express themselves. This need will include being able to behave how they want to behave, to say what they want to say and to be creative.
Each of these things will allow them to express their true-self, and, the more aligned their external world is to this part of them the happier they are likely to be. This doesn’t mean that it will be possible for someone to always express their true-self, but, naturally, there is a difference between being able to express it and being unable to do so. A Different Experience However, although this is a very important need, someone can be in a position where they find it difficult to express themselves. What could be normal is for them to do what they can to please others. As a result of this, in general, what they say and do is not going to be coming from their true-self. It will be more accurate to say that a lot of what they say and do will be coming from their false-self. Unstable This part of them will have been built on top of their true-self and this creation won’t reflect their true needs or feelings. While their true-self will be a reflection of what it is that they need and what is going on for them, their false-self will be a reflection of what other people need and what is going on for them. Consequently, this creation is not going to have firm foundations, it will be the equivalent of a building that has been built on sand. This part of them will also be reliant on the sustenance of others and won’t be able to source anything from within. The Norm Nonetheless, even though this is what will typically take place, they might not be fully aware of what is going on. What this can illustrate is that they have been in this way for most of their life. If they do get frustrated and even angry from time to time, this won’t be enough to make them do something about their life. Still, as time goes by and more “negative” emotions build up, they could end up taking a step back and looking into what they can do to change their life. Trapped From the outside, they will probably appear to be as free as anyone else; they will have a body and a voice. This will allow them to go where they want to go and to express themselves. Nonetheless, they won’t feel free on the inside; it will be as though they are wearing an invisible straight-jacket. Unlike how it would be if they were wearing this type of jacket, they will be able to move their body and to walk wherever they want, yet this won’t really matter. Confusion At this point, it could be said that it is strange that someone has the freedom to express themselves but they are unable to do so. In a way, it will be like one has a car that they don’t want to drive. What they need in order to get from where they are to where want to be will be in front of them but they won’t be able to take the next step. If this is how they have been for as long as they can remember, it could show that what took place during their early years had a big effect on them. Back In Time At this stage of their life, they may have been abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis. What this would have done is traumatised them and stopped them from developing a felt sense of safety and security, among other things. Being in their body, connected to their true-self and thus, expressing themselves, wouldn’t have felt safe. What would have felt safe was being focused on their caregiver/s and doing what they wanted, along with what they think they wanted. An Adaption How they behave as an adult, as frustrating as it is, will be what allowed them to survive very early on. If they did express themselves, they may have been physically harmed or abandoned. Deep down, this is what they believe will happen if they were to express themselves. Additionally, their nervous system is likely to carry most, if not all, of the charge that they experienced all those years ago. Totally Ineffective Taking this into account, it is unlikely that simply changing their thoughts and behaviour will allow them to break free from their “straight-jacket”. What this approach may do, that’s if it works, is allow them to disconnect from what is actually going on for them. So, as trivial as being a “people pleaser” may appear to be, it can be anything but trivial and a sign that something far deeper needs to be looked at and resolved. The trouble is that if one lives in a society that is mind-centric, the rest of their being can end up being overlooked. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone is in a position where one area of their life is not going as they want it to go and they experience a lot of “negative” feelings, they can end up doing what they can to change their life. This can be seen as the right approach to take; after all, simply putting up with what is going on is not going to solve anything.
The only thing that this will do is cause them to suffer and this area of their life will probably get worse over time. Thus, by drawing the line and taking action, they will be taking their life into their own hands. A Few Examples This could mean that they are in a relationship that is not going well or they could be single. Then again, they could have a job that is anything but fulfilling or they could be out of work and looking for a job that lights their heart on fire. Irrespective of what their challenge is, there will be where they are and there will be where they want to be. What steps they take will, of course, depend on what it is that is troubling them. Time for a Change Now, assuming that they have a job that is soul-destroying, they will want to find somewhere else as soon as possible, In addition to the issue that they have with the job, they could work for someone who is, to be polite, unpleasant. As a result of this, they will feel bad when they are there and they will probably feel bad when they are not there. There could be things that they enjoyed doing before that they no longer enjoy doing. The Driver Due to how unpleasant it is for them where they work, their primary need could just be to feel better. This pain, pain that may have been bubbling away for many, many months, will be fuelling their need get away. Thanks to how consumed they are by this pain, they might not spend too much time thinking about working somewhere that is a good fit for them. This can be seen as a sign of how fed up they are with what is currently taking place. A New Beginning Before long, as they have been putting in the work, they could find somewhere else to work. Once this has taken place, they could be incredibly relieved and grateful that they have been able to cut their ties with their last job. As the weeks and months pass, everything could be fine and then, out of nowhere, they could get a sense of déjà vu. Somehow, they will have ended up in a job that is very similar to the previous one, and the manager could be very similar, too. Deeply Frustrated At this point, how they felt before could pale in comparison to how they feel now. It could be as though they are in a very bad dream, a dream that they are unable to wake up from. They could come to the conclusion that they are very unlucky and even believe that someone or something “out there” is punishing them. The fight that they had before could also have left them. What’s going on? It could be said that one did the right thing by leaving where they worked. Without a doubt, staying there would have done them more harm than good in the long run. Even so, this was a time when they were in a place of resistance and, therefore, embodied the “negative” feelings that went with this experience as opposed to being focused on what they wanted and embodying the feelings that went with this experience. In other words, it is not just what one does in the outer world that shapes their reality; it is also what is taking place in their inner world. Two Parts The reason why what is taking place inside them is as important, if not more important, than what they do is because one is not merely an observer of their reality – they are a co-creator of it. However, if they are strongly attached to their ego-mind, this is likely to be hard for them to accept. As far as this part of them, along with their eyes, is concerned, they will be separate from everything and everything. Consequently, their thoughts, emotions and beliefs won’t have an effect on their reality. Solid Science What is taking place inside them will define what they are vibrating and their vibration will define what they both attract and repel. Therefore, if they do the right thing but they are vibrating at the “wrong” frequency, they are unlikely to achieve their desired outcome. This might sound a bit airy-fairy and yet, this is something that is backed up by the law of resonance, which is a quantum physics law. This law states that everything is made up of vibrating energy, and, in order for two things to be pulled together, they need to be an energetic match. Awareness What this emphasises is that there is the be-ing and there is the do-ing and, if these two things don’t match up, their desired outcome is unlikely to be materialised. The trouble is that one most likely lives in a society that is extremely extroverted. In this society, the effect that their inner world has on their outer world is unlikely to even be acknowledged, let alone dismissed. A natural outcome of this is that they, along with most of their fellow citizens, can see themselves as a victim of circumstances.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
A lot has been said in recent years about the number of people who are taking their own life and how this has got worse over time. Along with this, there are the people who often think about calling it a day.
With this in mind, it would be easy to assume that if someone wants their life to end, they will either end it or they will often think about taking this step. Thus, if someone doesn’t do the former or think about doing the latter, they won’t want their life to end. Two Levels As accurate as this may appear to be, what it won’t take into account is that human beings have both a conscious and an unconscious mind. What this means is that just because someone doesn’t want something at the first level, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want it at the second level. In this context, then, one might not try to end their life or even think about doing so, but they could live in such a way that shows that this is what they want at a deeper level. Now, this may mean that they will often end up in life or death situations, but it could typically be far more subtle than that. Common Examples If they are pulled, both consciously and unconsciously, into situations like this, it could mean that they will be used to experiencing a lot of adrenalin. So, they could often drive at high speeds. They could often do what they can to antagonise others, getting into a lot of fights as a result. Or, if they don’t drive really fast or antagonise others, they could often spend time in the company of those that do. Under The Radar Conversely, if it is not this extreme, it could mean that they often drink a lot of alcohol or take a lot of drugs. Also, they may only be aroused sexually if they are with someone who physically harms and humiliates them. Yet, even this could be going a bit far and they may do things that are even harder for the average person to pick up on. Still, if another person is in a similar position to them, they might not notice what is taking place anyway. It’s Obvious Then again, it is usually a lot easier for someone to notice one of their own issues in another, due to their ego-minds defences, than it is for them to notice it in themselves. Ergo, if one is killing themselves in a very slow and subtle manner, they might soon notice if another person is going about this in a faster and more direct manner. What they see will be a more exaggerated expression of what they are doing, so it will stand out. But, as it is so much greater, and assuming they are unwilling to go within themselves, they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak. A Few Examples If one doesn’t do anything extreme, or anything that is perceived as being extreme in the society that they live in, it could mean that they are a workaholic. Through being this way, they won’t give themselves the chance to recharge and to take care of their other needs. This can mean that they will eat things that are not good for them, not exercise and primarily focus on other people’s needs. Furthermore, they could be in a relationship with someone who treats them badly or is just not a good match. From The Outside Thanks to how hard they work and if they “selflessly” put other people’s needs first, there can be plenty of people who believe that one is a model citizen. One is then going to be slowly heading towards the edge of a cliff but this won’t be picked up on. As the years go by, one could become more and more exhausted, yet they could continue to do the same thing. There could come a point in time when they burn themselves out or have a life-changing illness and simply can’t carry on in the same way. The Outcome At this point, some people could say that they are “unlucky” or “unfortunate” and that they don’t deserve to be this way. In their eyes, one should be living a good life due to what they have both contributed and done for others over the years. As correct as this viewpoint may appear to be, it will be nothing more than a surface-level assessment. What it won’t take into consideration is that one will have been abusing themselves for many, many years and it will most likely be this and all the stress that went with it, not “back luck” or “misfortune”, that will have lead to their downfall. What’s going on? Without realising it, they have been spending most of their time on this planet doing what they can to destroy themselves. Although they have treated some people well, they haven’t treated themselves well. What this is likely to show is that, deep down, they feel worthless and hate themselves. As a result of this, they don't believe that they deserve to be here or are worthy of life and want their life to end – this is seen as the only way for them to free themselves from their misery. Back In Time If they felt different, there would be no reason for them to abuse themselves. But, as they feel so worthless, treating themselves badly will be seen as what they deserve and it will feel comfortable. What this can illustrate is that their early years were brutal, with this being a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Through being egocentric at this stage of their life, what took place would have been taken personally. Awareness Ultimately, how they were treated was a reflection of what was going on for their caregiver/s. No matter how they were treated during this stage of their life, the truth is that they are inherently valuable and deserve to exist. However, for them to realise this at the core of their being and to start treating themselves with the love and respect that they deserve, they will need to deal with their inner wounds. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Fight Instinct: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their Fight Instinct?4/4/2021
There is a source of energy or fuel that exists in each person on this planet, and this can be seen as their fight instinct. Another way of looking at this part of someone would be to say that it is their aggression.
In addition to giving them the energy that they need to take action and to get stuff done, it will also allow them to stand their ground and to say “no” when it is necessary. Considering all this, it is perfectly clear how important this part of them is. The Missing Piece However, as important as it is, not everyone is in touch with this part of their being. Due to this, there are numerous people who don't have access to this force and, as a result of this, suffer in one way or another. Now, if someone is in this position, it doesn’t mean that they will end up doing something about it. The reason for this is that they might not even realise that this part of them exists, let alone that they are out of touch with it. The Norm If they don’t realise that it exists, they can believe that this is just what they are like and they simply have to tolerate what is taking place. They could believe that they don’t have much control over their life and even see themselves as a victim. It could be as if someone or something “out there” is against them and this could cause them to experience a lot of fear and anxiety. But, as they are going to feel totally defenceless, why would they be any other way? Their Personality If someone in their life was to describe them, they could say that they are passive, easy-going, and lack and the oomph that is needed to succeed in life. They could say that as they lack backbone, they don’t go after their dreams and they allow people to walk over them. As frustrating as it may be for them if they were to hear such things, they might struggle to disagree with what has been said; that is, of course, if they are able to be honest with themselves. Still, if they believe that this is just what they are like, they won’t be able to do anything about it. Their Experience If the person who is in touch with their fight instinct has a roaring fire inside them, this person will just have ashes inside them. For one thing, their life is unlikely to be very fulfilling and they could spend a fair amount of time feeling depressed. They will feel helpless to do anything about what is going on and their life is likely to get worse over time, so there is going to be no reason for them to be full of life or to experience joy. Their life could be seen as a curse and something that they hope will soon come to an end. Stepping Back If one was able to detach from what is taking place and to think about how long they have been this way, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. After this, they could come to the conclusion that they were simply born this way. Thanks to their genetics, then, they won’t be like the people who can take action and assert themselves. They won’t have what these people possess, which will mean that they will have to live a miserable existence until their life comes to an end. Another Angle Although their mind will be completely convinced that this is the truth, it is highly likely that there is more to it. There is a strong chance that the reason their inner fire is not burning as it should is because of what took place during their early years. What took place at this stage of their life would have snuffed out their inner fire. Nonetheless, one's conscious mind will have forgotten all about what took place all those years ago, which is why they can’t see the connection. Joining the Dots If they were able to remember what took place, what they are like as an adult would probably make complete sense. This may have been a stage of their life when they were regularly traumatised. Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis, and this caused them to disconnect from themselves. They wouldn’t have felt safe enough to be in their body and it would have been too painful for them to inhabit this part of them. A Divided Being As they were deeply traumatised, their fight instinct/aggression would have been split off and they would have been forced to live on the surface of themselves. Being a nonentity and not expressing themselves would have been what felt safe; whereas being deeply rooted in their body and connected to their instincts would have been seen as a threat to their very survival. Quite simply, they won’t have felt safe enough to exist and while many years will have passed, not much will have changed. What is clear is that their nervous system is going to be carrying a lot of energy that needs to be discharged. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Although someone’s worth is inherent and is, therefore, not based on what they do, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. Instead, they can believe that their worth is based on what they do.
Nonetheless, this is not to say that this is something that they are consciously aware of. Even so, this belief will define how they see life and have a big effect on how they behave as a result. “On Top” Through having this belief in place, what could be described as a core belief, they could be very driven and highly motivated. Thanks to this, they could be in a position where they are seen as being “successful”. If so, this can mean that they will tick the boxes that need to be ticked when it comes to the societal view of what success is. They could have a big house, a well-paid job, a fancy car and a glamorous spouse. Endless Supply By being in this position, they could be used to receiving a lot of positive feedback from others. If they are in the public eye, this may often be provided by people who they don’t even know. Thanks to all this, they will be acknowledged by others and this will play a part in them feeling valuable. But, even if they are not “at the top” in their societies eyes, they can still be very driven, highly motivated and have achieved a number of things. One Direction Most, if not all, of their time, can be spent working towards a goal or a number of goals. No matter what they have achieved up until this point, their need to achieve will be as strong as ever. Once they have achieved something, they may allow themselves to truly embrace what has happened for a short time or they could soon be on the next thing. One is then going to be a human be-ing, but they will be more like a human do-ing. A Compulsion There could come a point in time where they will burn themselves out and end up feeling totally exhausted. This could be something that takes place after they have received a number of warning signs. If this does take place, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to change their behaviour, though. The need within them to carry on, in the same way, can be so strong that they soon go back to behaving how they were before. Avoidance As destructive as it will be for them to behave in this way, it will stop them from having to come into contact with how they feel deep down. It is due to these feelings that they are unable to heed the warning signs and to truly change. Ultimately, as their worth has been externalised, it will show that they don’t have a felt sense of their own worth. Deep inside them, there is a strong chance that they feel deeply worthless. Stuck On a Treadmill This is why they will continually need to achieve more as, if they don't, they will end up coming into contact with their true feelings. Most, if not all, of what they do won’t be coming from their need to express their true-self; it will just be a means to an end. There is the chance that they will typically be out of touch with their true-self. If they were in touch with this part of them and had a felt sense of their own worth, their priority would be to express themselves. Freedom They would feel good about themselves, which would take away a lot of pressure and anxiety, and this would allow them to just be. What they do would often be an end per se. When this is not in place, and to use an analogy, it will be like one is trying to find the gold at the end of a rainbow; irrespective of how close they appear to get to it, they will never attain it. What is clear is that they are carrying a lot of pain or else there would be no reason for them to act like a machine. Way Back What this can illustrate is that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a time when they were deeply traumatised. Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected on a regular basis. Either way, they wouldn’t have received the love and care that they needed to develop in the right way. In addition to how painful this would have been, thanks to being egocentric at this stage of their life, they would have personalised what took place. It’s Not the Truth The “negative” beliefs that were formed during this time might have matched up with what was going on, yet they are not the truth. The truth is that one’s worth is inherent and while it can be covered up, it can’t be taken away from them. For them to embrace their inherent worth and to be a human be-ing, they will need to question that they believe and to work through their inner wounds. This is something that is likely to take time. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone was to think about what it is that they want to experience, a number of things could come to mind. They may want to have a successful business and/or loving relationships, for instance.
Now, regardless of what it is that they want to experience, what is clear is that they will need to play their part. Naturally, what they want is not just going to drop out of the sky and into their lap. Moving Forward Through being clear about what it is that they want, it will be necessary for them to look into what they need to do to materialise their goal/s. Once they are clear about what it is that they need to do, they can take action. When it comes to how long this will take, it can all depend on what it is that they are working towards. But, the sooner they get the ball rolling, the sooner their life is going to change. Fairly Straightforward As the weeks and months go by, one may find that they are getting closer to what it is that they want to experience. Throughout his time, they may have made a note of a number of things that prove that they are getting closer. The notes that they have made, along with how different their life is, will make it even easier for them to keep going. If what they are doing is truly in alignment with their true self, this will have given them the ability to hang in there during the setbacks. The Main Reason It has been said that the purpose of a goal is not primarily to achieve or attain something, it is actually to grow. Therefore, although someone will be – or might be - pleased once they have arrived at this point, this is only one part of it. The other part of it is that thanks to what they have been through to get to this point, they will have been transformed. This process will have shaped them into someone else, into something else. The Complete Opposite On the other hand, someone could do all the “right” things, only to find that they don’t get very far. They could find that it’s often a case of one step forward, two steps back. Just as they get to a certain milestone, something could happen that sends them back a few steps. Or, if they were to get to the finish line, so to speak, it might not be long until their life goes back to how it was. Out of Their Grasp What they want is then always going to be out of their reach or it will be lost just as soon as it is attained. One could come to the conclusion that someone or something ‘out there’ is holding them back. According to their mind, this can be seen as the only thing that explains why their life is the way that it is. But, as they will have been doing all the “right” things, how else would they be? The Being and the Doing However, while taking the right steps externally is important, what is also important is be-ing in the right place internally. What this comes down to is that what they experience is not purely the result of what they do; it is also the result of what is taking place inside them. This means that their thoughts, emotions, feelings and beliefs are having an impact on what is taking place externally. If one is caught up in their ego-mind and sees themselves as just an observer of their reality, it will be hard for them to accept this. Solid Science The law of resonance, which is a quantum physics law, says that everything is made up of vibrating energy. When two things are vibrating at the same frequency, they will be drawn together. Considering this, to experience something, one will need to be vibrating at the same frequency as whatever it is that they want. This is why if one is not vibrating at the right frequency but they are doing all the right things, they will either repel what it is what they want or attain it and then push it away before long. The Missing Part Or, if they are able to hold onto what it is that they want, it will most likely take a hell of a lot of effort and be one big struggle. So, for one to be able to bring something in without needing to struggle and then to feel comfortable with it once it arrives, they will need to make sure that they are in the right place internally. Firstly, it will be a good idea for one to see if they actually believe that they are worthy and deserving of whatever it is that they want. This is a massive part of it and something that can take a little while to fall into place. Self-Purification If they can see that this is not the case, it is likely to show that they are carrying inner wounds that need to be resolved. By resolving these inner wounds, wounds that can be due to what they experienced during their childhood years and even whilst they were in their mother’s womb, they will be able to know what they are worthy and deserving. What this process will also do is change what they are vibrating and it will allow them to behave like a human being as opposed to a human doing. Also, through being mindful of what is taking place inside them and using their thoughts to create feelings that will keep their vibration “high”, it will be easier for them to pull in what it is that they desire. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone was to take a step back from their life and to reflect on their expectations, what they may find is a lot of these are “negative”. The expectations that they do have that are “positive” are then going to be overshadowed by those that are “negative”.
After this, they could find that their life has been this way for a very long time. What could also come to mind is that, in general, a lot of “negative” things do happen. A Natural Consequence As a result of this, one could believe that the only reason they expect “negative” things to happen is that this is what largely takes place. Their expectations are then secondary and what they experience is primary. This would be coming from the view that one is merely an observer of their reality. Through being this way, they could believe that their life is the way that it is due to them being “unlucky”. The illusion of Separation However, although their ego-mind, along with their eyes, will create the impression that they are just observing what is going on ‘out there’, this is not the truth. Ultimately, one is both the observer and the co-creator of their reality. This means that their “negative” expectations are having an effect on their reality. Therefore, once they start to change their expectations, they will be able to co-create a different reality. A Few Examples If they were to take a deeper look at their “negative” expectations, they may find that they have some, if not all, of the following:
One Approach At this point, it could be said that this shows that one has “cognitive distortions” and that they need to replace these distortions with “positive” expectations. This doesn’t mean that their life will always go as they want it to after this happens but it will certainly improve. Instead of “waiting for the other shoe to drop”, so speak, and being unable to enjoy the good that is in their life, they will be able to embrace the good times and to know that more will come. This will make it will be easier for them to be present and to surrender to what is. Two Levels Now, regardless of whether this approach does or doesn’t work, and even if it does, it might not work for very long, one won’t find out why they have these expectations. Still, it could be said that it doesn’t matter where they come from; what matters is that they are changed. Most likely, these “negative” expectations will be the result of what they actually experienced during their early years, if not before. In addition to the expectations that were created, then, would have been the emotional pain that went with it. A Surface level Approach Simply changing the “cognitive distortions” up top will allow someone to avoid the pain that goes with them, with this pain being held in their body. Nonetheless, as they are likely to live in a society that is mind-centric, it is not going to be a surprise if this pain and their body are overlooked. It will be “all about the mind” and the other parts of their being, that’s if they are even acknowledged, won’t be seen as being important. What will also play a part in their body being overlooked is that their feelings will be seen as being caused by their thoughts. Back In Time This is a half-truth, and one that has and will continue to send people down the garden path; the other part of this is that their thoughts can trigger feelings that are trapped in their body. When it comes to their early years, this may have been a time when they were traumatised on a regular basis. Bad things would have taken place on a weekly, if not daily, basis and this would have caused them to experience a lot of pain. It won’t matter how many years pass, this pain won’t simply disappear. Awareness If becoming aware of what is taking place up top is the first step, the second step is for one to get in touch with the pain that goes with it. From here, one can start to work through their emotional wounds. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone was a take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour, what they could find is that spend a lot of time do-ing and very little time be-ing. Said another way, they can practically always be on the go.
They are then going to be a human being but it would be more accurate to say that they are a human doing. There is the chance that this is how they have been for as long as they can remember. Drawing the Line As a result of this, they could now be at the point where they no longer want to run around like a headless chicken. This is not to say that they are not productive, though, as they may have been able to achieve a lot. Still, living in this way probably will have taken its toll on them, which is why they will want to be a more balanced human being. Ergo, they will have the need to actually be a human be-ing, not just to be one in name only. A Hard Place to leave Nonetheless, as exhausting as it has been for them to live in this way and continues to be, it doesn’t mean that they will just be able to change. A big part of them may be happy to behave in the same way, even though behaving in this way is clearly not serving them. As a result of this, they are likely to find that being aware of what is going on and wanting their life to change is not enough. It can be as though they are in a battle, or at war, with themselves. Another Hurdle Another factor here is that, as destructive as their behaviour is, it can allow them to receive a fair amount of positive feedback from others. Some people can see them as someone who “embraces life” and is a “go-getter”, for instance. Thanks to this, if they were to change their behaviour, part of them could fear that they will lose a lot of positive feedback. This could even be seen as something that will cause other people to turn their back on them. Trapped As their need to change is not as strong as their need to behave in the same way, using their will power alone is not going to cut it. This might work for a short while but, before long, they will simply revert to how they were before. When they are able to stop acting like a human doing, this could be a time when they feel uneasy. To feel better about themselves, then, they could soon find something to keep them busy. Something is Not Right What is clear is that acting like a human doing is what feels comfortable and, due to this, it is hard for them to change. The big question is: why is it that this feels comfortable as opposed to being a human being? Ultimately, being a human being should be their default position and, from here, should be the doing, not the other way around. When one experiences life in this way, they will be able to recharge and do things that are in alignment with who they are. Going Deeper The reason that being a human doing is their default position can be because they are in a traumatised state. This will then be why they feel uneasy whenever they attempt to just be and worry about losing the approval, the ego love, which is provided by others. If they were not in this state, they would be able to sink into their body and feel at home. This would be a time when they would feel at peace, experience a felt sense of safety, security, worth and love and simply feel good. A Very Different Experience Through being in this traumatised state, it can be too painful for them to be in their body and, even if they can get in there, they might soon be pushed out of it. Living on the surface of themselves, as unpleasant as this will be, will be a way for them to avoid how they feel. Also, it will be a way for them to try to experience the feelings that they would naturally experience if they felt comfortable being in their own body. By being estranged from their “inner kingdom”, they will naturally try to source these inner states indirectly by doing, achieving, acquiring more. Way Back Instead of their body being the part of them that nourishes them, it will be a part of them that undermines them. Deep down, what they do will be coming from their need to avoid themselves and from a place of lack, not to express their true-self and from a place of wholeness. What this can illustrate is that their early years were a stage of their life when they were traumatised on a regular basis, with this being a time when they were abused and/or neglected. To handle what was going on, they would have had to leave their body. The Fall Out Many, many years will have passed since that stage of their life, but they will generally be stuck in their sympathetic nervous system and they will still be carrying most, if not all, of the pain that they experienced. And, as they didn’t receive the care that they needed to develop in the right way, they won’t have developed a felt sense of safety, security, self-worth and self-love. For their life to change, they will need to deal with the pain that their emotional body and nervous system is carrying. Another part of this will be to shine the light on the limiting beliefs that they developed during this stage of their life. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
What can be normal is for someone to spend a lot of their time and energy focusing on what they don’t want. This can be something that just happens and it can be seen as a result of what their ancestors when through a long time ago.
Ages ago, when human beings had to fight off predators to survive and were scratching around for food, they had to be tuned into danger and “negativity”. If they weren’t this way, they wouldn’t have lasted for very long. A Remnant of The Past The world is very different now, however, the need to look for danger and to be focused on the “negative” is still very much part of the human experience. It’s as though the human brain hasn’t caught up and needs its software updating. Part of someone’s brain will be stuck in the past and won’t be able to fully accept that times have changed. Still, as this part is there to keep them alive, it probably wouldn’t be an idea for it to be completely done away with; if anything, it just needs calming down. Stuck So, by being focused on what they don’t want, it is unlikely that their life will get any better. In fact, there is a strong chance that it will just get worse as time goes by. The outcome of this is that their life is likely to change but this won’t be the type of change that they want. There will then be even more things that they don’t like and this could go on and on until they hit rock bottom. The First Step For them to move forward, they will need to start focusing on what it is that they do want - to channel their energy into these things. To do this, they can make a list of what they don’t want as this can bring clarity, but, this is not the same as being focused on what they want to let go of. The reason why making a list of what they don't want can help is that they might not be clear about what it is that they do want. Yet, if they have been focused on what they don't want for so long, this is to be expected. The Second Step Once they have a clear idea about what it is that they do want, there are two things that they can do. Firstly, they can look into what steps they need to take to turn their vision into a reality, and secondly, they can start to imagine already having what it is that they desire. In other words, when it comes to having something, there is the doing part and there is the be-ing part. While both of these parts are important, it is the doing part that is heavily emphasised in today’s world. Totally Understandable One way to look at this would be to say that this makes sense, as working for something is the only way that it is going to be attained. It is highly unlikely that it will just fall out of the sky. The trouble with this view, as logical as it may appear to be, is that it doesn’t take into consideration the fact that someone needs to be resonating at the right frequency to experience something. This means that if one is not in the right place internally, it probably won’t matter how hard they work. A Closer Look One thing that someone’s ego-mind will do, along with their eyes, is create the impression that they are simply an observer of their reality. From this place, what is taking place inside them won’t have an impact on what is taking place outside them. What they do, or don't do, will be the only thing that has an impact on their reality, everything else will be out of their control. The truth is that it is not just what they do that shapes their reality; it is also what is taking place inside them. How Does This Take Place? There is something called the law of resonance, which is quantum physicals law, and this law states that everything is made up of vibrating energy. When someone vibrates at a certain frequency, they move into sympathetic resonance with the people, places, circumstances and events that are also vibrating at the same frequency. This is why, someone can work extremely hard but not get what they desire; their actions might be the ‘right’ ones, but they can be giving off the ‘wrong’ frequency. Consequently, instead of pulling what it is that they want towards them, they will repel it, and this will lead to more frustration. The Key With this in mind, it starts to become clear why it is so important for one to be in the right place and not to just do the right things. Through being how they would be if they already had what they wanted, they will be an energetic match for what it is what they desire and it will want them as much as they want it. What this also sheds light on is why it is not a good idea for someone to focus on what they don’t want. As through doing this, they will be an energetic match for what they don’t want and, of course, pull more of it towards them. Breaking It Down When it comes to what makes up someone’s resonance, it relates to their thoughts, emotions, feelings and beliefs. Together, each of these elements defines what it is what they are vibrating. What is taking place in their conscious and their unconscious mind has an effect, and this is why they can manifest something and not see how they manifest it. To understand why it has appeared in their life, whatever it is, they will need to go deeper into themselves. Awareness This whole process starts with awareness as, if one is not aware of how what they are focusing on and resisting is shaping their life, they won’t feel the need to change their focus or to move out of a place of resistance. Through stepping back and reflecting on what they are focusing on and resisting and the impact that this is having, they can do something different.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
 Oliver JR CooperAuthor, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Free Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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